Stop Believing You're Not Good Enough To Be A Professor

Tell me if this is you sometimes:

• I really don’t think I’m good enough to be a professor.

• I don’t really deserve this job.

• It was kind of a fluke that I got that grant.

• No one should read my book.

• *insert any other thought you have pertaining to why you might not be good enough*

I hear this from my clients all the time. As a certified life and weight coach for professors, I help professors reclaim five hours of their week, every week for themselves. And one of the ways you're not saving time right now is by telling yourself these stories about your work. Because you start believing these stories, that you’re not good enough. 

And you might even try to gather evidence to support these beliefs. 

Like, “I don’t really deserve this job; they just felt bad for me.”

“I’m not really good enough to be a professor; my students are just being nice to me.”

“No one should read my book; they published it because there were no other options.”

All of these reasons start to build and build and they become your reality.

But what I want you to do to combat this is simple.

I want you to write down the story you are telling yourself.

Write down what it is that you believe, and then write down WHY it is you believe that. 

Because then you might start to see that what you’re telling yourself to believe is actually imaginary and not true.

This is the work that I do with my clients. They bring me this long list of reasons why they think they’re not good enough, and I show them why it might not be true. I show all the reasons they are good enough to be a professor, why people do want to read their book, why they do deserve the grant, etc.

When someone comes along and gives you perspective on the reasons you are good enough, it changes your thinking. You think, well if this person believes this, then maybe I can believe it too. If they say I can handle this, maybe I can handle it. If they say I am doing great work, maybe I am and should be proud of what I am doing.

And you might not think that this actually is affecting you time-wise, but what happens when you believe these negative and false beliefs? When that judging voice pops up in your head saying you’re not good enough, or no one wants to read your work, or no one likes you? You probably get down on yourself and don’t do the work that you are setting out to do.

But when you recognize it and realize it is just not true, then you’re able to do the work you need to do. You can choose your thoughts differently around it and change the version of what you are telling yourself.

The next time you find yourself having these negative thoughts, take a moment and reassess what it is you are thinking and if it is true. You will find by reframing your thoughts you are able to have more confidence in your abilities while also saving time in the process.

How I Used Powerpoint to Squash My Fear of Public Speaking (and Tips to Help You Squash Your Fears, Too!)

Guest Post By Echo Rivera, PhD 

Echorivera.com / stellarslides.com / Twitter / YouTube / LinkedIn

I got no sleep the night before. I couldn’t eat breakfast. I had a lingering feeling of wanting to throw up. I was sweating. I was shaking. I hated everything and questioned whether a bachelor's degree was really worth all this trouble. 

No, this wasn’t me before taking a final. This was me before giving a 10 minute class presentation to 25 of my fellow undergrad students who weren’t even paying attention to me.

Can you relate? Do you have, or have you ever had, major anxiety over public speaking? 

We all have different paths that led us to this point. For some, this fear has always been there. For others, it’s because of a negative experience that we can’t quite seem to shake because we feel so much shame about it (hi, that’s me). Either way, once we end up with these overwhelming negative emotions about public speaking, it can sometimes feel like it’s impossible to overcome it. 

Now here’s the hard part: once you get to this point, if you don’t actively work on addressing those emotions, you will be stuck in a perpetual loop of anxiety and fear over public speaking. 

The biggest mistake you can make at this point is hoping that you’ll overcome your fears and anxieties over time. A lot of people believe they can overcome their fear or anxiety about public speaking simply by doing more presentations. This rarely works. More likely than not, procrastination anxiety will take over and create perpetual negative loops that will trap you in this mindset. 

Procrastination anxiety will make you procrastinate on your presentation (duh, I know). When you procrastinate on your presentation for too long (which many people who fear public speaking do), then you leave yourself with only enough time to create a #DeathByPowerpoint presentation. Because of that, while giving your presentation you’ll see an audience that is disengaged, confused, or not enjoying your talk. This will further validate your negative emotions about the entire experience, which will increase your procrastination anxiety for next time. If you also end up with negative feedback about your slides or public speaking skills, these emotions will be even further reinforced and even harder to break with each cycle you go through. 

So, without actively breaking the cycle of negative emotions I mentioned above, each presentation will only reinforce that loop. If you want to break it -- if you want to overcome your public speaking anxiety -- then you have to be proactive about it.

Here is how I recommend you begin working on this issue. It’s a combination of what I did that worked for me (and generally works for others), as well as new lessons I learned along the way. 

Warning -- these tips are things like “do a power pose” or “be yourself.” I drew a comic about the public speaking “tips” that I find bothersome, because they don’t address the root problems of this issue/

1. End your presentation procrastination (and address your procrastination anxiety)

The first bad habit to break is your procrastination and is a must. No one can create an amazing presentation from scratch in just a couple days, so you have to start here. This video about procrastination anxiety may be particularly helpful. You may also need to work through the shame you might be feeling as a result of previous negative experiences and recognize self-sabotaging thoughts you may be having. 

Once you start to deal with those emotions, it’s time to get serious about starting earlier and earlier when you have an upcoming presentation. I shocked many of my viewers by revealing my own workflow and timeline for working on presentations. But this workflow and timeline is a direct result of how I overcome my own fears of public speaking, and will be particularly helpful if you also have fears/anxieties about giving presentations. 

2. Create a script and practice it 

I also shocked a lot of academics by revealing that I recommend everyone creates a script for their presentations. Most people are convinced that the worst presenters--the ones who sound like robots--are those who use a script. Not true. A script is your most valuable resource for creating an effective and engaging presentation. 

Even people who love public speaking should create a script, because people who love public speaking often go on tangents or are disorganized (because they’re “winging it”), which often makes them hard to follow. 

But people who have public speaking anxieties? A script (and practicing it!) is the #1 most effective strategy that helped me overcome my negative emotions about speaking. I cannot emphasize this enough--if I didn’t get into the habit of scripting my talks, I don’t think I would have ever overcome my fears.

I was excessive about it at first. I literally memorized every single word (remember though: this was for short class presentations, not 60-min talks). I practiced it until I nailed my dramatic pauses, had varying intonations, and my hand gestures were on point. This took a ridiculous amount of time and was completely unsustainable. So by the time I went to grad school, I started tweaking this process and now have it finely tuned so it’s easy to fit into my schedule and is practical for 60 minute or longer presentations. 

3. Create Well-designed, Visually Engaging Slides

Okay, so you’ve started working on your presentation early and you have a great script. Now what? 

The surprising answer is that it’s time to pivot to your slide design skills. 

Beyond my excessive scripting and practicing habits, the other way I overcame my fear of public speaking is by creating engaging and memorable presentation slides. Although I recommend PowerPoint for slide presentations because it has so many great features, you can create slides with Keynote or Google Slides too. 

If you’re like most academics I’ve worked with, you’ve probably been trying to improve your slide design for a while, but it takes way too long or never seems to make the impact you want. That’s because there are tons of myths out there about what being an effective presenter even means and myths about how to design slides effective for an academic audience. Plus we all have picked up some bad presentation habits along the way. You’ll need to unlearn those myths and address those bad habits to design great slides, and I have a FREE online course about these myths and bad habits. It’s called #StellarSlidesin5 and you can start today by signing up here. 

It’s kind of funny how I figured this out. Part of the reason I was so terrified of public speaking was that the idea of people looking at me made me nervous. My solution was to create slides that were so fun, unique, and visual that no one would look at me--they would look at the slides instead. 

And, it mostly worked! Most people watched my slides instead of me. Success! Except...then something happened that I never saw coming. 

4. Remember that Change Doesn’t Happen in One Presentation; Allow Positive Feedback to Build Your Confidence Over Time! 

The combination of having a perfectly rehearsed script plus creative slides resulted in the final element that helped me fully overcome my fear: positive feedback. My fellow undergrads would come up to me and tell me things like, “WOW! You’re such a good presenter!” and “Your presentation was awesome!” 

At first, I was embarrassed because I was convinced they were messing with me. I thought I did so bad that they felt sorry for me and were just trying to make me feel better. I dismissed the high grades and positive comments from my professors as being something that “everyone probably got because it’s probably just an easy assignment anyway.” 

I went on like that--dismissing any/all positive feedback--until I made it into graduate school. That’s, like, 4 years of dismissing positive feedback. And even in grad school, I was weary of positive feedback, but started to become open to it. I didn’t fully acknowledge that I created effective and engaging presentations until after I earned my master’s degree. 

I’m sharing this for two reasons: 

1. It will take time for you to build your confidence in public speaking. If you don’t suddenly feel better about public speaking, don’t give up. Assume that you’re in it for the long haul and trust the process. 

2. Believe people when they tell you your presentation was great! Don’t be like me. Don’t dismiss it. 

After you’ve worked on #1-3 and you start getting positive feedback from your audience (because you WILL), then take it to heart. Let it feed into your confidence, but also remember that it may take some time for this to happen. Once you start getting positive feedback -- or even just notice a more engaged audience -- let it serve as a deterrent for all those negative emotions about public speaking that you’ve accumulated over the years. Let it help end your procrastination anxiety. 

And who knows: The (currently) unimaginable might happen: You may actually start to enjoy creating and delivering presentations. Yup. I know. It seems impossible, but several people who have taken my presentation design course have experienced this transformation! And I now do public speaking for a living! 

5. (BONUS) Learn improv skills 

When I mentioned my fear of public speaking to others the only recommendation they had was to sign up for Toastmasters. For me, that was literally the stuff of nightmares and I was not interested at all. I imagine that if I had followed that advice, my path towards overcoming my fear of public speaking would not have taken so long. So, although I can’t speak to a personal experience with improv skill development, I know it’s a valuable skill to have and it’s worked for others. If it doesn’t terrify you like it did me (or your braver than I am), then I highly recommend you try it!

You Can Do This! 

Hopefully this post was helpful and provided some new ideas for overcoming your fear of public speaking. For what it’s worth, you definitely aren’t alone in having these fears and I know that you can overcome it! 

With joy,Echo

P.s. If you’d like to create better presentations, get started with my free course #StellarSlidesin5. 

Bio: Dr. Echo Rivera helps academics, researchers, consultants and evaluators communicate more effectively and creatively. She has a PhD in Community Psychology, and after about 14 years of working in the social science research and program evaluation fields, Echo became a freelance communications consultant. She is on a mission to end #DeathByPowerpoint in our course lectures, conference presentations, and other educational settings. What she does goes beyond just graphic design. She works specifically with people who want to present their data in ways that increase the likelihood the audience will pay attention to, understand, remember, and use the information.

How Lifestyle Transformation Is An Achievable Goal For Academics

Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

The use of leadership coaches has become an acknowledged and widespread practice in corporations, non-profit organizations, even governments, and the reasons vary.

When individuals work with leadership or life coaches, they start to experience higher levels of effectiveness at work and at home, with improvements in both their task and relationship orientation. At the same time, organizations discover that they are more productive when they hire life coaches because they experience a higher return on investment.  

As a parallel, employing coaches in academic life or the use of any kind of systematic organizational development is basically uncharted inside the university world.  With the higher demand for notable change that universities are now facing, in economical and technological areas, there are good reasons to believe that things are about to change.  

While universities and colleges accept the fact that changes are enveloping them, individual staff, such as professors, and administrators should consider turning to a personal coach. Why? Because doing so can boost their advance both in their careers and their lives.

Coaching - It’s Not What You Think

Those who are unfamiliar with coaching tend to believe that coaching is a form of consulting, mentoring, or just advice-giving. At its core, coaching is a form of one-on-one analysis and examination in which the client is guided by the coaches. This process consists of closely listening and asking pertinent questions in ways that help the client identify and overcome obstacles and then come up with courses of action and implement them.  

A life coach focuses on supporting only the client’s agenda, starting wherever they are at that point. The right coach enters the engagement without stereotypes or some ideal sense of the right goals for their clients. In this way, the client is able to safely explore their authentic path, style, and career in a safe manner, finding a supportive environment in life coaching.

Photo by Geraldine Lewa on Unsplash

Five Occasions Coaching Can Be Helpful In Your Academic Career

When compared to other kinds of organizational development interventions, such as training and team building, coaching is especially better suited for the highly competitive and individualistic nature of academia. The privacy of the coaching collaboration enables a safe haven for sharing hopes and concerns, successes and breakdowns, as well as possibilities and aspirations, without any judgment.

Let’s have a look at five situations in an academic career when hiring a coach might be beneficial to a scholar:

• You’re thinking about becoming an academic 

Obtaining your Ph.D. or some other terminal graduate degree is a considerable commitment, and academic life is not suitable for everyone. Hiring a life coach at the beginning of the academic journey can both save you from a probably costly and emotionally consuming decision and start with clear, precise, and realistic expectations, intentions, and aspirations.

• You’ve taken your first academic job 

Congratulations are in order if you’re a fresh assistant professor and you’re eager to begin on your teaching and research, but you may have already found out that the long road to tenure is paved with difficult decisions. And even though your dean, department head, and esteemed colleagues will provide you with much advice,  how can you maximize your possibilities of succeeding and still remain authentic to your original aspirations and intentions?  

Hiring a life coach at this stage in your career gives you a prudent method of analyzing your challenges and opportunities with a person who has only your interest at heart. 

• You’ve been promoted or received tenure (or denied promotion or tenure)  

The career path of a professor has three major phases, and each promotion can be a considerable life alteration.  The switch from assistant to associate professor is usually followed by tenure, and the point in career when you get tenure can be confusing.  

You start wondering if you should continue on the same trajectory or whether it's time to think about an administrative role. These are just a few of the questions that demand answers when receiving tenure, and a life coach plays a decisive role in finding those pertinent to your circumstances, helping to find your own answers.  

Denial of tenure is a difficult time, and many universities provide little or no support whatsoever.  But a life coach can guide you to be able to look at the event from a proper perspective and identify the path aligned with where you are now.  Denial of promotion to full professor position is another tough case, and the right coach can be especially helpful in analyzing perspective and figuring out the next steps.

• You’ve taken a new administrative post

Shifting from teaching to an administrative position can be quite demanding in your system, and even going up in the ranks from head of department to  dean position can be challenging as each new post is filled with different tasks from the one vacated.  

Administrative entries and promotions are convenient times to find a life coach to guide you through the challenges of a new posting and to prepare you for consecutive advancement by enhancing the skills and evolving in ways that are according to the new post and the next.

• You’re preparing to leave the university  

Maybe you’ve decided it’s about time to go to the next level, perhaps start a company, become a consultant, take a job in the private sector, or retire.  These progressions are excellent to ask good questions and follow a coach’s guidance to help you draw out the best in what comes next.

These five occasions are great ones to consider finding and using the expertise of a life coach.  The next part lays out a number of open-ended questions to guide you in the quest for your coach.

Finding Your Coach

So perhaps you find yourself in an academic transition when a coach might be useful to you. How do you find the right coach that would be aligned with your needs? 

The following questions will guide you through what to take into consideration when hiring a coach:

• What kind of training and qualifications does this person offer to their coaching?

• In what way does this person have academic experience and understand academic culture?

• How can this potential coach be curious about you, your obstacles, your opportunities and in what way do they appear to have a method or an answer?

• How comfortable do you feel with the potential coach, and how hard is it to share private information with him or her?

• Do you feel that this coach asks questions that engages your reflection and are both compelling and interesting to answer?

• Do you feel that the coach seems to listen to you and understand you through that listening?

While each academic has unique circumstances that lead them to hire a life coach, these are the most common occasions. 

If you find yourself in any of these situations and you are interested in boosting your academic career, don’t hesitate to contact me to discover the next step in reaching your personal and professional goals.

Or, get to know me better (and take the first steps towards achieving your goals) by learning how to stop procrastinating through self-coaching. Use the form below to get access to my tips for reclaiming your time!

Why overworking does not make you more productive

We all tend to get trapped in negative beliefs that sound something like this:

• If I put in more hours, I'll be more productive.

• I'm successful because I put in 50+ hours per week at work.

• If I had more time, I'd get more work done.

But these thoughts often lead us to results we don't actually want.

Here's an example:

Circumstance - Your calendar for the month

Thought - If I had more time, I'd get more work done.

Feeling - Frustrated

Actions - Reading blog posts like this one, looking for more time, avoiding actual work to find more time

Result - No time to get more work done.

The thought led to the result in this model.

Your calendar is neutral.

You choose to think thoughts about it. And in this case, it wasn't a helpful thought. It didn't lead to any more time or any more work getting done.

The thoughts that lead us to overwork are sneaky like that. It seems like a helpful thought until you actually live it.

Here's a different thought that completely changes that model:

Circumstance - Your calendar for the month

Thought - I can plan out my work time efficiently.

Feeling - Motivated

Actions - Blocking out time on the calendar, reflecting on time needed for each task, blocking out time for interruptions and surprises

Result - Planned out work time for efficiency.

See how different that model turns out because of a different thought?

If you're interested in learning more about models, please check out The Life Coach School.

I can hear you now. You're saying, "But Caitlin, you don't understand. I HAVE to work 50+ hours in my job. I just have to."

As a life coach, my job is to hold space for you and stay out of your thought swimming pool.

You tell me that you have to work 50+ hours, but I don't believe you until you show me evidence.

It's more likely a thought you're choosing to think.

Why are you choosing to think that you have to work 50+ hours per week?

By working together, we can examine your beliefs up close. We'll separate those thoughts out from the circumstances and work towards purposeful productivity.

For now, let's look at some common behaviors that occur during our work time.

First, are you reading this post when you say you're supposed to be working?

Letting yourself get caught up in distractions is so easy to do.

It's easy to respond to the pings and notifications that show up in our lives.

It's easy to do anything else other than the actual work we're supposed to be doing.

We have to create environments for ourselves where there aren't temptations.

Think about it this way. If you were on a mission to not eat sugar, would you stock your pantry full of sweets? Nope. You'd remove all the sugar opportunities that you could.

The same thing needs to happen with overworking.

Remove the temptations to distract yourself.

• Hide your phone or or put it in Do Not Disturb mode.

• Download a browser extension that doesn't let you browse the internet. I like StayFocusd for Chrome.

• Keep your office door closed or create a distraction free zone in your cubicle.

• Tell others you will be available during certain time frames and only those time frames.

• Keep your email closed, except during scheduled times to read and respond.

See this article for help in setting boundaries with your boss.

You've probably heard these tips before. But are you actually implementing them?

Next, I recommend tracking times you are working.

And this isn't just "Oh yeah, 9-5 each day." Don't give me the, "Yeah, I tried that once. Meh." Be very specific:

• What time of day is it?

• What was the task?

• How long did it take?

• Did you get interrupted? Why?

Creating that simple log will give you a lot of amazing data to look back on in one day and one week.

You'll be able to identify what's going well and what isn't. It won't be vague anymore. It will be specific.

Create the list of results you want, instead of hours you want to work.

If you give yourself 8 hours to write that report, guess how long it will take?

8 hours, maybe 10-12 if you choose thoughts to overwork.

Instead, I recommend creating a result like, "Report written and submitted to boss." Put it on your calendar with a specific time frame.

Refer back to some of your time tracking data if you have it. How long has it taken you to write reports like this in the past?

Stick to the plan you create. You must write that report in the time given.

Choose thoughts like:

• I can do my work in exactly the time I've allowed myself.

• Focusing now on my work will pay off in the future.

• I'm a person who sticks to my plan.

• I know I can get this report done in the time I've allowed.

• I'm committed to this plan I've created.

Then you'll end up with a report written in exactly the time you've allowed. Instead of overworking and being exhausted at the end of the process.

Ready to take the next step toward achieving your goals? Check out my tips for reclaiming your time with the form below!

How to get your boss to respect your boundaries

Are you working for someone who expects you to be available 24/7?

Do they give you assignments with a due date of yesterday?

Does it seem like you're living in the movie Office Space?

You're not alone, most people can relate.

Work boundaries can be challenging to set up and maintain.

It's the scarcity mindset that gets to us about work boundaries.

We think thoughts like:

• If I'm not available 24/7, I won't get promoted.

• I could get fired if I don't answer my boss immediately.

• I can't afford to lose this job, so I'll do anything.

Those thoughts lead to feelings of fear. Then we take actions we don't actually want to take, like keeping our work email open 24/7.

We cut back on time with family and friends so we can be more available. We throw our boundaries right out the window when we're afraid.

Let's change that mindset step by step.

1. What do you want your boundaries to be?

Sit down and write out the list. Don't just think about it. Write out the actual list. Imagine an ideal day, leaving your boss out of it. Make it a list of things you can control.

Ideas:

• I want to not be available for work between 7pm-7am.

• I want to check my work email once after 5pm.

• I want to be present and engaged at family events.

• I want to avoid distractions at work so I can focus on work tasks during designated times.

• I want to schedule weekends when I'm completely unplugged.

2. What actions do you have to take to make your list happen?

Here's where you can involve your boss. You can tell them directly about your new boundary. Some bosses might even be willing to help you set it up.

If you don't think that will go over well, boundaries are still all within your control. You have to create the consequences.

Boundary statements are If _________, then _______:

• If my boss emails me at 8pm, I answer it by 12pm the next day.

• If my boss texts me during dinner, I do not respond until after dinner.

• If my boss asks me to work on a weekend project at the last minute, I reply that I am unavailable until Monday morning.

• If my boss says I must be available, I set parameters around the timeline of actual work.

• If my boss yells at me, I do not respond until everyone is calm.

3. How do you have to feel to take those actions?

Positive feelings will help you have a productive conversation with your boss. Feelings like confident, determined, and optimistic.

This concept ties back to the scarcity mindset. When you feel miserable and scared about boundaries, you don't take productive action. That's true for all of us. We ended up without boundaries because we felt scared.

Feeling confident helps us take positive action forward with our boss. We're able to keep our boundaries when we come from an abundant place rather than a scarcity mindset.

4. What thoughts do you have to choose to feel confident?

Confidence doesn't appear out of thin air. It comes from our thoughts.

Thoughts like:

• I know I can set up healthy boundaries.

• I'm developing my boundary setting abilities.

• It takes practice and this is the perfect opportunity to practice.

• I can successfully navigate this boundary with my boss.

• I am a valuable worker and boundaries are important.

Find a thought that works for you. Remember, the thought has to generate confidence or optimism. Then you'll take the positive actions of moving forward with your boundary setting.

5. Stick to your protocol.

Once you establish boundaries and create a schedule for yourself, stick with it. See what works and what doesn't. Make adjustments, but make them 24 hours in advance.

The key is not to react in the moment with a new protocol. If your boss sends you a panic text message and your emotions take over, you'll respond. Instead, allow the urge to respond to exist. Stick to your protocol. Remind yourself why you're doing this.

I bet if you’re struggling with boundaries at work, you’re also struggling with time.

Here’s how I make myself work during designated times.

The not-so-rewarding “rewards” of overworking

Overworking is a sneaky form of buffering.

It seems like a good thing with lots of rewards, until it's not.

Buffering is a concept developed by Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School. It's all the times we avoid emotions and try to fill that space with something external.

Think about when you've eaten an entire pint of ice cream to "feel better." Do you actually feel better at the end of the pint or when you've reached the end of the bag of chips? Nope.

That's buffering. We thought something would give us lots of pleasure, but then we took it too far.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying ice cream. It's the "too much" part and avoiding our real emotions that makes it a problem.

And how many times have we had to learn that lesson again and again?

We overeat, overdrink, over-Facebook, overshop, and overwork.

We all see the pitfalls of overeating and overdrinking. Overeating contributes to obesity. Overdrinking contributes to alcoholism.

Even overshopping contributes to hoarding and debt. Too much Facebook or social media contributes to less time to do things you love or need to be getting done.

But overworking is sneaky because there are a lot more "rewards" tied to overworking.

If you put in longer hours at work, the rewards are:

• more money

• awards

• praise from your boss

• climbing up "the corporate or academic ladder"

• a possible promotion

The list goes on. In our United States culture, overworking is something we love. We put it on a pedestal and strive for more.

We don't all walk around saying, "I'd like to overwork myself this week."

But we do say, "Time to hustle. Time to grind it out."

We also say, "Hard work is important. You have to put in the hours."

"Success only comes from hard work."

Of course, hard work can be valuable and important. But remember, we're talking about buffering. The "too much aspect" of something. Avoiding our internal feelings by using something external instead.

Too much working pulls us away from other things.

Overworking takes away time from family and friends.

It takes time away from joyful activities and hobbies.

And it often keeps us out of the present moment, putting our focus on the future and tasks to be completed tomorrow.

That's why so many of my clients come to me feeling burnt out and confused about their next steps.

They think changing their circumstances (e.g., changing employers), will solve their problem.

You may be in this boat too.

I completely understand because I've been there myself.

The first step to overcoming overworking is to identify how it shows up in your life.

For me, I noticed I would fill my future calendar with tons of events. I said yes all the time to things "in a few months."

It felt far away, it felt good to say yes, and I didn't have to pay the consequences until the month actually happened.

Then I would say, "How did my calendar get so full? Why am I this overbooked?"

Decisions I made two months ago were showing up to haunt me.

You may find that you lean towards overworking when you're going through a difficult time. Maybe you lost a loved one or don't want to grapple with the anger you have. So you turn to overworking.

For me, I was trying to outrun myself. I didn't like the voice in my head, so I thought I could drown it out by overworking. (It didn't work, obviously.)

Remember, overworking seems like it helps, but it's a false pleasure.

What if you felt the feelings in that moment, instead of turning to something external?

When you feel the need to overwork, write it down. Keep writing the urges down.

What patterns show up for you?

The simple act of writing down when you feel the need to overwork will reveal so much to you.

You might find that you say yes to overworking when you're feeling scarcity about money. It seems like earning more money, especially overtime, will fill that need.

But the scarcity mentality doesn't go away through overworking. It goes away through changing your thoughts and allowing your feelings.

You might find that overworking seems great when others ask you to do it. You are "helping others" and "serving your community." But afterwards, you still feel hollow or burnt out. You start to forget why you wanted to help people in the first place. It's through changing your thoughts that helps you tap back into your reasons why.

Overworking can feel like an endless cycle because you've always done it. It's really easy to find more work, more ice cream, and more alcohol. There is no end to "more" in today's culture. Wanting to change it and thinking new thoughts drives the difference.

When you stop overworking, you find yourself with true rewards.

The reward of being in the present moment. The reward of delayed gratification. The reward of working on something you truly love, rather than working on something "meh."

Want to talk through your hang ups on overworking? Don’t hesitate to reach out.

Why should you care about your LinkedIn Profile?

Watch this video to learn three reasons why your LinkedIn Profile matters.

Ready to learn how to make your profile stand out?

Did you just say “Hmm…I wonder why I should care about my LinkedIn profile?” Awesome. I'm Caitlin Faas, psychology professor and coach excited to give you three reasons why you should care about your profile – Career, Connection, and Proof.

1. Career development

First -- your career. Everybody’s using LinkedIn for the job hunt. Both employers are on there looking for you and recruiters are on there looking for you and they want to find somebody with the right fit and you might be that person. So, if you haven’t been on the job hunt in a while, that might be news and I actually require for all of my college students to make a profile and we try to make it as snazzy as possible, so that they can use it as they look for summer internships or in a couple of years when they're getting ready to graduate. They actually come back and say, “Somebody found me on LinkedIn for a job.” I'm like, “Terrific!” So, career development is one of the main reasons why people use LinkedIn.

2. Connections

A second reason to use LinkedIn is for connections whether or not you're on the job hunt. It’s a way to do online networking and you can send messages to people that maybe you both went to the same college, maybe you're at the same company, but they're up in the New York branch and you're in Michigan. There are all kinds of possibilities there. And even if you're not looking to network specifically with anybody, you think you might not want to network with somebody, it’s pretty cool to be on the receiving end. So maybe, the college student finds you because you both went to the same college and you're 10 or 20 years ahead and they’d like to ask you a question about your company, your experience, or your education background. So, you can both look for connections and people will find you.

3. Proof

So, we’ve got career, connections, and the last reason to care about your profile would be for proof. Even me as an example, I told you that I was a psychology professor but you might wonder “Are we sure about this? Do we know she’s for real?” Well, go look at my LinkedIn profile and you can see where I teach, where are my degrees from. All of those details that you might not be able to either ask because I'm delivering information to you or sometimes it’s just nice to look up somebody that you're connecting with through another venue and say “Oh, I don’t have to ask them where did you get your degree, what year it was, all of that. I just quickly look at their LinkedIn profile.” You can learn a lot about somebody that way.

So, three reasons: Career, Connection and Proof. That’s why you should care. I hope I've convinced you there. So, if I have, then actually doing the work of updating your LinkedIn profile and tips and tricks is available.

Want to take your career to the next level? Leave your details below, and I’ll send you my tips for reclaiming your time!

How to Stop Letting Work Suck All of Your Free Time

Is work spilling into your home life and you don't know how to keep the balance? Try these two tips for finding that work-life balance.

This is the issue of when work starts to bleed into your free time or it kind of sucks all of your free time and you find yourself saying “Why am I working all the time? I could be enjoying myself.” It's that fine balance between wanting to get things done, be productive and make money; compared to spending time with family, spending time with loved ones, friends, enjoying yourself. It can definitely be a struggle in a battle. Let's talk about that.

I was actually talking about this in a Facebook group with a couple of people and both Laura and Jenna commented that this is the specific issue they have. They find that they're more productive towards the evening, but as they're working in the evening, their husband will come home and he wants to spend time with them or time to make dinner and that turns into evening activities that feel like “I don't want to do that” part because I’m still trying to be productive and I actually feel more productive than I'm working right now. And so, it's this tension between the two. Right?

1. Explore when you are most productive

The first tip would be the statement about when we're most productive. And so, are you saying that some people start to get into the mindset of “I'm only productive when _______." “I'm only productive when I have everything on my desk lined up perfectly” or “I'm only productive at night because I'm a night owl.” And so, I will throw that back to you and question it and say like, are you sure you're only productive at 5:00 PM or do you think you're productive at 5:00 PM because that's when you start to realize that the evening is in front of you and you have to get this done because maybe it's a deadline that’s due that night or you're trying to meet a client's needs etc.

Is it really 5 p.m. or could you also do work at 4:00 PM or 3:00 PM. I'm not asking for the extreme here because this is usually the response I get from clients and students and they’re like, “Oh no, I tried to wake up at 7:00 AM one time and do work. I tried to be a morning person once or twice” or whatever it might be.

I say, “Whoa!” Okay, I'm not asking for that kind of drastic change, not like you need to get up at 7:00 AM if you usually get up at 9:00 AM, instead these are minor changes or minor shifts. So, if it usually feels like 5:00 to 7:00 PM is the most productive, what does 4:30 to 6:30 PM feel like? Is it truly 5:00 to 7:00? Is there something built into your day that's happening there? What if you make a slight shift a half hour back which would give you more time in the evening? What does that look like for you? Play with that a little bit right and track it. It goes back to her tracking principles that we've been talking about in other videos. So that's one way to tackle it. Are you sure that, that's the only time you can be productive?

2. Set time limits and boundaries

And then the other tip would be to think about the time limits and boundaries that you're setting in general for tasks. You may find that you give yourself the whole day to get something done, but does it take the whole day or does it only take an hour or two hours or five hours whatever it might be. And so, is it that the evening time is starting to get cut into because you've let the day kind of get away from you, but now you're starting to see like I need to get this task done. I'm going to make it happen. Procrastination is working to your advantage here. What is that expectation there? Can you also then make boundaries with your family?

"I know you all start to walk in the door this time, but can I keep working until 7:00 PM." For example can I work until 7:00 PM and then we will be able to spend time together as family or as friends or whatever it might be, so that they everybody's expectations are clear from the beginning about when you would be working and when you wouldn't be working, so try that too.

Is everybody in agreement that this can be time that you could work and time that you wouldn't work and are you internalizing that too of knowing that it's going to be okay if I don't work from 7:00 PM until the next morning. Can I accept that this is my work time only and this is free time and I'm going to embrace and live in the moment for those moments and enjoy it while I can?

So what do you think? Share below in the comments!

How to Avoid, "But I Put So Much Time Into That."

Does this sentence sound familiar?

"I can't quit doing this. I already put so much time/resources/money into it."

We have all said it about something at some point our lives. Sometimes, it is a really positive way to keep our momentum going on something we have already started. But often, it is a sentence that holds us back from taking the next steps.

I hear students and clients say sentences like:

• "I can't switch my major now because I'm already committed to this degree."

• "I already paid for that ticket, so now I have to go to the event."

• "I invested a lot into this one side hustle, so I can't give up on it and try something new."

In research, we call it the sunk cost fallacy.

Basically, it is the idea that you have to keep going because of all the time/resources/money you've already spent. We're very "loss averse" as humans. We hate to lose things or abandon projects, even when they aren't working. Behavioral economists and cognitive psychologists have conducted really insightful research about this topic. An easy to read summary with references is over here on the "You are Not So Smart blog" by David McRaney. 

Even when we recognize there is a mistake in our thinking, it is hard to take the next steps.

Okay, so you get that something in your life may have sunk costs. My latest example has been a race I signed up to run. I paid for the race months ago, not anticipating I might be burnt out on running, have broken my pinky toe, and not really trained for the race. I COULD have said, "I have to go run this race because I already paid for the ticket."

But there are better questions to ask yourself to avoid the sunk cost fallacy. Instead, just a few days before the race, I told myself, "Okay. You already paid for this race, whether or not you actually go and run it. Will you still enjoy going to the race, even if you have to walk it?" The answer was yes. I still wanted to go. But I didn't force myself to go or force myself to "get my money's worth." Because remember, I had already paid for my ticket. It was a sunk cost.

Questions to Ask Yourself to Avoid the Sunk Cost Fallacy:

1. What is the "thing" that will not change, regardless of my next steps? This could be money, time, resources spent, etc. Recognize the "sunk costs."

2. What do you want to get out of your next steps? Do you want to enjoy yourself, follow your passion, make more money, or give something up because it is no longer working?

3. If you look at your answer to #2, does it change your #1? The answer should always be NO if it is a true sunk cost fallacy.

4. So since you can't change the answer to #1 - what will you do next? How will you move forward?

What's your scenario where you might be dealing with sunk costs?

Share below in the comments or send me an email and we'll help you strategize. Sometimes it is confirming your thoughts with another person that helps you move forward with your next steps!

How to Really Focus on Your Work

Have you ever had a ton of stuff to do on your task list, but can't seem to get any of it actually done?

It's a common feeling. I feel it myself from time to time. I have these big projects I want to spend more time on, but distractions and other smaller projects keep getting in the way. Or maybe you're a student and you have a big test coming up, but you keep procrastinating instead of studying for it.

Sometimes we need to really, truly focus on our work.

We start to realize that we need no distractions. Maybe you have tried some of these techniques before:

• Going to a coffee shop to work instead of your office or home.

• Hiding your cell phone for a stretch of time.

• Disconnecting your WiFi or enabling an app like Freedom to deter online activity.

• Asking your colleagues or roommates to "leave you alone" for a stretch of time while you work.

• Having a work or study session with a friend to keep you accountable.

All of these techniques can be really helpful. But why? 

Cal Newport calls it the skill of "deep work." When we allow ourselves to focus and spend time really engaging in deep work, we get more done. We're more productive and creative. We feel accomplishment from our work sessions, instead of wondering where all of our time went. I have had several recent session of deep work and I am amazed at what I can accomplish during them.

It makes perfect sense to focus on our tasks, but our world has become so distracting. 

It can take awhile to work yourself up to big sessions of deep work. I recommend trying the Pomodoro Technique to get yourself started. Spend 25 minutes completely undistracted on your task. Whatever you need to do to get rid of those distractions (see the list above). You can build up your time in increments. Soon you'll be spending 90 minutes engaged in deep work.

So what has helped you focus on deep work before? What can you commit to right now for focusing? 

Tell us below in the comments so we can share ideas!

How to Find Out All the Details About That Potential Career

Do you ever find yourself wondering about the salary of a career you're considering? Or what a person actually does, day to day in that career? There are lots of questions you might have about that career title.

The U.S. Department of Labor collects all of this data and shares it for free on an easy to use website:

http://www.onetonline.org/

The O*Net Online website is what I consider an under utilized treasure trove. Most young adults I work with have never heard of it before. But it contains all of these wonderful details!

Here's one of my favorite examples - genetic counselors. Did you know this is currently a career with a "bright outlook" (careers that have openings, room for growth, etc)? 

Apparently all genetic counselors have their master's degree and their median wage in 2015 was $72,090. I can even click "local salary info" to learn more about salaries broken down by region and state. Their work values include "relationships" and "achievement." They use both email and face-to-face discussions every day. Genetic counselors are good at reading comprehension and critical thinking.

That whole paragraph was just from a quick scan of the O*Net website. 

I don't even know any genetic counselors personally, but reading the details on O*Net gives me a clearer picture of that occupation.

If you don't have a particular occupation title in mind, you can search by categories. There are thousands of occupation titles I didn't even know existed! I bet you could find the same thing to be true if you explored the website yourself. Or if you're in a current occupation, read the details about that position to make comparisons across the United States. There are many ways to use the O*Net Online website. I'm just on a mission to share it with all young adults!

So tell us in the comments - what's something new you learned from the O*NET Website?

Why It's Difficult to be Around People who are on a Clear Path

It can be really difficult to be around people who know exactly what they are doing with their lives.

When you ask for advice or talk about your own path, they make a lot of vague statements:

"You just have to find your passion!"

"You'll figure it out in time."

"Everything happens for a reason."

"Just believe in yourself."

Ever heard those cliches before?  They are everywhere. And the people that say them intend all the best.

But when you're struggling to find your path, hearing cliches is difficult.

Instead, I like to delve into learning more about other people and their stories. I'd rather hear the details of your story than ask for direct advice. Especially because most people don't know how to give direct advice - they give cliches instead. But they do know how to tell their own story. And we can learn from it.

Think about someone famous that you admire.

Where did they start? Did they always have success? What was their journey? For example, one of my favorite 'famous' people is Gretchen Rubin. She is well known now for her books and podcast about happiness, but before that - she was a lawyer. And she was someone who I started following right after she wrote her first book about happiness. Before she was a household name and inspiring millions. I have watched her journey and can admire her passion and focus. Because she shares so many personal stories in her writing, I feel like I know she hasn't always had a 'clear path' and linear focus. But it's only through reading her material that I've learned this about her.

We don't always have the chance to really learn more about 'famous people.'

So let's think about the unsung heroes in our every day lives that are on a clear path with passion and focus.  Maybe it is a friend, a coworker, or a relative.

This week, try asking the people in your life some specific questions about their journey and see where the conversation takes you:

1. Tell me about a time you struggled at work.

2. What would you say are your top three priorities in life?

3. What's the best thing that has happened to you in the past year?

4. What's the worst thing that has happened to you in the past year?

5. Where do you want to be in five years (or ten years, etc) from now?

Through these conversations, it just might be easier to relate and learn something from their path that can help your own.

Asking deeper questions just might help prevent you from hearing a standard cliche.

Want to take the next step toward achieving your personal and professional goals? Check out the top five books I recommend to level up your life! Just leave your details below.