9 Situations When Academics Should Or Shouldn't Hire A Life Coach

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Hugely successful public figures, from artists to business people, all have disclosed that they work extensively with life coaches. Experts say there are six aspects that bring high achieving people like academics to life coaching. 

In an interview given to Fortune magazine, Eric Schmidt, chairman of Alphabet, formerly CEO of Google, claimed: “everyone needs a coach.” Evidently some don’t agree with this statement. But while there may be several circumstances that bring academic people to coaching, there are also good motives why certain people should not hire the services of a life coach. Let’s begin with these.

When Not To Hire A Life Coach

1. When you are looking for someone to fix what's wrong with your life

The right life coach will ask bold questions, listen, and reflect upon what they hear. They can challenge you to ponder in new and more resourceful ways, but a life coach will not “fix” anything for you. 

Keeping balance in your life, both personally and professionally requires a huge commitment on your part. A life coach can uncover some great tools and resources for achieving success in the academic area, but this isn't enough. If you’re not ready to commit to doing the most difficult part yourself, even the best life coach can't support you.

2. When you need help with psychological issues

Coaches are not your therapists. A life coach will aim their attention primarily on looking toward your academic future, helping you to find new ways of acting towards achieving academic success, rather than focusing too much on your past actions. If you are struggling with issues such as depression, anxiety, or mental illness, you will need a therapist first.

3. When you would like a wise friend by your side

Family and friends have sometimes the best intentions, but they are not objective. Being too close to your situation can impair their vision to see the aspects where you may need improvements. However, a life coach is not your close friend. If you anticipate only collusion and affirmation for wrong attitudes regarding your academic efforts, life coaching may not be suitable for you.

But if you want to achieve faster your academic goals, these are the factors that bring high achieving academics to life coaching.

When To Hire A Coach

4. When dealing with successful events 

Change, even when positive,  is exciting and challenging, terrifying and disorientating. A decision in the academic area inevitably causes ripples in other areas of your life. New tenure, for instance, could affect your health, personal relationships, location and your spare time.

Academic growth often challenges us to self-awareness and to reconsider the professional capabilities we have overlooked. It can be difficult to renounce to familiar things, especially if you feel you “should” be incredibly enthusiastic and you aren’t, at the moment, feeling overwhelmed. Collaborating with the right life coach can guide you to discover how you can examine the career you already have and how you can encompass this great change into future academic success.

5. When dealing with difficult situations 

Whether you've lost your position, your grant submission was rejected, papers aren’t published, or you're simply feeling that you aren’t connected to your innovative self, don't just try to force your way through these situations. While most of us want to avoid difficulties at all costs, we shouldn't, as we'll only end up experiencing resentment and depression on a deeper level.

Taking the time to accept difficult changes in your life can shorten the amount of time you spend being unproductive. A qualified coach can provide a compassionate and safe place for you to overcome these challenges and set attainable academic goals.

If you are rethinking the structures of your career in your university, a professional coach can help you discover how to learn better from your struggle, to expand and move forward.

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6. When absolutely nothing is happening 

Perhaps you keep trying to improve your current situation in academia and nothing seems to be working.

To achieve the results you want in the academic community, you will most likely need to change your attitudes towards attaining your goals or your fundamental beliefs regarding your advancement on the academic ladder. The start of the collaboration with a life coach is an ideal time to reconsider accumulated layers of identity.

Fear of failure is the biggest killer of plans and ideas. Lack of knowledge or skills, and missing a clear strategy or action plan, are great obstacles in the way of progress. However, the inertia caused by the fear of failure is the biggest one.

Be one of the few who are willing to knowingly risk failure when reaching for a higher pay grade. Even if you fail to take action, you gain a rich learning opportunity.

If you feel stuck in a loop, a life coach can help you break down self-limiting patterns and principles, renounce at self-defeating assumptions and re-construct the competing causes that keep you stuck.

7. When you want to make things happen 

There is always some goal you may have in your academic life that you desperately want to achieve but its enormity is crushing you. Also, the implications of making such a monumental change can affect your overall development. Often self-restricting behavior proves to be strongest just when you need the boost to take risks for the sake of enhancing your academic career.

Your life coach can offer you support to stay on track, meeting your daily goals and reduce actions that sabotage your plans regarding your career in the scholarly world. A coach can guide you through the doubt, resistance, and confusion that can appear when you are starting something exciting and new, especially when it comes to reinventing your role as a scholar.

8. When you are feeling stuck

Learning how to recognize and ditch wrong beliefs that are running in the background can get you out of weakness and clear up a lot of confusion regarding your next step.

An experienced life coach will help you to become much clearer regarding the achievements in your academic life. Experiencing career fulfillment is about living a scholar’s life that is valued and purposeful. And you can still find balance when you choose a life that is dynamic, aligned with a compelling vision.

9. When you need to figure out what is the next phase of your career

An expert life coach will lead you in the discovery process of your true academic value and guide you in becoming more self-aware as you prepare for a new phase of your scholarly career.

Therefore a life coach, by your side in this exploration, can ask powerful questions that will break your defense. When you learn to be curious about your capabilities, you will become more willing to look in the problematic aspects of your career and take on challenges that once seemed intimidating.

If there's something you’d like to change in your academic life, I can help you discover the motivation you need to get the results you truly want, finding the most effective process and right tools to understand how your brain works, and eventually access your inner power.

In the meantime, take the first step towards achieving your goals by putting an end to procrastination. Get access to my tips for reclaiming your time with the form below!

Reasons to Follow Your Meal Plan During The Day [How To Avoid Cheat Meals At Night]

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You can make your life easier by planning what you're eating ahead of time.

While meal planning can be considered another thing to add to your long “to-do list,” this is one task that should be a priority. 

Don’t be scared to plan meals for an entire week. 

Make your protocol, or meal plan, as flexible as you want because it’s for you. Take the negativity towards meal plans and turn it into adaptability. A meal plan doesn’t mean only eating salads for lunch every day. Meet yourself where you are in your eating.

Few people like eating the same thing every single day, therefore planning is important in order to help you save time, money, and make healthy choices. 

Don’t give up just because you’re out of ideas. Decide you can figure this out.

Here are 10 reasons why you should begin planning your meals a week in advance:

1. It will improve your nutrition

By planning ahead, your goal is to have nutritionally balanced meals during the week. In the process of planning it's important to make sure that each of your office lunches has a balance.

Also, by planning your daily meals, you'll be able to control your personal nutrition needs. So for instance, if you want to go for a lower sodium diet or to try to eat whole grains and veggies, you can plan ahead, too. 

2. It will help you make healthier choices

Each time you have to come up with something to eat last minute, you'll end up going to the cafeteria. That makes it easier to exceed your daily intake. Also, keep in mind that shopping when hungry will only make you end up with  junk food into your cart. 

3. It will encourage you to choose high-quality foods

Homemade lunches are almost always rich in nutrients and filled with fewer calories, salt, and fat than usual takeout or semi-prep options at your grocery store. Opting to cook your own recipes and use healthier ingredients for a whole week will allow you to make better food choices, such as opting for local meats and organic produce. 

4. You’ll save money in the long-run

Deciding upon a meal plan keeps your forgotten ingredients in the fridge from going bad. You can create your plans using whatever you have in your cupboards or in the freezer.

You can also begin by writing your grocery lists based on your meal plans. Thus, you’ll go to the grocery store with a set goal rather than on a whim. This habit will help you avoid coming out of the store with a bunch of various unhealthy food items, most of which you might not even eat. 

Additionally, a well-organized meal plan will save you money by keeping you from ordering pricey last-minute or cheap low-quality take out food.

5. It will save you valuable time

Set from the start, grocery lists will help you not to wander around the grocery store aimlessly, and weekly meal plans will save you from thinking about what to eat every day.

Being an academic keeps you quite busy during the workweek, so make sure you allocate some time during the weekend to prepare most of your meals. Consider oats and frozen berries with greek yogurt in mason jars as breakfasts for on-the-go. And, already prepared quinoa or pasta salads with green veggies and beans can become an office lunch for multiple days. 

Also, consider cooking one or two larger dinners during the weekend in order for you to have something homecooked for when you arrive home tired and don’t have the energy to cook. Portion and split proper servings for you or your family for quick dinners. Soups, chili, meatballs or marinated chicken breasts are great choices for freezing. You can simply defrost and reheat while you add a quick salad or veggie slices - and you’ll end up having a delicious homemade meal almost instantly. 

6. It will decrease daily stress

The daily “what will I eat for lunch or make for dinner” thought that occupies our minds adds to our stress but can be easily prevented by simply creating a clear meal plan. When in doubt, reuse old meal plans and grocery lists to help you organize things faster and reduce prep time. Within a two-week seasonal meal plan, there will surely be enough variety for your family.

7. Deciding upon menu planning helps you avoid unnecessary waste

When you’ve set your meal plan for dinner, any leftover food can be eaten the next day at work for lunch. It’s a pity to get something from the grocery store on impulse and have to throw it out just days later. Planning ahead is the secret to buying and preparing only what you can eat.

8. Menu planning helps you prepare better meals

When you gather dinner ideas at the beginning of the week or on the weekends, you have plenty of time to be creative and come up with delicious foods. Also, you have enough time to organize a complete menu that includes side dishes, salads, and desserts. Your precise menu plan will help you concentrate on improving cooking skills.

9. Meal planning encourages variety

Menu planning prevents you from serving the same meals again and again. You can research for meal ideas online, turn to your loved ones for family recipes, or try to diversify one of your favorite dishes with new ingredients.

10. A meal plan helps you to think in advance 

When you sit down and really think about the week’s meals, you can organize your time and household in advance and remember your favorite foods as well as the things you don’t like.

Planning ahead can turn your kitchen in a more organized place, and your healthy, home-cooked food will be available both at work and at home.

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Conclusion

Try to plan in advance, to organize your meals for several days at a time, including side dishes. Make research part of your meal planning as it will help you come up with new ideas. Also, try to always stick to your list when you go shopping at the grocery store. 

The whole point of this is to not start from zero every day and that's where my guidance comes in handy - I want to help you to follow your protocol. You deserve to overcome your self-sabotages so you can get back to your meaningful work.

How To Stop Overeating Due To Semester Stress [Tips To Unwind Without Giving In]

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Stress eating or rather emotional eating can alter your weight goals – the secret is to search for new ways to relieve semester stress without overeating.

So much truth lies behind the common phrase "stress eating." Daily or occasional stress, the unwanted hormones it releases, and the harmful effects of high-fat, sugary "comfort foods" drive people toward overeating.

Why do academics stress eat during the semester?

Women in academia make no exception from stress-coping actions. Stress during the semester also seems to affect food preferences. While during summer, the usual diet consists of fruits and vegetables, from September until the spring, the preference is towards carbohydrates. Also,  according to studies, physical or emotional distress (something academics generally need to deal with at a high level), increases the intake of high-fat foods as well as foods high in sugar, and sometimes both. 

However, we are aware that overeating at the office isn't the only stress-related action that can add unwanted pounds. Stress causes academics to lose sleep, exercise less, and over drink, all of which can lead to excess weight.

Why Is It So Important To Understand Emotional Eating?

Before starting to fight against your overeating habits and learning how to unwind without giving in, you need to comprehend what lies behind your comfort food coping mechanisms.

Many women experience emotional eating at one time or another during a stressful week. It could appear as eating a harmless bag of chips when bored or indulging in a chocolate bar after a difficult day at work.

Be aware of the stress eating factors 

Some of the stress eating factors are intricate and can involve some of the following situations:👇

• Childhood development

In some cases, emotional eating is a learned behavior from the early years of life. What happens is that in many cases during childhood, parents provide their children with sweet treats to help them cope with a difficult day or situation, or as a reward for something they did well.

And then, as this type of behavior turns into a habit, it is no wonder that a child who gets a cookie (to help them better cope with the difficult situation) after getting a bad grade on a test, for instance, can turn into an adult who reaches for a whole box of cookies after a rough day at work.

What this example shows is that the origin of emotional eating goes way back sometimes, in which case breaking the habit can feel extremely challenging.

• The struggle of coping with emotions

It is pretty common for women to struggle with uncomfortable feelings and emotions. This triggers an instinctual behavior or a need to fix or even annihilate these negative feelings as fast as possible - which can, in turn, contribute to unhealthy attitudes.

And keep in mind that emotional eating is not only connected to negative feelings. One can eat a handful of candy at a fun Christmas party, or eat excessively at a fancy New Year’s Eve dinner. So, it's important to be aware of overeating due to thoughts about the location of the food - such as dinner parties, the holiday season, etc.

• The physical effect of stress

According to studies there are also physical reasons why stress and powerful emotions can influence a person to overeat. Here are some of the most important ones you need to pay close attention to:

• High cortisol levels: In the initial phase, stress causes the appetite to decrease in order for your body to deal with the difficult situation. If the stress level does not decrease, another hormone, cortisol, is released. Cortisol is also responsible for increased appetite and can lead you to overeat.

• Cravings: A second phase is initiated as high cortisol levels from stress that can increase specific cravings for foods rich in sugar or fat. Stress is linked with high levels of hunger hormones as well, which may also add up to cravings for unhealthy foods.

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How to relieve stress without overeating

The first action you need to take to free yourself from emotional eating is to know first hand the triggers and circumstances that apply in your life.

Try keeping a food diary or weekly journal to help to identify situations when you are more inclined to eat because of emotional instead of physical hunger.

Tracking your behavior is another way you can catch some insight into your eating habits.

The behavior you could keep track of may include the following: 👇

• Patterns of hunger levels, measuring them on a 1–10 scale

• What you are going through and if it is something difficult and unpleasant

• What  you are feeling, whether bored, angry or happy

Another option could be to choose professional help in order to get the guidance you need in your journey. It can also be helpful to talk to a life coach to discuss other ways to break the cycle of emotional eating and improve your way of living your life.

A weight coach may also be able to help you with discovering additional information on creating positive eating habits and a better relationship with food.

Next, you may want to consider brainstorming ideas for means to counterbalance the triggers you will identify during your self-inquiry.

Other suggestions that can help counter stress 👇

Meditation

Many studies demonstrate that meditation diminishes stress, even though a big part of the research was focused on high blood pressure and heart disease related to stress. Meditation can influence you to become more aware of you food choices. With constant practice, you will be able to hold back the impulse to instantly grab comfort food and start to inhibit this impulse.

If you are overeating because of your daily stress, you could try mindful yoga at home, meditating in your office, or taking a walk along campus to help yourself deal with your emotions.

Exercise 

While your cortisol levels may change depending on the intensity and length of your exercise, in general, physical exercise can counteract some of the adverse effects of stress. Some activities, like yoga and tai chi, blend components of both exercise and meditation.

If you tend to eat when bored, you may want to choose a new book that seems stimulating to start reading, or pick a new hobby, maybe one that includes the outdoors, that could provide a challenge.

Social support 

Surrounding yourself with friends, family, and other sources of social support may have a buffering effect on the levels of stress that you experience on a daily basis. 

Studies suggest that people working in a stressful environment, like hospital emergency departments, seem to have better mental health if they are provided with adequate social support. But even if you do not live or work in circumstances where the stakes are as high you still need support from time to time from your friends, close family, and/or professionals.

• If you start to eat excessively when you are sad, you may want to call a good friend, take your dog for a run, or plan a quick getaway to cope with your negative feelings.

However, when stress eating occurs on a daily basis at your job or it becomes the predominant course of action to handle your emotions when you face a stressful situation, then your life, physical health, overall happiness, and weight can be negatively influenced. 
Let me help you work through stress with the right approach in order for you to feel great today and every day.

The WHY Behind Dr. Caitlin Faas [Why I Do What I Do]

Setting the scene

I believe we can all agree that being stressed and exhausted can quite often lead to overeating and lack of exercise. 

What we may not all be aware of is that according to new studies women directly gain weight when facing heavy pressure at work. And things can get even more complicated for women in academia, where demands are high, deadlines are close, and time is not a friend.

Stress is the cause of many health issues, but weight gain is one of the obvious side effects. Stress at work, especially for women, can result in little time to eat healthily or exercise, which in turn causes extreme fatigue and a strong desire to indulge in comfort food.

Although studies haven't necessarily investigated the hidden causes of overeating in this situation, it may be about the combination of job tasks at work and the responsibility for the household that women often assume. This makes it rather difficult to find time to live a healthy life.  So how can you avoid overdrinking, overeating, and procrastinating?

The good news is that there are ways to fight stress efficiently, improve sleep, boost your mood consciously, lose weight in a healthy way and tackle unhealthy eating habits, watch your caffeine intake, and exercising more. 

And that's where I come in.

Let me tell you how it all began…

I’m Caitlin Faas, Ph.D., tenured psychology professor and certified life coach. All these struggles were very familiar to me. While climbing the academic ladder, without feeling personal fulfillment, I was eating junk food between meetings and enjoying one too many drinks. Taking care of my health, was not a priority. No wonder I felt exhausted and suffering from burn-out syndrome. 

That is why I have a special understanding of women in higher education who make sustainable, lifelong changes ripples across their lifespan.

They are willing to make healthy choices, ready to educate themselves on losing weight in a quality way, but get stuck in their semester routine with weight loss. The majority are doing so well in August, but are falling apart by December.

And then everything changed

However, I decided that enough was enough and I want my story to help, inspire and empower you. I managed to lose the weight and kept it off, breaking my vicious cycle of overeating and overdrinking for good. 

Reaching out to a life coach revolutionized everything for me, making me show up for myself,  investing in myself and committing to doing the work of real transformation. Because I believe in helping and teaching by example, I wanted to guide others to experience life to the fullest. 

• Once I did the work myself, I became a certified life and weight coach to offer guidance to others on their journey to their better selves.

Why I do what I do

Being the best version of myself shows others what is truly possible. I am an example of what is possible and taking care of my own physical and mental health has created the foundation for my life success.

I believe that when people stop bad habits, they unlock the ability to go after their dreams, setting things in motion. 

My top priority is now my physical and emotional health. It can take some time to make it work and I want to help other academics unleash their power to do the same. They have such amazing work to get out into the world and overeating doesn't have to hold them back.

Academics have great ideas to share with the world, trying to reach as many people as possible, but we cannot do that at the highest level unless we are taking excellent care of ourselves. 

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What I do

Everyone who enters the journey of self-discovery and self-empowerment realizes they had the power all along. I just provide the help they need to get out on their own. I can also show them how to refocus those intelligent brains to work in their favor.

In order for you to get the results that you want, I am a strong believer in 1:1 coaching sessions where we can create together an outline naming all your obstacles, plus strategies and tips to overcome them. 

With my help, you will be able to go introspective on understanding why your circumstances are neutral and how to run an analysis of the reasons why you don’t take action. All of these can lead to the discovery of existing beliefs that sabotage your productivity.

After assessing where you stand, I can guide you on learning how to allow urges and unlearn desire, give advice on how to plan for difficult situations. Then we'll also create a plan on how to handle the discomfort, with a clear focus on defining the tangible results you want to achieve in our six weeks together.

All these will help you unleash your inner strength, helping you create the feeling that fuels action, leading to the implementation of pro-activation instead of procrastination.

My work is to teach you how to believe something you don’t yet believe while coming up with proactive plans for you without judging. 

How my work can benefit you

Decisions that will benefit your life in order for you to feel and look great aren’t that easy to make because you will need to discover the cause of your overeating and how it relates to your life, learn how to allow for food urges, but unlearn desire and determine what to do when you have upsetting life events.

Under my guidance, you will enjoy your own individualized food protocol in order for you to get the results you actually want. Teaching you how to allow discomfort throughout the process of weight loss and learning how to plan ahead for difficult situations will end up developing exception plans and embrace the joy of eating. 

All these steps will create a new mindset where you will discover what desire is and where it comes from and help you change self-depreciation to curiosity. One can obtain lasting change only by getting to the root of the issue and I can guarantee you that you will see a difference in your actions and lifestyle.

How I do it

As a life and weight coach, my work consists of showing you your beautiful brain. I don’t believe in the authoritarian approach in which I end up telling you what to do. You will realize through our process that you actually have all the answers inside of you. My job is to help you see that for yourself, so you can make true progress and feel good inside and out. This is how you can actually lose weight for good, stop overdrinking, and end procrastination.

I have designed a six-week program where I will guide you through making decisions and help you to follow through several steps along the way, steps tailored specifically to your needs.  We’ll cover the result you actually want, obstacles and strategies, what desire is and where it comes from and how to change your judgment of yourself to curiosity and to explore your mind.

I know it can feel overwhelming like there’s no way breaking the vicious cycle. But I believe you can do it and I want to help you learn how.

In the end, it is about true change. And true, lasting change comes from getting to the root of the issue that keeps you stuck in the cycle of procrastination. Changing your thoughts and mindset can and will result in a difference in your actions and lifestyle.

What is the next step

What I mean by 'leading by example' is that I believe my success can become your success.  I want to help you become your best self. 
So, let's work together and overcome the need to overeat or drink too much and become unstoppable in what you can accomplish. Once you do that you will realize that you can really enjoy life to the fullest.

Why overworking does not make you more productive

We all tend to get trapped in negative beliefs that sound something like this:

• If I put in more hours, I'll be more productive.

• I'm successful because I put in 50+ hours per week at work.

• If I had more time, I'd get more work done.

But these thoughts often lead us to results we don't actually want.

Here's an example:

Circumstance - Your calendar for the month

Thought - If I had more time, I'd get more work done.

Feeling - Frustrated

Actions - Reading blog posts like this one, looking for more time, avoiding actual work to find more time

Result - No time to get more work done.

The thought led to the result in this model.

Your calendar is neutral.

You choose to think thoughts about it. And in this case, it wasn't a helpful thought. It didn't lead to any more time or any more work getting done.

The thoughts that lead us to overwork are sneaky like that. It seems like a helpful thought until you actually live it.

Here's a different thought that completely changes that model:

Circumstance - Your calendar for the month

Thought - I can plan out my work time efficiently.

Feeling - Motivated

Actions - Blocking out time on the calendar, reflecting on time needed for each task, blocking out time for interruptions and surprises

Result - Planned out work time for efficiency.

See how different that model turns out because of a different thought?

If you're interested in learning more about models, please check out The Life Coach School.

I can hear you now. You're saying, "But Caitlin, you don't understand. I HAVE to work 50+ hours in my job. I just have to."

As a life coach, my job is to hold space for you and stay out of your thought swimming pool.

You tell me that you have to work 50+ hours, but I don't believe you until you show me evidence.

It's more likely a thought you're choosing to think.

Why are you choosing to think that you have to work 50+ hours per week?

By working together, we can examine your beliefs up close. We'll separate those thoughts out from the circumstances and work towards purposeful productivity.

For now, let's look at some common behaviors that occur during our work time.

First, are you reading this post when you say you're supposed to be working?

Letting yourself get caught up in distractions is so easy to do.

It's easy to respond to the pings and notifications that show up in our lives.

It's easy to do anything else other than the actual work we're supposed to be doing.

We have to create environments for ourselves where there aren't temptations.

Think about it this way. If you were on a mission to not eat sugar, would you stock your pantry full of sweets? Nope. You'd remove all the sugar opportunities that you could.

The same thing needs to happen with overworking.

Remove the temptations to distract yourself.

• Hide your phone or or put it in Do Not Disturb mode.

• Download a browser extension that doesn't let you browse the internet. I like StayFocusd for Chrome.

• Keep your office door closed or create a distraction free zone in your cubicle.

• Tell others you will be available during certain time frames and only those time frames.

• Keep your email closed, except during scheduled times to read and respond.

See this article for help in setting boundaries with your boss.

You've probably heard these tips before. But are you actually implementing them?

Next, I recommend tracking times you are working.

And this isn't just "Oh yeah, 9-5 each day." Don't give me the, "Yeah, I tried that once. Meh." Be very specific:

• What time of day is it?

• What was the task?

• How long did it take?

• Did you get interrupted? Why?

Creating that simple log will give you a lot of amazing data to look back on in one day and one week.

You'll be able to identify what's going well and what isn't. It won't be vague anymore. It will be specific.

Create the list of results you want, instead of hours you want to work.

If you give yourself 8 hours to write that report, guess how long it will take?

8 hours, maybe 10-12 if you choose thoughts to overwork.

Instead, I recommend creating a result like, "Report written and submitted to boss." Put it on your calendar with a specific time frame.

Refer back to some of your time tracking data if you have it. How long has it taken you to write reports like this in the past?

Stick to the plan you create. You must write that report in the time given.

Choose thoughts like:

• I can do my work in exactly the time I've allowed myself.

• Focusing now on my work will pay off in the future.

• I'm a person who sticks to my plan.

• I know I can get this report done in the time I've allowed.

• I'm committed to this plan I've created.

Then you'll end up with a report written in exactly the time you've allowed. Instead of overworking and being exhausted at the end of the process.

Ready to take the next step toward achieving your goals? Check out my tips for reclaiming your time with the form below!

How to get your boss to respect your boundaries

Are you working for someone who expects you to be available 24/7?

Do they give you assignments with a due date of yesterday?

Does it seem like you're living in the movie Office Space?

You're not alone, most people can relate.

Work boundaries can be challenging to set up and maintain.

It's the scarcity mindset that gets to us about work boundaries.

We think thoughts like:

• If I'm not available 24/7, I won't get promoted.

• I could get fired if I don't answer my boss immediately.

• I can't afford to lose this job, so I'll do anything.

Those thoughts lead to feelings of fear. Then we take actions we don't actually want to take, like keeping our work email open 24/7.

We cut back on time with family and friends so we can be more available. We throw our boundaries right out the window when we're afraid.

Let's change that mindset step by step.

1. What do you want your boundaries to be?

Sit down and write out the list. Don't just think about it. Write out the actual list. Imagine an ideal day, leaving your boss out of it. Make it a list of things you can control.

Ideas:

• I want to not be available for work between 7pm-7am.

• I want to check my work email once after 5pm.

• I want to be present and engaged at family events.

• I want to avoid distractions at work so I can focus on work tasks during designated times.

• I want to schedule weekends when I'm completely unplugged.

2. What actions do you have to take to make your list happen?

Here's where you can involve your boss. You can tell them directly about your new boundary. Some bosses might even be willing to help you set it up.

If you don't think that will go over well, boundaries are still all within your control. You have to create the consequences.

Boundary statements are If _________, then _______:

• If my boss emails me at 8pm, I answer it by 12pm the next day.

• If my boss texts me during dinner, I do not respond until after dinner.

• If my boss asks me to work on a weekend project at the last minute, I reply that I am unavailable until Monday morning.

• If my boss says I must be available, I set parameters around the timeline of actual work.

• If my boss yells at me, I do not respond until everyone is calm.

3. How do you have to feel to take those actions?

Positive feelings will help you have a productive conversation with your boss. Feelings like confident, determined, and optimistic.

This concept ties back to the scarcity mindset. When you feel miserable and scared about boundaries, you don't take productive action. That's true for all of us. We ended up without boundaries because we felt scared.

Feeling confident helps us take positive action forward with our boss. We're able to keep our boundaries when we come from an abundant place rather than a scarcity mindset.

4. What thoughts do you have to choose to feel confident?

Confidence doesn't appear out of thin air. It comes from our thoughts.

Thoughts like:

• I know I can set up healthy boundaries.

• I'm developing my boundary setting abilities.

• It takes practice and this is the perfect opportunity to practice.

• I can successfully navigate this boundary with my boss.

• I am a valuable worker and boundaries are important.

Find a thought that works for you. Remember, the thought has to generate confidence or optimism. Then you'll take the positive actions of moving forward with your boundary setting.

5. Stick to your protocol.

Once you establish boundaries and create a schedule for yourself, stick with it. See what works and what doesn't. Make adjustments, but make them 24 hours in advance.

The key is not to react in the moment with a new protocol. If your boss sends you a panic text message and your emotions take over, you'll respond. Instead, allow the urge to respond to exist. Stick to your protocol. Remind yourself why you're doing this.

I bet if you’re struggling with boundaries at work, you’re also struggling with time.

Here’s how I make myself work during designated times.

The not-so-rewarding “rewards” of overworking

Overworking is a sneaky form of buffering.

It seems like a good thing with lots of rewards, until it's not.

Buffering is a concept developed by Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School. It's all the times we avoid emotions and try to fill that space with something external.

Think about when you've eaten an entire pint of ice cream to "feel better." Do you actually feel better at the end of the pint or when you've reached the end of the bag of chips? Nope.

That's buffering. We thought something would give us lots of pleasure, but then we took it too far.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying ice cream. It's the "too much" part and avoiding our real emotions that makes it a problem.

And how many times have we had to learn that lesson again and again?

We overeat, overdrink, over-Facebook, overshop, and overwork.

We all see the pitfalls of overeating and overdrinking. Overeating contributes to obesity. Overdrinking contributes to alcoholism.

Even overshopping contributes to hoarding and debt. Too much Facebook or social media contributes to less time to do things you love or need to be getting done.

But overworking is sneaky because there are a lot more "rewards" tied to overworking.

If you put in longer hours at work, the rewards are:

• more money

• awards

• praise from your boss

• climbing up "the corporate or academic ladder"

• a possible promotion

The list goes on. In our United States culture, overworking is something we love. We put it on a pedestal and strive for more.

We don't all walk around saying, "I'd like to overwork myself this week."

But we do say, "Time to hustle. Time to grind it out."

We also say, "Hard work is important. You have to put in the hours."

"Success only comes from hard work."

Of course, hard work can be valuable and important. But remember, we're talking about buffering. The "too much aspect" of something. Avoiding our internal feelings by using something external instead.

Too much working pulls us away from other things.

Overworking takes away time from family and friends.

It takes time away from joyful activities and hobbies.

And it often keeps us out of the present moment, putting our focus on the future and tasks to be completed tomorrow.

That's why so many of my clients come to me feeling burnt out and confused about their next steps.

They think changing their circumstances (e.g., changing employers), will solve their problem.

You may be in this boat too.

I completely understand because I've been there myself.

The first step to overcoming overworking is to identify how it shows up in your life.

For me, I noticed I would fill my future calendar with tons of events. I said yes all the time to things "in a few months."

It felt far away, it felt good to say yes, and I didn't have to pay the consequences until the month actually happened.

Then I would say, "How did my calendar get so full? Why am I this overbooked?"

Decisions I made two months ago were showing up to haunt me.

You may find that you lean towards overworking when you're going through a difficult time. Maybe you lost a loved one or don't want to grapple with the anger you have. So you turn to overworking.

For me, I was trying to outrun myself. I didn't like the voice in my head, so I thought I could drown it out by overworking. (It didn't work, obviously.)

Remember, overworking seems like it helps, but it's a false pleasure.

What if you felt the feelings in that moment, instead of turning to something external?

When you feel the need to overwork, write it down. Keep writing the urges down.

What patterns show up for you?

The simple act of writing down when you feel the need to overwork will reveal so much to you.

You might find that you say yes to overworking when you're feeling scarcity about money. It seems like earning more money, especially overtime, will fill that need.

But the scarcity mentality doesn't go away through overworking. It goes away through changing your thoughts and allowing your feelings.

You might find that overworking seems great when others ask you to do it. You are "helping others" and "serving your community." But afterwards, you still feel hollow or burnt out. You start to forget why you wanted to help people in the first place. It's through changing your thoughts that helps you tap back into your reasons why.

Overworking can feel like an endless cycle because you've always done it. It's really easy to find more work, more ice cream, and more alcohol. There is no end to "more" in today's culture. Wanting to change it and thinking new thoughts drives the difference.

When you stop overworking, you find yourself with true rewards.

The reward of being in the present moment. The reward of delayed gratification. The reward of working on something you truly love, rather than working on something "meh."

Want to talk through your hang ups on overworking? Don’t hesitate to reach out.

How to kick an unhealthy eating habit to the curb

Are you overeating and regretting it afterwards? Eating too many snacks after dinner? Skipping breakfast because you're out of time in the morning? Do you constantly Google- Do I eat too much?

You're not alone. There are many unhealthy eating habits and patterns that we get into over time. They usually don't start overnight, but they can be hard to shake.

The first thing to recognize is that shaming and blaming yourself isn't going to get rid of that habit.

How do you feel when you think these thoughts?

• I should be able to stop eating after dinner.

• I should be able to feed myself breakfast in the morning before I leave for work.

• I should stop eating these unhealthy snacks.

Feeling guilty? Or some other negative emotion?

Feeling guilty doesn't make us want to take the actions we want to take. It usually makes us want to run away from the problem or hide it.

Too often my coaching clients think they can "should" their way out of a habit or into a new one. It doesn't work.

What does work is generating inspiration and determination.

Those feelings come from different thoughts, like:

• I know I can change this eating habit.

• I can do anything I set my mind to.

• I can figure this process out, step by step.

• Many other people have done this before me.

• I'm looking forward to figuring out a healthy eating habit.

The key is to find the thoughts that work best for you. They have to ring true and generate positive feelings for you.

Then you'll be able to take the actions you want to take.

You'll look back at your food tracking diaries to see what patterns are emerging.

Maybe you notice that every work day at 3:00 PM you wander over to the vending machine. Seeing that pattern allows you make a shift.

Then you can say, "Instead of going to the vending machine, I'm going to pack a healthy snack the night before." Try it. See if it works for you. If it doesn't, readjust. Small tweaks can make all the difference. They add up very quickly.

You might also notice a pattern of eating more at night. A lot of people trying to lose weight can stick to their breakfast and lunch plans, but struggle in the evenings. Recognizing that's a normal human pattern is important. It's called ego depletion.

As the day goes on, our decision making abilities get fatigued. It isn't something to beat yourself up about. It's something to recognize and adapt to (see how to conquer self-control).

You'll also be able to question the thoughts you believe to be true.

If you say something like, "I need dessert after dinner," you can question that. Is it true that you need dessert? Or has it become such a habit, that you aren't even sure if you need to do it? Try a night without it. See what happens. How do you feel afterwards?

Another common thought is, "Eating this cookie will help relieve my stress." We think eating makes us feel better. Eating as a reaction to a feeling isn't a strategy that works for us long-term. It's a way to buffer away our true feelings.

If you're feeling stressed, the key is to allow the feeling of stress. It won't last very long when you actually allow the feeling. You can even start to shift with statements like, "I'm feeling stressed, which does not mean I need a cookie." Try it, see if it works for you. Write down what you notice.

As you do start to change your eating habits, build in rewards.

If you've figured out a habit you want to change and make a plan to change it, what reward will you get? We all thrive on a reward system. If you avoid the vending machine for an entire week, is there something else you want to spend that money on? Is there an experience you can gift yourself (e.g., pedicure)? Create a system for yourself to succeed and something to look forward to in the future.

And don't try to change all the habits at once.

Many of us dive head first into 5-10 new habits all at once. We also have a knack for doing it right when everything else is stressful. The semester is ending, there's a work deadline looming. So we take on "healthy eating habits" like it isn't going to be too much at once. Habit building takes time. Give yourself grace and compassion in the process. Write yourself a permission slip to work on one healthy eating habit at a time.

Extra inspiration:

• Remind yourself of your reasons for losing weight

• Recommit to your weight loss goals

• Follow the CDC recommendations to reflect, replace, and reinforce your eating habits

Want to work on your eating habits through life coaching?

Leave your details below to sign up for my free stop overeating program!

How to find the right food tracking method for your life

We all know there are many ways to track your food.

It can feel overwhelming though because of our thoughts about it:

• There are too many options to choose from.

• I don't know where to start.

• I tried tracking once and it was too much.

• I'm not sure tracking my food intake actually helps me.

• I don't know why I should bother tracking my food.

• I should find the best way to track how much I eat somehow.

Those thoughts don't lead to productive action.

They leave us feeling stuck and without the result we want.

If our desired result is to lose 50 pounds and eat health foods, what actions do we need to take to get there?

One of the first actions is to track our food.

We need to feel inspired and motivated to make that actually happen.

That means we need to think helpful thoughts like:

• This post can help guide me in the right direction.

• I want to lose 10 pounds and eat healthier.

• I can take steps to lose weight and eat healthier.

• I know this isn't complicated.

• I want to do the work.

• I'm going to find the right food tracking method for me.

See how those thoughts lead to a positive feeling with true action?

The best news is that you get to choose your thoughts.

You have to find thoughts that motivate and inspire you.

Take a second to write down the thoughts that guided you to open this post. What comes up for you?

The secret to tracking your food isn't in the method itself.

It's actually doing the work of tracking.

You can track your food on paper if it works for you.

You can track your food on your phone if it works for you.

Looking for some helpful top food tracking apps to keep track of the food you eat?

• Lifesum

• Lark

• My Fitness Pal

Let’s be clear - an app or a piece of paper won't actually do the work for you.

You have to do the work and want to do that work.

Once you have a positive cycle of thoughts leading to results, you'll gain momentum.

Here's an intentional example -

Circumstance - Downloaded My Fitness Pal on phone.

Thought - This app is going to be really helpful for tracking my food and activity.

Feeling - Motivated

Actions - Tracking the food, getting mini rewards with the app

Results - The app is really helpful for tracking.

It's easy to have an unintentional model too -

Circumstance - Downloaded My Fitness Pal on phone.

Thought - I don't know how to use this app.

Feeling - Frustrated

Actions - Not tracking food, ignoring the app

Results - Not using the app to work towards ultimate goal of losing weight and eating healthy foods.

See how two people could both download the app, but get completely different results?

It's all in their thoughts. Not the tracking method itself.

Thinking thoughts that food tracking can be helpful is crucial.

I love this article about the 7 biggest benefits of a food diary by Runtastic. Those are the kinds of reasons that lead me to think, "Yeah! I want to track my food! I can do this!"

Don't view tracking your food as something you have to do the rest of your life.

You can commit to a week of tracking at first. See what you learn. See if you have any "aha" moments.

Talk about your food diary with a life coach. See what insights you uncover.

Check in with your reasons for losing weight and how to commit to losing that weight.

How to commit yourself to your weight loss goals

Photo courtesy of Gesina Kunkel https://happyveganfit.de/

You know you want to lose weight and you have your list of "real" reasons that resonate with you. Now it's time to commit. But that feels scary. How do you actually stick to these reasons?

Commitment to losing weight takes planning and using the prefrontal cortex in our brain.

Our prefrontal cortex is the part of our brain in charge of decision making. It's the most advanced part of our brain and the part that takes the most time to develop. Researchers think full development of this part takes until we're about 25 years old.

Remember all those great decisions you made when you were fifteen?

Yeah, me too.

When I was 15 years old, I thought eating a sleeve of Ritz crackers everyday for lunch was a great idea. It saved my lunch money for better purchases - like Diet Coke and cookies. Not a healthy choice, looking back. But at least now I know my prefrontal cortex was still growing.

As adults, we can harness the power of our prefrontal cortex.

We can plan and make decisions in advance. We can say, "Tomorrow, this is what I will eat."

That's what commitment is all about. Making a protocol at least 24 hours in advance and sticking with it.

You know you're using your prefrontal cortex when you make a plan 24 hours in advance. You know you're using the more primitive parts of your brain when you're making a plan 5 minutes in advance. That's not a plan, that's responding to an urge.

How can you tell the difference between your prefrontal cortex and primitive brain?

The primitive brain yells a lot. It's like a toddler, trying to be in charge of all your decisions. It tries to override your prefrontal cortex most of the time.

It says things like, "Hey, let's eat this cookie in a few minutes. It's a great idea."

But what do we do with toddlers? We tell them no.

We have to tell our primitive brains the same thing when it wants that cookie. We have to say, "I hear you. I know you want a cookie. But it's not part of our protocol. It's not on the plan for eating today."

It can become harder as the day goes on not to give into the primitive brain. It tries to wear us down and we get ego depleted. We've all been there. We say, "FINE! I'm tired! Let's eat the cookie!"

And the primitive brain rejoices. It say, "Great, I know exactly what to do next time to get what I want. I'll throw a fit and then I'll get what I want."

Just like a toddler, remember?

The goal in sticking with our commitments isn't to "shut the primitive brain up" or ignore it.

We speak calmly and quietly to it. We say, "It's not in the plan. Not today."

We allow our urges to exist, we allow the voice to scream.

But we don't give in. We let our prefrontal cortex stay in charge, the adult in the room.

We stick to our protocol that we created. We remind ourselves of our bigger commitment and reasons why.

And when we're ready, we take notes and watch the primitive brain talking. We notice when it wants to talk the most. We stay curious about that voice and when it gets upset.

We remove temptations and help it stay calm and collected.

Just like a toddler. We give it rest and restoration time.

We don't try to manipulate it by screaming or crying back. We allow it to be. We recognize it. And then we move on.

Your commitment to losing weight is about managing your thoughts and allowing urges. It isn't about a new fangled technology or special workout clothes. It's about sticking to what you said you were going to do. Following through. And getting in the pattern.

If you're doubting this process, there are thoughts to manage!

You are amazing and you can do this.

Let's talk about it! In the meantime, use the form below to get access to my tips for reclaiming your time!

What are your reasons for losing weight?

Losing weight is the most common New Year's Resolution in the United States. We know we have an obesity epidemic in our country. Many of us have an overabundance of food, especially delicious desserts. And to top it off, we're coming off the holiday season. We couldn't turn around the last few weeks without someone offering us a cookie.

With the new year, many of us set goals to lose weight or to try a new diet.

Year after year, we set the same goal. And many of us abandon these goals by the time February rolls around. It's cold and dark for many of us in these months. All the inspiration seems to have evaporated. Part of why that happens is our thought process behind losing weight.

We think we should lose weight for the following reasons:

• Our doctor told us to lose weight

• All those fitspo women on Instagram are thin

• Our mom told us we're looking heavy

• We think we'll be happier when we're thinner

• We used to weigh that much in our twenties

The list goes on. Shoulds are everywhere. But shoulds are rarely motivation to actually do the work and lose the weight. They just hang around, making us feel guilty and down on ourselves.

What if this year, you wanted to lose weight for the right reasons?

What if you kept those reasons in the forefront, instead of all the "should" reasons?

Defining a "right reason" is an individual process. Inside, you know what works best for you. It's really easy to listen to all of the outside noise instead of your inner voice.

The good news is that inner voices have a lot in common. They speak a common truth for all of us. That's how we end up with common "right" reasons to accomplish our goals, like losing weight.

So ask yourself and spend some time journaling or talking it through with a life coach.

Why do you want to lose weight?

1. Make an unfiltered list. Get it all down.

2. When you think you're out of reasons, write five more.

3. Separate out the reasons into shoulds and reasons that feel like truth.

How do you tell the difference between shoulds and true reasons?

Should reasons feel heavy and down.

Example of a "should" reason to lose weight:

Circumstance - Goal to lose 20 pounds.

Thought - My doctor said I should do this, but I don't know if I can.

Feeling - Anxious

Action - Reading all of the weight loss plan books, but not really doing anything about it. Not really taking action, just worrying.

Result - Not losing any weight

See how that unintentional model holds us back from our goals? It started with a "should" reason rather than a real reason.

Reasons that feel like truth inspire and motivate you.

You feel connected and excited about the right reasons. Maybe you're smiling when you think about the right reasons.

Your right reasons will connect you to your end goal. You'll have thoughts that work in your favor. Those thoughts will generate positive feelings. Positive feelings generate forward moving action, which then lead to results.

For example, here’s an intentional model with a "right" reason thought:

Circumstance - Goal to lose weight.

Thought - I want to do this for my future health.

Feeling - Motivated

Action - Sticking to a protocol

Result - Losing weight, helping future health.

Other examples of positive thoughts to lose weight (if they resonate with you):

• I am becoming a better version of myself everyday.

• I want to be a role model for my children.

• I am enjoying the journey of weight loss.

• I like treating my body with respect.

• I know I like eating healthy food in the long-term.

Take your reasons and put them somewhere you can see them every single day.

Maybe that's on your phone as a reminder. Or a piece of paper near your bed. A note on your bathroom mirror. A list in your car. Wherever you spend time every day.

These are the reasons that will keep you going. Not because I said so. Not because Jillian Michaels or your favorite fitspo person on Instagram said so. Because you said so. Because these reasons are your truth.

Need extra help generating your reasons for losing weight? Let’s talk.

Why Do I Need a Life Coach?

Have you heard the term "life coach" and wondered what in the world that means? I hear you. I thought the same thing about four years ago when a student told me he wanted to pursue it as a career. I was very skeptical, but tried to help him as best I could. Then my sister told me about her corporate coach at work. The more she described what happened in each session, the more I wanted to know.

Wondering turned into searching online and seeking the help of my own coaches. I realized I participated in a group coaching program when I was writing my dissertation. It just wasn't called coaching back then. I pursued my own life coach certification and the rest is history for me.

What about you? What if you're still learning about it and clicked on this page? Once you've experienced high quality life coaching, it all makes sense. Of COURSE you would hire a life coach to help you get unstuck on your problems. It's my go to solution now for my own problems. Let's walk through some questions.

Have you ever set a goal for yourself, like a New Year's Resolution, and then abandoned it by February or March?

A life coach could have helped you stay on track.

First, we help set goals. Many people set vague goals for themselves. Then they need help ironing them out to be specific and measurable. A life coach can help you identify what you actually want to achieve, not only what you "think" you want to achieve. Society has plenty of New Year's Resolutions for you, but do you actually want to achieve them?

Good coaches also help with accountability throughout the process.

We point out your thought patterns that lead to feelings and actions. Through that pattern, you can see why you're getting the results you're getting. We help you change your thought patterns to be intentional instead of unintentional. We remind you why you wanted to achieve that goal in the first place. We cheer you on, especially when you're feeling down about the entire process.

Do you find yourself procrastinating?

That's one of the most common reasons people seek me out as a life coach. They have work that needs to get done or an article that needs to be written, but they keep putting it off. You might have a dream you've been meaning to pursue and everything else keeps getting in the way. I help clients work on cutting through the procrastination. We talk about changing thoughts and awesome productivity tools to help along the way.

And do you have trouble sorting through the story and the facts?

When we talk to our friends, we tell them stories and they agree with us. They say, "Oh yeah, you are SO right," all the time. That's part of why they are our friends. They agree with us.

But life coaches don't do that.

We point out the times when you're telling a story compared to when you're telling the facts. Facts are clear and provable. Facts don't have emotion tied to them. For example, you might want to say, "She's trying to make me jealous." A friend would agree with you.

As a life coach, I would ask, "How you how know for sure that she is trying to make you jealous?." You wouldn't know for sure unless the person told you in a statement. Too often, we make judgements about what other people are thinking. Life coaches help you check in with reality.

As a coach, I have distance on the situation. I'm neutral.

I'm not tied up in your situation or stories. I can see them clearly. My job is to help you see those thoughts clearly too. And you just might find yourself reframing the entire situation. We all need reality checks!

How committed are you to change?

When you're 100% committed to change, you're ready for a life coach. You might be ready to stop overeating, stop overdrinking, or stop overworking. Sometimes I talk to people about a change they are considering, but they aren't sure yet. They aren't sure if they actually want to finish a project or write that paper. Someone else or society told them they should have that goal. But they themselves aren't actually committed.

Life coaching is an investment in yourself and your future.

If you're not ready for change, you're not ready. Keep exploring why. Maybe you actually need a therapist or counselor who can help you process the past. I never push people to life coaching if they aren't 100% committed to positive change.

Want to read more reasons about why you need a life coach?

• Check out 22 more reasons you should hire a life coach to help achieve your goals.

• Or the five reasons why you shouldn't hire a life coach.

• There's also the 12 signs that you really need a life coach.

Leave your details below, and I’ll send you my tips for reclaiming your time!

How to Stay Healthy with the Holidays Quickly Approaching

It's easy to give up on the rest of the year right now. The semester is busy, final projects are due, and everyone seems to be exhausted.

• "Oh we only have a few months to go, might as well give in."

• "The holidays will be here before we know it."

• "It's gotten cold and all I want to do is hibernate."

• "I'll start a new diet in the new year."

Are you saying any of those thoughts to yourself right now?

You're not alone. It's common to do. But those thoughts can change.

Unintentional Model

Circumstance - The holiday season is approaching on the calendar.

Thought - Time is slipping away and I might as well give in.

Feeling - Dissatisfied

Actions - Eating extra cookies, avoiding getting on the scale, avoiding exercise, overdrinking

Result - Overindulging and giving in

The result of overindulging feeds right back into the thought of "Time is slipping away and I might as well continue to give in." It continues on until it's the new year and you're still feeling dissatisfied.

I used to be in this unintentional model too, especially with the stress of the academic semester. I thought I couldn't help it. I was giving in with everyone else. I could just keep repeating the same cycle.

But nine years ago, around this time, I reached Lifetime Status in Weight Watchers (WW). That means I was starting the journey of maintaining my weight (within 4 lbs of my obtained goal). It would have been easy to eat the holiday cookies and zone out. I could have patted myself on the back and said I'd get back to work in the new year. But I was on a mission to maintain my weight.

So I worked on my thoughts and created a different model.

Intentional Model

Circumstance - The holiday season is approaching on the calendar.

Thought - I am still going to maintain my weight and stick with my plan.

Feeling - Motivated

Actions - Looking up ways to eat healthy at parties, sticking to just one cookie, staying active in my workout plan.

Results - Maintaining my weight and sticking with my plan.

See how the very same circumstances existed in both models?

It was the thoughts that changed. Changing the thoughts then led to different feelings, different actions, and results that fed back into the thoughts. If you’re new to models, they were created by Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School.

The hard part about the end of the school year isn't that it simply exists.

We've told ourselves a story that it must be difficult and overwhelming. We encourage each other with this negative story. But it's just a story. We don't have to believe it.

You must know that's true because you're reading this post.

You're looking for ways to stay healthy this holiday season. Remember, it isn't just the action that leads to staying healthy. It's the thoughts you get to choose, that lead to feelings, and then the actions. If you don't believe something will work for you, you probably won't do it.

Positive Affirmations for this Holiday Season:

- I am a healthy person.

- I make healthy decisions.

- I feel clean and light when I stick to my plan.

- I enjoy finding healthy alternatives at holiday parties.

- I am choosing great options for myself.

- I want to feel good in both December and January.

- I can enjoy myself without eating everything at the party.

- I am enjoying the process of staying healthy.

- I enjoy taking care of my body.

- Every month out of the year counts, including the holidays.

Other Ways You Can Stay Healthy this Holiday Season:

• Spend time around other people who are choosing positive thoughts about the holiday season.

• Ask for others to join you in making healthy decisions.

• Remind yourself of the bigger picture. Why do you want to stay healthy in general?

Resources for Healthy Eating:

• Dr. Katrina Ubell's Free Resources

• CDC's 5 Healthy Eating Tips for the Holidays

• Real Simple's 9 Healthy Holiday-Eating Strategies

My Practical Strategies for Changing Your Money Mindset

For me, money seemed to be this ongoing, unresolved issue that hung over my head. I've lived most of my life thinking, "I don't have enough money and there will never be enough money." But as I’ve worked on my thoughts, I recognize that those are limiting beliefs. These thoughts are something I can change.

I also recognize I have a lot of privilege when it comes to money. The Global Rich List helps me put it all into perspective. It's really easy to perceive that everyone around us has more money than we do.

So this summer I decided to put my academic skills to work and research the topic. I wanted to share my process, so you can see if any of it appeals to you on your own money mindset journey.

First, I started with the books.

I had already read Suze Orman and Dave Ramsey in my early twenties. If you're not familiar with their work, it's a great place to start for the nuts and bolts of budgeting. But I needed something else. I didn't want to start with simple budgeting tools, I needed money mindset work.

What's a money mindset? It's the ideas that you carry around about money.

We all have them. By saying we want to learn, we can channel that growth mindset work (see Dr. Dweck’s work) and reshape our money mindsets.

Books I Recommend -

Jen Sincero's - You Are a Badass at Making Money. I was skeptical about this one. I thought Jen Sincero's original “You are a Badass” was okay and covered a lot of ground I had already read. But this one was amazing for me. My main takeaway was to embrace fear and take on those risks that seem to be calling your name.

Overcoming Underearning by Barbara Stanny (now Huson). This book is actually a wonderful workbook full of activities to take seriously. If you do the work, it's like hiring a money coach to walk you through uncovering what's inside your brain. I did the work and I'm so glad I did. A lot of our money issues stem from childhood, so uncovering those was really insightful for me. Returning to these exercises a second time this summer helped me see them in a new light.

Get Rich, Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas. Another helpful example of someone who turned their financial life around. She started with fewer resources than I  have and now makes seven-plus figures in her business. I am fascinated by other people's stories and how I can learn from them. She has great advice in this book.

Reading those books, I realized I needed more positive messages about money in my life. So I turned to a few podcasts too.

Personal Finance for PhDs by Dr. Emily Roberts. I may be biased since I was a guest on her show, but Emily has so many wonderful resources for academics concerned about their finances. We’re in a different situation than most and Emily is tuned into that because she has lived the life.

Be Wealthy and Smart with Linda P. Jones. - These are short podcasts that break down complicated topics into simple tips. I love how Linda makes it all very accessible.

Other Actions I Took -

Hiring an accountant. I always had thoughts in my head like:

• "Rich people are the only people who hire accountants."

• "You have to have a lot of money to hire someone to help you with your finances."

Those thoughts are self-limiting thoughts, I recognize that now. Someone recommended Kaylee Summyt to me and I can't sing her praises enough.

She held my hand through each getting started step, in a kind and non-judgmental way.

I upgraded my software with her help (from free Wave to Quickbooks). We streamlined my business expenses and invoices, preparing them each month. She also showed me exactly how much profit I make each month, instead of it being a hazy thought in my head. I thought I knew, but when you actually see the numbers in black and white, it makes all the difference. I wasn't ready to hire Kaylee during my first year of business, but now she is a critical asset as I continue to grow.

Kaylee also recommended Mint.com, which I had heard about, but ignored all these years.

I knew I needed to budget better, but it felt impossible to save every receipt, log it, and then add it up. I love Mint because it gathers all my family accounts in one spot and tracks the categories for me. How much did I spend on fast food, for real, last month? Mint tells me. It also helps me see the bigger picture with my net worth and paying off debt. Since I love statistics and graphs, it was a natural fit. I use it both on my phone and laptop.

Participating in a 30-day no spend challenge.

Kaylee hosted this one and it made such a difference. I like to stay “it stopped the hemorrhaging of money” from my budget. I realized that when I think I have a problem, one of my first go-to solutions was to buy something to fix it. “Oh I need a place to store these clothes, I could buy a clothes rack!” During the no spend challenge, I had to stop and say, “What’s an alternative to this?” I didn’t need a new clothes rack at all. I just needed to convert something I already had. The no spend challenge also helped me see that buying in bulk can backfire for me. When I have more food, I tend to eat more. I had to come to peace with knowing I could go buy more when I needed it.

Listening to money affirmation audio on YouTube.

It sounds a little strange until you consume a lot of money mindset content, but now I see how it works. I used to have a lot of negative thoughts about money. Listening to the affirmations gives me new phrases to use.

Some of my favorite money affirmations:

• I am worthy of great success.

• I clearly see opportunities to effortlessly make money.

• I am grateful for the wealth I have in my life.

• Money always flow to me easily.

• I know there is ample prosperity for all.

I tried to get a free, mini-support going this summer too. We were going to work through some of the Undercoming Underearning exercises together. There were several people interested, but our schedules didn't line up. So I stuck to the worksheets and readings on my own schedule. Support groups can be a great way to do the work together and it can’t hurt to try to put a group together.

Taking the time to do the work around my money mindsets continues to feel transformative.

I could have kept pushing it off, ignoring it, but it was time. If you're on your own money mindset journey, I hear you! Now, when I run into a big money block, I stop. I recognize it. I talk to a coach about the issue if I can't see solutions myself. We identify why my mind wants to think the negative thoughts and ways to change the thoughts. I still have a long way to go on my money mindsets, but that is part of the journey.

(The above post references an opinion and is for information purposes only.  It is not intended to be investment or financial advice. Seek a licensed professional for investment and financial advice.)

How to Succeed on the Academic Job Market This Year

Are you on the academic job market this season? You're searching for tips and tricks to succeed on the market, that's how you landed on this page.

And you want some reassurance that you're not the only one on this journey. You've come to the right place.

I am a full-time, waiting to hear on tenure, assistant professor of psychology. My institution is a small, liberal arts Catholic university. I transitioned immediately from my doctoral program to teaching here full-time. Even six years ago, it seemed like a miracle that I did not have to complete a postdoc first. Many of my colleagues starting at the same time did complete postdocs. Or they were transitioning from visiting professor positions. I have served on hiring committees within my institution in the past few years.

That's my background, but let's talk about you. You're wondering how you can succeed on the academic job market.

First, I recommend reading resources about how to write the documents.

There's the cover letter. The teaching statement or teaching philosophy. The research philosophy or research statement. Sometimes institutions also request written statements about their mission or values. Understanding the nuts and bolts of writing each document is crucial for success.

But the hard part isn't the physical writing. You've been writing for decades at this point. You know how to put sentences together.

The hard part is dealing with all the emotions that get tied up in writing. I remember agonizing over my own documents. My writing was fine. The agony came from all the thoughts about the documents:

• "I'm not good enough."

• "Why would anyone want to hire me?"

• "No one is going to want to hire me."

• "I should have published more."

• "What if they judge me for phrasing it this way?"

• "I am a horrible writer after all."

• "I should have gone after more grants or funding."

• "Who came up with the word pedagogy anyways? Let me Google that and fall down a rabbit hole of searching."

Those thoughts would cycle around in loops in my head. The key to breaking through the thought patterns was to catch myself in the pattern. And then reach out for help to trusted resources.

Friends who are also on the job market can be a great source of comfort. Graduate advisors and mentors can give helpful support. Therapists and counselors can help you process your thoughts and beliefs.

As an academic coach, I help my clients on the job market on several fronts:

• First, we make sure they have built in the time on their schedule to actually write the document.

• Then, we strategize about how to stick to the schedule instead of ignoring it.

• We talk about barriers that might get in the way and how to overcome them. Procrastination isn't isolated to our students!

• We talk about the things that are not obvious to outsiders. For example, a job posting may seem broad and open to any qualified candidate. But a little research can lead to understanding what the department actually wants.

• I read over documents to help edit and make suggestions.

• I cheer them on as their determination and resolve starts to waver. It's a journey and they need support at time points along the way.

Best of luck on your job search! I’m here to help. In the meantime, check out my tips for reclaiming your time.

List your tips and tricks below in the comments so others can learn from your experiences!

Psychological Super Powers: 3 Steps to Focus Like an Expert

Are you struggling to write that academic manuscript, get it published, finish your dissertation, and you just feel like you need to focus? You're not alone and today we're going to talk about three tips to help you focus like an expert.

My name is Caitlin Faas and I'm a psychology professor and coach, whose expertise has been built in child and adolescent development and earning that Ph.D. But now I'm building expertise in becoming a really great coach and helping busy professionals be their best selves on their academic path. I'll give you examples from both, as we talk about these three steps.

1. Practice, practice, practice

The first step to focusing like an expert, you're not going to want to hear this, but it's all about putting in the hours. Cal Newport talks about this, with Deep Work, and Malcolm Gladwell talks about this with 10,000 hours, but the idea is to really focus and practice deliberately so that you can gain expertise.

My example is that when I was learning statistics, I spent hours in front of my computer, searching discussion forums, I would ask other people that I knew who were experts, I checked out it seemed like every book from the library about statistics and structural equation modeling (SEM). And so I spent the hours and it wasn't glamorous, it was really tedious, but now it has a big payoff when people ask me, "How do you know about statistics?" or, "How are you able to just think of that phrase or think of that answer?"" I can say, "I put in the hours."

2. Reject distractions

The second step to focusing like an expert is to say no to distractions in an active and passionate way. One of the keys to this is to make sure that you have a clear vision for the future and the thing you want to accomplish. Completing your Ph.D. or writing that manuscript, you have this vision that you want to accomplish it and it feels clear. Then everything else that doesn't relate to that needs to be something that you say no to. It could be tempting to write that grant proposal or write a different paper that isn't keeping you focused on your current paper that you want to publish.

For me, actually taking the statistics example that I used before, if I kept learning statistics and just continued to go to classes and workshops, that would actually be a distraction from what I'm trying to do now, which is share the knowledge that I have about statistics with people like you.

Because my goal is teaching, sharing knowledge, and being a speaker, that's where I need to keep my focus. It seems like a really easy distraction to just keep learning. And so sometimes you can say, "Oh, yeah. Netflix is a distraction for me." Well, right, that is something that you could say no to maybe more easily, like you know you should say no to Netflix.

But look for the distractions like learning more information, that's actually something you also need to say no to right now so that you can be an expert for the vision that you have.

3. Delegate your weaknesses

The third step we want to recommend for focusing like an expert is to actually delegate your weaknesses. You don't have to be an expert in everything, you want to be an expert in a few things and to focus on that.

Something that I delegate is my website design and the graphics that are created for my website. It's not something I'm interested in learning how to do and the people I have that work on my team are excellent at it. I'm happy to support them in their business endeavors. That's something that I delegate, but it's something that I get a lot of compliments about and I always make sure I say, "Oh, that's not something that I did myself. I hired people to do that." By doing something like delegating a weakness, I'm still able to build something that's part of my vision and my platform for speaking and teaching and coaching and consulting.

In conclusion, you don't have to be an expert to act like an expert, for whatever vision you have for your future.

If you need help working on these steps, we have a worksheet that will help guide you on how am I going to focus on these three steps and work towards my vision. So be sure to download that and reach out and tell us what you're working on.

Psychological Super Powers: How to Convince Your Brain to Commit

Do you wonder if you have what it takes to create a business and stick with it? Or write that academic manuscript and get it published? How can you convince your brain to commit? You're not alone in these thoughts, and that's what we're going to talk about today in the Psychological Super Powers Series.

I want to talk about the psychological principle of the sunk-cost fallacy. It's going to relate back to how you can convince your brain.

What is the sunk-cost fallacy?

An easy example to think about this is any time you've purchased a non-refundable ticket to something, and then maybe you've gotten sick or you couldn't go any more to the event that you had planned. And when you can't go, you're actually, "You know, maybe I will go, even if I'm really sick. Maybe I have the flu, and I think having the flu would be okay if I actually went to that concert or took that vacation or went to that event."

It's the sunk-cost fallacy because what we don't think about is, we would actually be better off staying home, recovering from the flu or whatever illness you're struggling with. And because that ticket was non-refundable, we can't get our money back.

Sunk cost and your brain

So why do we hang onto commitments or things that we don't want to stick out? Cognitive psychologists call this sunk-cost, because the cost is gone and yet we are so loss-averse as humans that we can't help but think about, try to strategize about ways to kind of make it all better. The way you can use this to make your brain commit is actually to make things be a sunk cost.

Sunk costs hold you accountable

When I first started my coaching business, I could have just said, "I'm doing this thing. I have this goal," and then not tell anybody, right? And then I would've just faded away and I wouldn't have had any sunk costs because nobody was really keeping me accountable. But instead, I really invested in it and took the time to make sure that I was going to commit.

So my co-creator on this series, Amanda Crowell and I, we realized we had met each other at a conference and we were both coaching, and we decided we needed to be accountability partners. We started a mastermind group with other women so we could make sure that we had monthly check-ins and more frequent check-ins. We also made sure that we hired a coach ourselves. So hiring a coach is somebody who can really help you stay accountable, right? That's part of why we know it works and why we help others as coaches. And so hiring somebody really made a difference. It became something I was invested in, and any kind of community that you can gather around this idea and this business that you're trying to grow.

So who's your community? Who can you reach out to and ask about, "Can you help me stay accountable?"

All of these things work for really making sure that you're invested and you're committed.

And so of course, those are just a couple ideas, but Amanda and I have created a worksheet for you to download that gives you 15 ways that you can commit, convince your brain, be invested, so that you technically fall for the sunk-cost fallacy. We're going to use it to our advantage this time.

But remember, if you do this, then you're going to be invested and you're going to be committed. So make sure it's something that you really want to do!

Psychological Super Powers: How to Do Something New When You're Scared

Have you ever had something where your first reaction is, "Oh, that's something new. I don't want to try it. I'm too scared. I already have a lot of fear about something." So today's example, I'm going to be talking about starting a business and how I made that happen.

This is one of those things that a lot of people say, "If I start a successful business, I'm going to have to quit my job tomorrow." Our brain just goes there, so the psychological super power we'll be talking about is how to do something new when you're feeling scared. I'll share part of my story to help you with trying something new yourself, today.

Become comfortable with uncertainty

My example is that three years ago, I didn't even know what a coach was. I think a student mentioned it to me, and I thought, "What? What are you talking about?" Then later, my sister told me about her corporate coach at work, and all these pieces started to come together, that coaching was an option, something that was very different from being a practitioner or a therapist, which had been something I'd never been interested in.

All these pieces started to emerge for me. Now, I have a coaching practice and I have a steady stream of clients. Two years ago, I wouldn't have even guessed that this would be something that would be so enjoyable for me and something I continue to do.

Any time we're starting something new, our brain stops us and says, "This is uncertain. I am not comfortable with uncertainty. I want you to walk away from this option and this opportunity." For starting a business, becoming comfortable with uncertainty is one of the first crucial pieces that we need to think about.

Say yes to as many things as possible

In the beginning, I want you to think about being opportunistic and just trying as many things as possible. What are you interested in? What can you do to develop a business? Is it coaching? Is it something else? If you can say yes to as many things as possible in the beginning, then things can start to fall into place for you.

For me, when I was finishing my coaching training and I was looking for that first client, I was trying all these different things.

I didn't know what was going to work out. When I let go of the expectation and just tried everything, there was my first client, waiting for me.

Be open to productive failure

The second thing that can really help is being open to failure. If you're an over-achiever like myself, being open to failure sounds like a red alert, something to avoid.

There's actually two types of failure. There's defensive failure and productive failure. Defensive failure, we don't really learn anything from it. We don't really have any insights. Productive failure, we fail at something and then we're able to see what the lesson was and pick back up with next steps, to continue progress.

When I talk about my journey from becoming a coach and I didn't have any clients, I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't know how to start a business, and then I tell you that I have a thriving coaching practice now, right? That all the steps in between, I can tell you one path about how I succeeded, and what steps I took to be successful, but what we don't usually share are all the ways I failed along the way, too. Trying to make that productive failure is really crucial.

Set small goals

The third thing is actually about thinking about your goals, but not in the way you think. When we're doing something new, it's actually really easy to get overwhelmed with, "What should I be doing in a year? What should I be doing in five years?" Often, we don't know, right? When something's new, we're not sure where it's going to take us.

Can you think of, "What are some steps I can do to start a business or start a side hustle today? This week? What do I want to do in the next month? What's actually feasible with my schedule?" Then think about 90 days. What does 90 days look like for the next three months?

For me, with my own business, I know what the next three months look like and I have goals for the year, because I'm further along. I'm a couple years into the process now. I can't tell you where this will take me in five years, right? I'll probably look back on this video and say, "Oh yeah, that's where I was with this." When you're new, don't get overwhelmed with where you're going to be in two years, because again, I certainly couldn't have told you where I'd be -- Here today.

All that being said, we have a worksheet to help you walk through your steps. Just download it below and that'll get you started. I'd love to talk about this with you further, especially if you have any questions. I actually made this video because so many people reach out to me privately, because they ask about, "How did you get started," and, "What were the first steps?" So, happy to talk about it with you!

Psychological Super Powers: How to Create Luck

Doesn't it seem like everybody is talking about luck and being lucky? They're talking about the law of attraction. Have you seen that movie, "The Secret"? Whether or not you believe in universal energy patterns and have different spiritual beliefs, we're going to talk about the psychological underpinnings of luck today and how you can harness that in your own life.

My name is Caitlin Faas and I'm a psychology professor and coach and I know I use this in my life when I think about my career and I look back on the last ten years. I often say to people, "I was lucky to have this experience. I met this person at the exact right time for me." What I know is that I set that intention, even if it wasn't clear at the time, hindsight is always 20/20, but I was using a psychological principle called priming.

What is priming?

Priming is pretty magical because it's something in our brain that works through our implicit memory system. So it's not really conscious to us. You experience this every day, all the time.

Maybe a friend mentions a movie to you and you hear the name and you say okay. You don't really actively think about it, but then a week goes by and you start to notice all these things, like there's an advertisement for the movie and another friend asks you about the movie and then you see it in a magazine. All these things start to add up. What's happening behind the scenes is that your brain is watching and scanning your environment all the time for things that you've been primed for. Advertisers are really great at using this.

 How can you introduce priming in your life and harness the power?

1. Introduce the idea to your brain

First, we want to make sure that you introduce the idea to your brain. Are you kind of swirling around with unclear thoughts about what you actually want? Narrow it down, write it down and get intentional about that list. When I was working on my dissertation proposal I went through pages and pages of trying to narrow down my idea. "I think it's this. No, I think it's this. Let me narrow it down to this category." I was constantly reiterating, "Okay, can I get to this place, to this particular idea."

2. Introduce the idea to everyone else

The second way to activate priming is then to introduce the idea to everyone else in your life. This can be really scary. It feels like there's going to be judgment about your statement or "I'm putting this into the world, how will people react?" but once you start to tell other people about your idea then they'll be able to help you. They'll be primed and they'll want to help you develop that idea, whatever it might be.

My dissertation proposal, when I landed on that third proposal idea ... I'm pretty sure it went to three rounds ... when I landed on that third idea, I was then able to tell the world, "I'm studying college students that drop out. Do you know anyone?" and people responded to me. They knew people who had dropped out of college. I was connected to admissions counselors and other people at universities about this issue. It became something iterative because I shared it with the world.

You can prime your brain and you can prime others but the third thing we want to make sure you know is that you also need to make your own luck and take the steps necessary to do the work for what you're excited about. This year for example, I am working on speaking engagements and being in front of more crowds and on more stages, so I have a very specific goal for that. I'm telling others. I'm telling you right now.

You know anyone who needs an inspirational speaker?

I'm also taking actions to be a better speaker and engage with people, meet new people. Little things start to add up and all of a sudden I'm making my own luck and doing the hard work necessary to make that happen.

If you want to work on these things yourself, we have a worksheet that goes with this video to talk about the steps, walking you through how can you use priming to your advantage. Sometimes it can seem things like the law of attraction is too good to be true or serendipity and luck but this worksheet will break it down with scientific, concrete principles to help you move forward.

We'd love to hear from you, keep us posted on what's bringing you luck this month.

Psychological Super Powers: How to Make the Most of Networking

Do you groan when you hear the word networking?

You're not alone in that. A lot of my colleagues, when we're at conferences together, kind of do the duck and, "Don't look. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. I don't want anything to do with this corporate networking world. Avoid." But today, in our Psychological Super Powers series, we're going to talk about networking, and how you can make the most of it.

Caitlin Faas, Psychology Professor and Coach, talking about networking with you today. So let's talk, first, about what happens when you walk into a room to network. First, we walk in and we immediately start scanning and judging the room. We start looking at people, noticing things about them. Often, I'll look at outfits, or think about what people are wearing, who might look friendly, and we start to make all these snap judgments, because our brain is actually trained to do that.

1. Overcome first impressions

We are trained to make first impressions. It's automatic for us. We are trying to jump to conclusions and not really think about it systematically. So, you'd think that we'd systematically go through an algorithm, and kind of add things up, make judgments based on reasonable conclusions, but we're not. That's not what we're doing in this situation.

So, cognitively, we jump to conclusions about the people that we see, and often, it's not positive for us. We notice somebody's outfit and say like, "They're better dressed than I am." We start to say thing about, "They're probably not going to talk to me." It happens back-to-back-to-back in our head. So, thinking about how can we walk into the room and kind of have that inner voice paused and say, "Okay, wait a minute. Stop. What's going on here?"

We talk about this more in the worksheet, so that's the first point, thinking about the room and what's happening when we walk into a room, and how we're automatically going to make judgments.

2. Know that you can succeed

The second thing that happens at networking events is that our brain tells us, "This is a risk. Exit. Get out of here. You're out of your comfort zone," and we immediately start to kind of shut down and not know what to do, but it's also starting to think about, "What's the worst that could happen in here?"

I can start to say things to myself like, "I'm not good enough," or, "These people are better than me," but stopping that internal dialogue, again, to say, "This is not a risky situation. I can succeed in this situation. I can make the most of this," and it keeps us from starting to swim in the land of the middle school lunch table scene, right? It's very similar to what happened in middle school. So kind of reminding ourselves, we conquered the middle school lunch table scene. We also will conquer this networking event.

3. Generate creativity

The third reason we want you to think about networking today, and how to make the most of it, is that networking is actually what leads to innovation and creativity.

We know that from research, it's our weak ties that are going to bind us together. There's a lot of great work about this. If you've ready Sandy Pentland's Social Physics, or Adam Grant's Give and Take, a lot of innovative ideas and a lot of connections happen through networking, so reminding yourself of that can be important.

So, the person I'm doing this series with, Amanda Crowell, the cognitive psychologist, this is our joint series, we actually met at a conference in 2012, and it was one of those situations where we were at each other's posters, and we could have diverted and said, "No, I'm not going to engage. No, I'm going to go back to my room and not talk to people," but it turned into something where we were at each other's posters. We decided to go to lunch together that day. We became friends on Facebook.

Years went by. We didn't necessarily engage with each other that whole time, but now, we've evolved into a partnership where we're making a series like this together, and it was all through just that one instance, making sure we went to lunch together that day. So, inspiration for your networking event.

In conclusion, we want you to remember that networking is really important. We are social beings who are wired to connect with each other and to learn from each other, so use that as inspiration.

We have a three-part guide for you about how you can make the most out of your next networking event. It gives a lot of tips, and is something you can print out to remind yourself.

So, download that worksheet, and let's talk about it.