How to Make Actionable Steps Work in Your Daily Life

Do you have trouble sticking to your plans and to-do lists?

You're not alone. A lot of people know the nuts and bolts of time management and productivity. They know what they "want" to be doing or that they want more time in their day. But it seems really hard to execute the plan. Or they start out really well, for a week...and then it all falls apart. 

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you know I'm all about being productive for a purpose. So I always start with helping people figure out the purpose behind wanting to "accomplish more" or "get more things done." Do you know why you want an extra hour in your day? After gaining clarity on your "reasons why," then it's time to figure out how to take actionable steps.

After gaining clarity on your purpose, then it's about figuring out where to start.

Often when I'm helping clients or students figure out where to begin with steps, they need to start with tracking. It sounds too obvious almost. But seriously, ask yourself these questions:

• How much time did I spend surfing the internet when I wanted to be working yesterday?

• How much time am I actually commuting?

• Exactly how much time did I sleep last night?

• What did I eat for lunch yesterday?

These are the kinds of questions people have vague answers to usually, but can't point. So I recommend tracking. Hour by hour, track your time and where it goes. I love tracking and somehow I still managed to not realize how much time I was spending on Facebook last month. I had turned off my StayFocusd browser extension and thought I wasn't spending "that much time." Oh I was spending lots of time. Almost an hour a day (broken up into tiny moments, but it all added up quickly). StayFocusd is back on and it reminds me when I'm getting close to my daily limit. You'd be surprised at how much awareness comes from tracking, even from just a day.

After tracking and gaining awareness, it's about pinpointing something small.

Time to get a tiny snowball shaped and formed. Something to get the momentum started. Eventually it will turn into an avalanche, but for now, form one small snowball. What is one place you are "wasting time" in your day? And what can you do about it?

• Can you go to sleep 15 minutes earlier (replacing browsing updates)?

• Can you delete an app that keeps distracting you?

• Do you have to be the one completing the action? In other words, can you outsource something small?

• When are you most able to focus? And can the task that needs the most work move to that time slot?

• Have you thought about actually scheduling "down time" instead of crashing into it from exhaustion?

Just try one thing. For at least a week. Be consistent about it and see what kind of results you get. Does it help? Does it not help? You're on a mission to conduct mini-experiments here. Some things may not work out and that's okay because they are tiny and can be changed.

Along the way, most people benefit from some type of accountability.

Whether or not you need accountability on each of your goals depends on a lot of things. One of my favorite resources for this issue is from Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies. I'm an upholder, so I keep myself accountable for most of my own goals. But a lot of people are obligers and need the extra support from a friend, a colleague, a coach, or someone else on a regular basis. If you're not familiar with her tendencies, be sure to check them out. Knowing your own tendency helps you know what works best in for you.

"Don't compare your start to someone else's middle."

A classic line that several people as a reminder when working on goals. As you start to get the ball rolling on taking action and asking someone to help keep you accountable, you might start to look around. And you might start to notice that lots of other people are "doing it better" than you are. They seem to have this productivity thing all figured out. They seem to manage their time really well. Be careful of the social comparison - it's a slippery slope. Stop and remind yourself that it probably took them months if not years to get to that point. You're beginning today. They are somewhere in the middle. Encourage yourself by talking to others who are in the exact same boat with progress.

When the ball is rolling along steadily, shift to the bigger picture.

After gaining momentum for several weeks or months, try to step back and see the bigger picture. Are tasks on your list becoming "less urgent" thanks to your new steps? I'm always working with people to move out of the "important, urgent" part of the Eisenhower box. When everything is both important and urgent, it can be overwhelming to make any progress. Reducing the amount of things in that one section can help you focus on the rest of the tasks you want to accomplish. 

So tell me, what's the next small step you want to start to take action? Leave a comment below!

Ways to be Kinder to Yourself

Do you even remember the last negative thing you said to yourself today?

I bet it happened within the last couple of hours. You might have not even noticed. We seem to have an easier time saying negative things to ourselves than anyone else in our lives. The list might include:

• I'm no good at this, I don't even know why I try.

• I hate myself for not following through on that deadline.

• I suck.

• I'm not ________ enough. (pretty, smart, charming, thin, healthy...)

• I'm never going to be able to accomplish this goal.

That's our inner critic saying a lot of negative self-talk.

Some days are our inner critic is louder than others. And recognizing it is crucial for moving forward. Clinicians and counselors are amazing at helping us work on changing our negative self-talk through cognitive behavioral therapy. And of course, the idea of positive thinking is everywhere. Almost a little too much sometimes - Melody Wilding writes about why positive thinking doesn't work and what actually does work.

So how can we also be kind to ourselves?

If I could talk to my 20-year-old self, I'd say be kinder to yourself. And I'm pretty sure my future 40-year-old self would tell me to do the same thing. We all know yelling doesn't work. The inner critic isn't helping us either. Kindness allows us the chance to breathe and relax. Kindness helps us channel a better space to get things done. Kindness helps us see new perspectives and get creative.

First, ask yourself what you would tell your best friend.

Would you tell your best friend she should just give up or yell at her to get more things done? No? So why do you tell yourself those things? It's a classic idea, but an important reminder. Only say the things to yourself that you would say to a friend or loved one. We all know kindness goes a long way when we're making and building friendships. Use the same techniques on yourself. You know the phrases and statements you like to hear. Make a list and put it where you can see it.

Second, give yourself space to make mistakes and stumble.

When we're on the productivity bandwagon and all energized about getting stuff done, we can get a little carried away and try to cram too much into too little space. I do it myself sometimes. I'll say, "That's the day I'm going to get X, Y, and Z done - definitely!" And then the day rolls around and I don't get it done. Because some days are low energy and some days I need time to rest and recharge.

Building these moments and days into my calendar is just as important as the items on my to-do list. Otherwise, I'll spend the rest of the week "beating myself up" for not getting things done. Instead, I remember to be kind to myself. "Wow, I've really had a lot going on, no wonder I needed more rest on Sunday." It often takes more time and space than we imagine in our heads when we first plan it.

Third, say no to something on your list.

Sometimes being kinder means recognizing that you aren't superhuman. We aren't little energizer bunnies all the time. And sometimes you need more rest and time to recharge than other times of the year. I know one of my statements right now is, "It's still winter, a time of hibernation and staying well rested so I don't get sick. Be kind to yourself." And that means taking some things off my plate that I might be able to accomplish at other times of the year. February is not my month for tackling big, new projects. I know this about myself.

So what's on your list that you can step back from? Say no or take a break from? Can any of it start today? Tomorrow? Next week?

So what resonates with you? What are other ways to be kind to yourself?

Share below in the comments so we can all learn from each other!

5 Reasons to Get Excited About Input Cleanses

What in the world is an input cleanse?

I thought the same thing when I heard it for the first time on The Good Life Project podcast. Don't worry, it doesn't have anything to do with juices or soup detox programs. You're actually already familiar with the idea - it's all about unplugging and stopping the consumption of "inputs."

We have so many inputs coming at us from dozens of angles ALL the time now.

How often do you check your phone? Your email? The news headlines? Celebrity gossip? Social media? Sometimes I'm not even watching the media and I get texts from family members about who died or the latest outfit a celebrity wore. Emails that need to be attended to right now. Checking how many people commented on my post. Sometimes it's even the music we're listening to or the advertisements we think we aren't paying attention to in the background. All of it just keeps coming, with no end in sight.

Awareness about all of these inputs is the first step to making progress.

I love all the research that is coming out about our smartphones being a "slot machine in our pocket" because of the variable rewards we get when we pay attention to them. Dr. Cal Newport tells us to give up social media completely for a lot of good reasons. Personally, I prefer keeping a healthy balance and living within moderation (although there were those 18 months I lived without a smartphone).

I bet you have a lot of excuses about why you can't unplug on a regular basis.

I hear these excuses all the time (and I know I've said them myself at some point):

• I need to be available for emergencies.

• I might miss something.

• I get bored standing in line or waiting for things.

• Everyone else is doing it, is it really a big deal?

• I don't think I have it in me to actually do it.

First, most smartphones now have advanced settings where you can let certain contacts disturb you, no matter what, even if your phone is on silent. That can absolutely be helpful for emergencies of all kinds.

Our smartphones have also created a "fear of missing out (FOMO)" feeling. But trust me, the more you unplug, the more you start to realize you aren't missing anything. You'll catch up.

If you get bored standing in lines, try to use the moment to think mindfully and take deep breaths to help you relax and stay present.

Sure, everyone else is plugged in all the time and consumed by all the inputs, but you're committed to self-improvement and becoming the best version of yourself, isn't that why you're reading this?

And I absolutely know you have the power to do this - embrace your growth mindset and accept the challenge. You'll hit stumbling blocks, we all do, but small, incremental changes can add up quickly.

Now that we've addressed the excuses, let's talk about 5 reasons to get excited for your next input cleanse:

1. You will actually get things done on your to-do list. Sounds obvious, but seriously. Aren't we all trying to reclaim our time for a purpose? The amount of time you're paying attention to inputs right now is more than you think. You're reading this blog post, it's an input! Some of you will find you need to start with an hour and build from there (I go one full day once a month - at least). Once you start to embrace the time, you'll really be able to delve in and get things done.

2. True conversations and relationship building emerges. Doesn't it drive you crazy when someone is distracted while you're trying to talk to them? An input cleanse helps prevent those moments. You'll actually talk and listen with the other person. Deeper conversations and moments can happen.

3. You will probably buy less "stuff." I know I've really found that when I stop the advertisements and constant promotions in my email, I buy less stuff (Unroll.me is a free game changer here). That's why we get all of these ads and promos - so we buy more stuff. Taking an input cleanse always helps prevent the, "But I NEED that feeling," I get about products sometimes. Out of sight, out of mind.

4. You may even feel better emotionally. We've all had that "meh" feeling after scrolling through the highlight reels of everyone else's lives on Facebook or Instagram. There's building evidence social media is influencing our mental health and research studies about the topic have exploded in recent years. Letting ourselves get upset about so-and-so's uninformed commentary isn't really helping our day to day lives. So pay attention to your emotional health after an input cleanse day or weekend.

5. Others will end up joining you. At first, most people are skeptical. But then they'll see how you'll benefitting and want to try it out themselves. And that leads us back to more interactions, more real time with each other, and a positive spiral of momentum for all of us. Who doesn't want that?

Unplugging is a great way to minimize distractions so that you can get the work done. Looking for more ways to put an end to procrastination? Get access to my tips for reclaiming your time with the form below!

Why do you Want an Extra Hour in Your Day?

Almost everyone says yes to, "Do you want an extra hour in your day?"

Yes, please. I'll take an extra hour today, tomorrow, and the next day. We can all agree we like the idea of an extra hour in our day. That's why we seek out all the productivity and accountability advice we can stand. We follow people who are talking about productivity and try to learn tricks from the super organized giants out there.

We can also easily dream up what we would do with that extra hour.

Everyone has ideas of what they would do if they had extra time and a lot of them sound like this:

• I would spend more time with my family.

• I would get more sleep (how you can benefit from adjusting your sleep habits).

• I would spend it getting organized for the next day.

• I would watch an episode of my favorite show (This Is Us, anyone?).

• I would spend time on my hobbies again, the ones I keep pushing aside.

But why do you really want to do these things?

One of the big things that is missing from all these productivity conversations is purpose. Most of what I read about productivity says they'll help you find that extra hour...so you can do more work or just MORE, MORE, MORE. Why do we keep saying we need more of everything? (Tweet this thought!)

Let's shift the conversation and talk about WHY we want to be more productive.

When you stop to think about why you want that extra hour, does it get at your core values? For example, if you want to spend more time with family or friends, is it because that's what you value most in your life?

Or is the thought of why you want the extra hour based more on "what you should be doing" or "what others want you to be doing?" These are the types of reasons that make us say we want something - but then we don't follow through. We just flippantly say, "Oh yeah, I wish I had more time," without really thinking about it and delving in. Or we say, "Yeah, I wish I could be like that, all productive and super energized," but we don't really mean it.

Doing the work of figuring out your "why" does take time.

I know, it sounds counterintuitive. And it isn't a magic bullet like some other people talk about when it comes to productivity. But committing yourself to writing down your reasons is important. Having the space to breathe and ponder "why" is one of the first steps to gaining momentum on maximizing productivity. All of those hacks and tricks out there start to fall into place when you get crystal clear on why you want to be more productive. My worksheet on reclaiming your time starts to tap into these issues, so check it out.

So tell me, do you know some of the reasons why you truly want to become more productive?

Is It Time to Reorganize Your Productivity Toolbox?

We all have systems for staying productive.

I'm a big fan of my paper and pen planner. Sticky notes are my friend (both on my laptop and the physical kind). When I'm trying to stick to a new routine, I make a daily tickmark system so I can keep the momentum going. Maybe you send yourself voice memos or keep everything in a Google calendar that sends you reminders on your phone.

All of these are systems within our productivity toolbox. Tools we use on a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly basis.

But have you ever stopped to reorganize your productivity toolbox?

Sure, you've stopped using a tool before. But you have you deliberately thought about it? One of my "secrets" to staying productive and successful is to reevaluate my systems on a periodic basis. About once a month, I look to see if the tools I'm using are still serving their purpose.

For example, I just switched paper planners with the new year. Last year I used a Planner Pad, which was really helpful for organizing my week and listing daily tasks. This year I got hooked on  Ruth Soukup's Living Well Planner. I love the monthly planning charts and narrowing down "three must do items" every day. I made that intentional switch to a new paper planner.

But then I also stopped to think - how else do I want to track my daily tasks? I've already written about why mental to-do lists hinder progress. I needed a new way dump those mental tasks. So I went searching for a new tool.

I landed on Do.List - a free app for my iPhone. It's insanely simple by keeping track of today, tomorrow, and later tasks. When I check something off my list, a little stick figure dances. Such a simple reinforcer!

It's working for me right now, but I know I might need to move on in a few months.

Productivity isn't all about landing on the "perfect" tool or the absolute best method for everyone. Everyone is different. That's why I'm always searching for new tools and tips to put in my toolbox and share with my students and clients.

Tell us in the comments your current favorite productivity tool!

How to Get Started on Your Next Steps

Feeling some motivation to get started on a big goal, but don't know where to start?

You're not alone this time of year. Millions of people are making new year's resolutions and trying to figure out where to begin. It's really easy to throw around big lists of goals at the beginning of the year.

Maybe some of these resolutions or goals are on your list:

• I want to get organized.

• I want to switch jobs or careers.

• I want to workout consistently.

• I want to travel more often.

• I want to go back to school to finish that degree.

All of these types of big statements feel big and difficult to start.

Let's take the example of switching careers. If you say, "I really want to change my job." My first questions would be centered around helping you to define that goal more clearly. Why do you want to change your job? When do you want to change your job - by the end of the year or in the next month?

Asking questions about your goals helps you find clarity.

Really thinking about you want that goal or resolution to stick helps it become more important and meaningful for you. Sometimes I give up on a goal because halfway to "the finish line," I realize I didn't really want to accomplish that goal at all. Stopping to think about the goal in the first place would have helped me know why I was working towards it.

Detailed questions also help make our goals SMART. Have you heard about SMART goals yet? Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Instead of, "I want to change jobs this year," turn it into, "I want to transition into a job that pays me "X amount of money" by June 1st." The statement is no longer vague or unclear. Maybe it isn't more money that you want, but a more fulfilling career. That's why you need to the do the clarity step first to create the SMART goal.

After gaining clarity and making a SMART goal, break it down into tiny steps.

When you make a really big goal, it can quickly start to feel overwhelming. "How in the world am I going to accomplish THAT by THAT date?!" With our job example, it can seem impossible. But that's where we want to just take the next step forward to start to gain momentum.

Six months from now may feel really far away, but what about one month from now? What about next week?

What's one easy, manageable thing you can do in the next week to get closer to that goal?

Is it telling a trusted friend about your goal? I wrote about how to find someone who can help scaffold your development here.

Is it putting it on a big piece of paper to tape to your fridge so you'll see it every day? I know what you're thinking. "Oh that's WAY too easy." That's the point. It's easy. It gets you going and creates some momentum. Once you tackle a tiny step, you can create another tiny step. And keep going from there. Week by week gets easier and before you know it, you're making progress on the goal a month later, two months later, etc. 

Need more inspiration for goal setting? One of my favorite resources is the author James Clear, who has a whole page of articles dedicated to goal setting.

So where are you in the goal setting process? Making a goal, gaining clarity, or working on your tiny steps?

Tell me below in the comments or send me an email so I can help follow up!

How to Get Yourself Across the Finish Line

It's that time of year when everyone is hustling and bustling around.

My students are exhausted and just trying to make it through the end of the semester. The holidays still seem far enough away, but wait - we're already several days into the last month of the year. The finish line to the end of the year is in sight, but it feels so far away. We're all in that kind of in-between stage of adding things to the to-do list when there is already plenty on it to complete. What do you do when you can see the finish line, but it still feels far away?

Remember what the finish line actually represents.

Is the finish line the end of the semester to you? The end of the year? What is the line and how do you want to feel when you cross that line? Sure, time will march on and that date will come no matter what you do. But do you want to crawl across the finish line or feel strong at the end? I can't help the running analogies - I've been back in my running groove lately. After having a rough finish at a race this fall, my new goal is always to feel strong at the end, even if it means not making a new personal record time. What's your goal? What do you envision for that date or time that is in sight?

Make a list of everything in between you and that finish line.

I know not everyone is a list maker. But often, my students and clients come into my office, talking about how much they have to get done before the end of the week or the semester. They have so much going on and so much to do. So I ask them to list it out on paper. And more often than not, the list isn't as long as they had imagined it in their heads. Mental to do lists are dangerous for us to carry around. Get it all down on paper or in an app so you can actually see it.

Even when the list is long, are there things on the list that are "wishes" versus "must complete?" I'm guilty of making lists that are never accomplishable within 24 hours from time to time. I gently remind myself, "Well, most of these tasks were wishes to complete, not set in stone." Remove the wishes from the list and focus on what must get done when the finish line is in sight. Everything else is a bonus.

Take time to stay in the present moment.

Mindfulness meditation has become even more important for me this year. When I start to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of end-of-year activities, I stop. Remind myself to take a deep breath. Marvel in the fact that I have this chance, this present moment. Think about how I have survived many of these types of chaotic times and I will go through more in the future. This is just one. I can be present and be in the moment during these times, even when the finish line is so close.

Build in downtime after the finish line.

Sometimes when we're getting ready to cross the finish line, we move the line. We say, "Oh okay this is the end of the semester, but now I'm working on the end of the year." Wait, what? Why move the finish line on yourself? Enjoy getting ready to cross it and build in some downtime surrounding the finish line. I really believe in the importance of taking a true day of rest. So before making the next finish line for yourself, enjoy that you have crossed one.

What other strategies do you use to cross the finish lines of your life? Tell me below in the comments!

Why You Should Stop the Social Comparison

"Everyone else has their act together, why don't I?"

I hear statements like that one from students and clients all the time. Similar statements include:

• Oh, that person? They're perfect. They wouldn't understand.

• Everyone else has their life figured out, but I don't.

• I wish I could be happy as everyone else I know.

• They must have it all together.

• I wish I could be more like that person.

These are dangerous statements to make, yet we say them all the time.

These types of statements bring us down and push us away from each other. Instead of feeling close and connected, we feel defeated and lonely. We feel like no one else could ever understand what we're going through. That we're the only one dealing with difficult emotions or sad and negative times.

It's incredibly easy to find reasons to say these statements. We scroll through perfect pictures on Instagram (are we following each other yet?). Celebrities always seem to be in our faces on advertisements and in movies. Everyone posts happy and memorable times on Facebook. Parents and loved ones ask us why we can't be more like someone else's son or daughter that they know. Our lives are constantly being compared to others.

When someone makes a social comparison in front of me, I say - "You're not alone."

It sounds so simple, but seriously. You're not alone. You feel like you should have your life together like that person? That person probably doesn't think they have their life together. They also struggle with things. They too feel sad, afraid, confused, and alone at times. Maybe they aren't willing to share the nitty gritty details with you, but I guarantee they go through the same human struggles we all go through. 

One of my favorite ways to remind myself of this is to actually talk to other people about my struggles. That takes feeling safe and comfortable enough with other people, but I can quickly do that if I break down the 'fake barriers' that keep us all from being real and open with each other. I start conversations. I reach out to people online. I respond when they reach out to me. I also like to read biographies and autobiographies of people that I admire most because it reminds me to stop putting them on a pedestal. Seven billion people on this planet - I guarantee you are not alone.

So how do you keep yourself from the constant social comparison that surrounds us?

Tell me below in the comments so we can all learn from each other!

How to Deal with all the Questions from Relatives

It's that time of year when most of us see extended family and relatives we haven't seen in awhile. And they have a lot of questions for us. Lots of them.

Have you heard any of these "life" questions before?

• When are you going to be finished with school?

• Are you dating anyone? Or when are you getting married?

• When are you going to get a job?

• When are you going to move out on your own?

• Why do you have to work on a holiday weekend? Can't you call off?

• Why can't you be more like your brother/sister/cousin?

These are the types of questions that evoke a lot of emotions.

Some of us want to run away screaming. Some of us want to say something really witty or clever but bite our tongues and smile instead. Sometimes we just want to burst into tears at the very idea of the question. Often we want to call our friends and complain about how people just don't understand us. I get it, I've been there. I work with young adults every day who hear these questions on a regular basis.

Instead of reacting with strong emotions, there are healthy ways to deal with relatives.

First, when you get one of these stress-inducing questions, take a deep breath. Breathing is a powerful tool for helping us to remain calm. Second, recognize the relative is probably well-intentioned. They probably have no idea how much they are stressing you out. They ask because they care, even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

On a related note, people who are older than young adults have a really hard time remembering what it was like to be 20, 25, and 30 years old. They think they remember. But often the stressful and bad memories have faded while good memories remain. When I tell groups of people that college students are stressed out, a lot of adults react with, "What do THEY have to be stressed out about?!" A lot, actually. It can be really difficult being 18-25 years old, that's why we call it the "emerging adulthood" stage of life.

"When I was your age..." is the classic line that follows up most of those questions.

Which makes you want to do the eye roll. But wait - what if we used this statement as an opportunity? Maybe we've heard the story before about their life, but have you asked about the details? Or asked your own follow-up question about why they chose that path for their lives? Learning from our older generations can be really powerful, even it takes a little bit to get past the generic questions. These intergenerational moments can definitely have a positive spin if we capitalize on the opportunity.

Try some of these statements with your relatives when they ask a life question:

• I think about that question a lot.

• I'm not quite sure right now.

• I'm working on it a little bit every day.

• (If you feel comfortable enough with the person) - I actually feel really stressed when people ask me that question. But I know you ask because you care.

• I've been thinking about __insert temporary plan here__ lately, but it might change.

And then try to bridge the moment by asking meaningful questions.

Often relatives ask those kinds of "big life questions" because they don't know what else to ask you. Most of us are pretty horrible at small talk around the holidays. That's why I love all of the great examples out there about going beyond small talk:

• "How to Turn Small Talk into Smart Conversation" by TED Ideas. My favorite question is, "Who do you think is the luckiest person in this room?"

• Ask open-ended questions like "how" and "why" instead of questions that can elicit a one-word response (8 Ways to Make Meaningful Small Talk).

• Fun Conversation Starters - Lighthearted questions for all members of the family. My favorite is, "If you could eat only one food on this table for an entire year, which one would it be?"

So what tips and tricks do you have for young adults dealing with all these life questions from relatives? Share below in the comments! 

My Latest List of Optimistic and Fresh Podcasts

Are you looking you for optimistic and fresh perspectives on podcasts?

Now that I have returned to the world of the smartphone (after a refreshing 18-month hiatus), I have been listening to more podcasts while I'm driving or cleaning up around the house. These podcasts are helping me stay optimistic and hopeful about the future, especially after a long day.

The Quarter Life Comeback with Bryan Teare

I wish this podcast existed when I was in my early twenties! Every week, Bryan interviews people from a variety of backgrounds about how to navigate your twenties. I find it fascinating to hear the common themes among the podcast guests. Bryan truly wants to help others on their journey and you can hear it in his voice. Okay, maybe I'm a little biased...I was a guest on the show for episode 35 - the science of emerging adulthood. I really do listen every week though and encourage you to do the same.

Finding Mastery: Conversations with Michael Gervais

This podcast was a recommendation to me by one of our university's basketball coaches. When I saw the list of guests on the show, I knew I had to catch up quickly. I love how the guests range from experts in psychology to entrepreneurs to star athletes. The list goes on. Another excellent podcast to learn life lessons from people who have achieved and mastered so much.

Pivot Podcast with Jenny Blake

I already love everything Jenny Blake writes as an author, including her two books Life After College and PIVOT: The Only Move That Matters is Your Next One. The podcast really brings to life her voice and joy for helping others. Jenny openly shares her personal experiences about life, leaving Google to pursue her own dreams, and interviews many of her friends and mentors along the way.

Adulthood Made Easy by Real Simple

This is a fun podcast hosted by a 20-something living in New York - Sam Zabell. She talks about her own experiences with "adulting" and interviews guests about their life experiences. I really like the freshness of the podcast and how it ranges from lighthearted adulthood topics to serious moments of looking back. Again, another podcast I wish that existed when I was younger!

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin is quickly becoming a household name, but I started following her work in 2011 right after she released her book, The Happiness Project, one of my all-time favorite books. On the podcast, we get to hear her talk with her sister about their current, everyday challenges. It especially reminds that we all struggle along the way to becoming more productive and happier. Always an upbeat vibe on this podcast. #upholder

So what other podcasts are you listening to right now? Share below in the comments so I can check them out!

How to Avoid, "But I Put So Much Time Into That."

Does this sentence sound familiar?

"I can't quit doing this. I already put so much time/resources/money into it."

We have all said it about something at some point our lives. Sometimes, it is a really positive way to keep our momentum going on something we have already started. But often, it is a sentence that holds us back from taking the next steps.

I hear students and clients say sentences like:

• "I can't switch my major now because I'm already committed to this degree."

• "I already paid for that ticket, so now I have to go to the event."

• "I invested a lot into this one side hustle, so I can't give up on it and try something new."

In research, we call it the sunk cost fallacy.

Basically, it is the idea that you have to keep going because of all the time/resources/money you've already spent. We're very "loss averse" as humans. We hate to lose things or abandon projects, even when they aren't working. Behavioral economists and cognitive psychologists have conducted really insightful research about this topic. An easy to read summary with references is over here on the "You are Not So Smart blog" by David McRaney. 

Even when we recognize there is a mistake in our thinking, it is hard to take the next steps.

Okay, so you get that something in your life may have sunk costs. My latest example has been a race I signed up to run. I paid for the race months ago, not anticipating I might be burnt out on running, have broken my pinky toe, and not really trained for the race. I COULD have said, "I have to go run this race because I already paid for the ticket."

But there are better questions to ask yourself to avoid the sunk cost fallacy. Instead, just a few days before the race, I told myself, "Okay. You already paid for this race, whether or not you actually go and run it. Will you still enjoy going to the race, even if you have to walk it?" The answer was yes. I still wanted to go. But I didn't force myself to go or force myself to "get my money's worth." Because remember, I had already paid for my ticket. It was a sunk cost.

Questions to Ask Yourself to Avoid the Sunk Cost Fallacy:

1. What is the "thing" that will not change, regardless of my next steps? This could be money, time, resources spent, etc. Recognize the "sunk costs."

2. What do you want to get out of your next steps? Do you want to enjoy yourself, follow your passion, make more money, or give something up because it is no longer working?

3. If you look at your answer to #2, does it change your #1? The answer should always be NO if it is a true sunk cost fallacy.

4. So since you can't change the answer to #1 - what will you do next? How will you move forward?

What's your scenario where you might be dealing with sunk costs?

Share below in the comments or send me an email and we'll help you strategize. Sometimes it is confirming your thoughts with another person that helps you move forward with your next steps!

Why Your Mental To-Do List Prevents Progress

What lists do you have circling around in your brain right now?

Do you have something you keep trying to remember to get at the grocery store? Or a bill you need to pay before the end of the month? Does your brain keep reminding you to text that friend and then you forget? All of these are examples of mental to do lists.

Keeping mental to-do lists is exhausting.

All the big researchers that study decision making discuss this idea of "cognitive fatigue." You're wearing yourself out when you have to "keep remembering" things over and over again. Think about it. Let's say you want to remember to pay your credit card bill by the end of the month and it is only the 15th. On the 16th, a thought pops up while you're driving, "Don't forget to pay your bill!" But then you say, "Oh I'm driving. I'll have to remember that later." Two days go by. You're watching a movie and think, "Oh! I have to pay that credit card bill by the end of the month." But you don't do anything about it. You just let it keep popping up at seemingly random times.

But why "think" about these things at all?

Yes, of course, you have to pay your bill. But do you have to think about it 100 times before it is actually due? No. You're just wearing yourself out and distracting yourself when you keep mental to-do lists.

So what do I do? I write everything down - old-fashioned pen and paper style. Some of you are rolling your eyes and thinking, "Oh no - not another to-do list fanatic."

And some of you are saying, "I already have written to-do lists!" But hear me out.

Sure, you have a written or electronic to-do list. But does it have absolutely everything on it? I mean everything. If I have a thought about something I need to do - it goes in my planner. No matter how big or little the item. By putting it down on paper, I don't have to think about it again. I don't have to spend mental energy "remembering" to do something. I'm saving my brain from cognitive fatigue.

Writing everything down on an actual to-do list also gives perspective.

Last week I had a student in my office who told me she had "a million things to do" by Friday. She felt completely overwhelmed and stressed out. Totally understandable - we all get like this from time to time! I gave her a piece of paper and had her write down everything she had to get done by Friday. It took her a few minutes. She had three things on the list. Not a million. I didn't have to say anything - she said it herself.

"Okay, I see what you're doing here. The list isn't as long as I thought it was."

Success! Those are the  best moments for me - when a student or client comes to their own conclusion. Instead of feeling the weight of "a million things" that were actually three, but taking up so much space in her mental capacity, she was able to tackle each one separately and accomplish her goals.

Want to read more about decision making and cognitive fatigue? I highly recommend Dr. Cal Newport's book, "Deep Work." Or start with blog posts by James Clear. Lots of great advice and tips in their writings. And try it this week - mind dump everything on paper or electronically. Does it help?

Tell us in the comments below what works for you!

How to Make Your Morning Routine Work for You

Oh the idea of the morning routine. They are everywhere. There's even a website dedicated to interviewing people about the topic, called "My Morning Routine." There are super productive people out there that have a really great ritual, like my friend and career expert Melody Wilding. Author Gretchen Rubin regularly thinks and blogs about the topic, due to her interest in habits and behavior. Another favorite author of mine is Jenny Blake, who has a morning routine that sounds heavenly.

But have you ever tried to create a morning routine and failed miserably at it?

Sometimes we read about other people's morning routines and dream up what ours could be like.  My friend, Dr. Amanda Crowell, just wrote about her "missing morning routine" over on Powerful Peony. We create our dream morning routines and even make big declarations like, "Tomorrow I will get up at 5:00AM and be super productive!"

But then we sleep in until 11...or 12...or later, wonder where the day went, and feel pretty bad about our morning routine in general. Sound familiar? That's pretty much how I spent most of my early twenties, especially when I had a flexible schedule and didn't have to be anywhere until later in the afternoon. Or I let my work schedule dictate when I woke up and went to bed without considering what I wanted to do. We've already talked about adjusting your sleep habits on the blog, and for me - that was the key to creating a morning routine. I couldn't establish a consistent morning routine until I regulated my sleep schedule effectively.

Making teeny tiny changes at first can help shape your behavior.

Making a morning routine that works for you doesn't happen literally in one night. Hopefully, you find that reassuring rather than discouraging. I still find myself tweaking and changing my morning routine to make it "better" and more efficient. I look at the people who wake up at 5:00AM and have all these productive moments to themselves and think, "eventually." Eventually, I'll get there. I have to be kind to myself and not feel bad after I have a day of "sleeping in" or staying up too late. It happens! It took me years to get to a point where waking up at 6:00AM every morning feels normal and part of my routine.

The productivity expert, Michael Hyatt, recommends several steps to establishing a morning routine, including committing yourself to 21 days to form the habit. Although I would take it to the next step and look at the research that recommends 66 days to establish a new habit that sticks.

Beyond commitment to a schedule and getting enough sleep, what else can you do?

Here are some ideas for small changes that you can experiment with:

• What are you eating for breakfast? Protein and fruit or something that makes you want to go back to sleep (like sugary cereal or skipping it completely)? Do you drink coffee or juice in the morning? Keep track. Notice how it makes you feel.

• Are you looking at your phone first thing in the morning? Does that dictate the rest of your day? What if you wait to look at your phone until 30 minutes after getting up?

• Do you have time for a five- or ten-minute meditation? Sometimes taking a few minutes to center ourselves sets a great tone for the day. Personally, my best mornings start with a 20-minute meditation.

• Can someone (or something) help keep you accountable? For me, my dogs are on a pretty regimented routine in the morning. They know once I get up...they get to go outside and then eat breakfast. Their motivation is high to get me up and moving! Sometimes other people can help keep us accountable too - we just have to ask.

• What's a reward you could give yourself in the morning for following your routine? Could you spend some extra time searching for funny videos on YouTube later in the day? Or have a piece of chocolate for following through? You know what rewards work for you - try to use them to your advantage.

What other ideas do you want to try? Post below in the comments and I can follow up with you!

5 Mistakes People Make When Considering More Education

I have a lot of students and coaching clients ask me about going back to school. Either to finish a degree they once started or to start a new program, such as graduate school. I love to talk about the possibilities!

But I also hear a lot of mistakes in thinking when people are considering their options.

Here's the list with details about how mindset shifts can help reshape the question or concern.

1. I don't want to go anywhere that requires test scores.

I get why people say this one. They don't want to take another standardized test. Not to mention pay for something like the GRE and spend an entire Saturday taking it. I get it. But choosing what kind of program you might want to pursue solely based on whether or not they require testing? That is a short-sighted mistake. Instead, think about whether or not this program will help advance your career and understanding of the field.

One standardized test should not stand in the way of your potential for a program or not. There are many helpful books and flashcards on the market with practice tests. Finding a partner to study with can also be beneficial to keep you motivated before test day. 

2. I have to pay for all of this education myself.

Are you sure? And I don't mean asking family or friends for assistance. But maybe your current employer would be willing to consider it as a professional development? Especially if you plan to stay with the organization, but would like to move up? Try asking them before dismissing the idea.

There are also several opportunities for assistantships and stipends at the graduate level. Many times my students are surprised to hear that graduate programs want people to work for them while they go through the degree program. Your potential program  may not advertise it directly on their website, but it is important to ask admissions or the program director about potential opportunities.

Scholarships for all types of learners are also an excellent way to help pay some of the costs of a new education program. They aren't just for high school students. Scholarships can be in the most surprising places too. My electric company even offers scholarships!

Don't forget potential tax deductions for any loans you take out to further your education. Again, there are several ways to finance an education, even if it is beyond the traditional four-year degree right after high school.

3. My local university does not offer the program I want to take, so I can't do anything.

Here's another mindset shift - what if you didn't take courses at the local university? What if your new education program was offered online? While it doesn't seem like a revolutionary idea in 2016 to be taking online courses, I still get a lot of questions surrounding the idea. My students ask me if "online programs" are looked down on by potential employers. With our increasing capabilities to Skype and connect with people across the globe, the online classroom is quickly changing. People can be engaged in meaningful conversations and discussions in online learning environments very easily now.  

The confusion really stems from for-profit schools. 10-15 years ago, it seemed like only for-profit schools were the ones online. Now almost all schools are online. So read up on the type of institution you might be considering before dismissing online learning. Not everyone feels like an online learning environment would be a good fit for them, but I recommend trying a free online course (from anywhere) to test one out.

4. I don't have anything else to do, so I might as well go back to school.

I also see this phrased as, "I'll keep going to school because once I stop, I'll never go back," and "I can't find a job, so I'll go back to school." Using these phrases to justify more schooling can be difficult because it might not be the root of the problem. If more education seems like the default choice with no other options, it will be really hard to keep the motivation to keep going in that program. And you may find yourself in the exact same situation after you graduate.

Nothing else to do? Are you absolutely sure? Have you spent some time on informational interviews with people in the field? Are many people in your life recommending that you go back to further your career? Or are you defaulting to the decision? Avoid the default. Go into the decision with purpose and passion.

5. More education always means more job opportunities and a higher salary.

Well, that depends. What type of education are you planning on getting? Have you looked into the job opportunities in your area for someone with that level of education? My favorite resource for exploring these details is O*Net Online. You can look up any job and see how much education is typically required, all based on the U.S. Department of Labor statistics. Some graduate programs actually limit your choices in jobs, if you want to apply the degree directly to your career. For example, medical school prepares you to be a medical doctor. Sure, you can do other things and many people pursue other options. But compared to a bachelor's degree in biology...the person with a bachelor's degree in biology has a larger variety of jobs they can apply for compared to the medical doctor.

So more education isn't always better for your career and salary opportunities. Of course, I always think "learning" is good for everyone! But that's not always the same as formal education programs.

What do you think?

What other things do you ask yourself when you consider going on for more education? Any other barriers you see in your way? Comment below!

The Importance of Taking a True Day of Rest

We are currently on fall break at my university. As students were taking midterm exams and getting ready for break, I heard a lot of statements like, "I'm going to get a TON of work done over break," or "I can look up jobs during fall break, when I have more free time." While it is great to set goals and things we want to do during break, sometimes it is a little much.

We often overestimate what we can accomplish in a short amount of time.

When we have a whole day in front of us, with no classes or appointments or other commitments, it can seem like we should just "go, go, go" and get everything done. But productivity does not come that easily, especially after pushing ourselves really hard for awhile. My students that say, "I'll be able to do that once break gets here," forget the keyword in the sentence. Break. Breaks shouldn't be the time to push even harder.

Breaks should be used as opportunities to rest and rejuvenate.

Whether it is a week-long break, a holiday weekend, or just a Saturday afternoon you reserve for yourself, taking a break is just as important as the time you schedule to get things done. It seems counterintuitive, but taking a day of rest can actually better prepare you for the days where you need to work hard. You'll have more energy and motivation after a rest day.

Use these strategies to create rest periods and days.

Have you been convinced that rest is important yet? Sometimes it is tricky to actually create a rest day or period of time. I like to use these strategies:

• Block off a chunk of time in your calendar. Aim for an entire day, but do what you can. Do not let anyone else schedule that time with you. Make up another 'commitment' to tell people if they are going to scoff at the idea of a rest day. But reserve the time and keep it firm. That will make it more likely you will stick to it.

• Schedule rest time after a really stressful day or time. There's a reason why our fall break at school is right after midterms. Do you have a big presentation at work that you need to schedule a rest day after? Or know you'll need to catch up on rest after traveling for a weekend? I try to build these days in around stressful times, to help balance out my weeks.

• Think about what will make your scheduled time truly restful. If laying on the couch all day has absolutely no appeal to you and sounds more stressful than actually doing something...well - that's not a rest day for you. Maybe your rest involves watching a relaxing television show, eating some of your favorite foods, or spending time resting outside. Figure out what rest actually looks like for you so you have something to look forward to on rest days.

• Unplug. Actually unplug. I know, I know. It seems obvious. But we so rarely do it. Do not let emails or text messages or random Snapchats get into your rest time. Let it go. It will still be waiting for you when you return.

• After a rest time period or day, reflect on why it was successful. Did you get caught up on sleep? Did you feel like you could actually relax? What was it that made the time restful? Save this information for yourself so you know how to make the next rest day even better.

Another reason to take a rest day is to avoid guilt.

After fall break, I'll start to hear the usual statements from students. "I just didn't get everything done that I wanted to over break." "I ended up just sleeping the entire time instead of getting anything done." "I had big plans, but they all disappeared once I went home."

Yep, it's understandable. When we put too much on our plate and then don't get it done, we feel a cycle of guilt and regret. And no one needs to come back from a break feeling that way. Instead, know that you are intentionally and purposefully taking a break. When I come back from break, I plan to say, "I'm really glad I took the time to rest." We'll need it for the months ahead.

So what's your favorite way to rest and relax?

Tell me below in the comments or feel free to connect with me! I would love to hear your favorite strategies.

How to Find People Who Can Scaffold You

Scaffolding isn't just a term for buildings or small children.

As I teach my students about child development and all of the vocabulary words, I realize how important it is to share these words in our everyday language. Scaffolding is one of those terms. We usually compare it to roof shingles or buildings, the layering or stacking of pieces to help build the entire project. Children need scaffolding to help them navigate the world. Vygotsky developed our understanding of scaffolding and the zone of proximal development. As we learn new things, like tying our shoes or riding a bike, we are scaffolded by adults. Parents and teachers don't just say, "Ride your bike!" They show us how. They give us training wheels and stand nearby in the beginning. The examples of scaffolding in our childhood years are endless.

But we all need scaffolding and help throughout our lifespan.

Right now I am in a place where I am learning from so many people around me in this online world of sharing knowledge. Their insights and inspiration keep me motivated and continue my development as a professional. It is through the scaffolding process that I grow. When I want to learn more about any topic, I usually try to find someone who just learned about it themselves.

Often I find myself encouraging my students to reach out to other people in their classes for advice. Or I recommend contacting an alum who is currently working in the very same job the student wants to work at some day. I can give advice and provide some scaffolding, but who better to help scaffold than someone living the future they want?

There are hundreds of people out there, just like you.

Almost every day I tell someone, "You are not alone." This phrase connects us to each other and reminds us that somewhere - someone else is going through the same struggles, triumphs, and experiences. We just have to find them. Sure, finding friends is one thing. Relying on our family is also helpful. But finding people outside of our immediate zone? That seems tricky and almost scary. What if you reach out to someone and they dismiss you? What if you never hear back? What if they say no?

The benefits of reaching out almost always outweigh the negatives.

Here's where I say, "It couldn't hurt to try." Want to ask that professional about their job? What's the worst that could happen? They could say no? Is that really that bad? People usually want to help you. Out of the hundreds of people I have contacted over the years, I don't think anyone has ever told me a flat out "no" to a question. Sure, sometimes they don't reply. Probably because they are really busy or have other things going on. But people usually want to share their own experiences and help others just like them. So go into it with a positive attitude and know that it is worth a shot. Marie Forleo has some great advice about finding a mentor and what types of questions to ask.

I recommend starting with a simple question.

Often when I help students or clients reach out to people, they want to ask a dozen questions at once. But trust me, a really long email with a dozen questions is often overwhelming to the receiver. Start with a simple question. Do your homework online first - don't ask ,"Where did you go to college?" if it is right there on their easy to find Linkedin Profile. But maybe ask, "What helped with your decision to attend the University of Such and Such?" Provide an introduction about yourself and why you might be asking the one, simple question. That helps provide some context for the person, especially if you do not know them at all. That will get the conversation started and it can blossom from there.

Find people at a variety of stages around you.

Think about who is two steps ahead of you and who is four steps ahead of you. Often it is easy to find people who are WAY ahead of us, admire them from afar, and secretly wonder how they do it. Those people are usually famous and have thousands of people surrounding them. That's great inspiration, but we're talking about scaffolding here. Someone who can help you with your next steps, within your own zone of proximal development. So you want to work for a particular organization? Instead of reaching out to the CEO, why not find an employee who just started working there? And someone who has been there for a few years? 

Are you a university student? It is great to talk to your college friends and parents about your next steps. But what about someone who just graduated from your university? What is their life like? What do they wish they had known when they were at your level? Where do they want to be in five years?

The other benefit to scaffolding is being able to scaffold others.

Finding people ahead of you helps scaffold your development. But I also love to connect with people who are in a zone I just exited. For example, I've been blogging for several months now. Maybe there's another professor out there who needs some scaffolding on how to make their own blog. I'm just a few steps ahead of them. And helping them reminds me how far I have come in my own progress. Helping others is a great source of satisfaction. It helps us humans feel connected!

So who can be "in your tribe" of scaffolders?

Who do you want to reach out to? Can they become part of your crew or "tribe?" You can learn from each other and keep building each other up - scaffolding along the way of development. I would love to hear about your own experiences with scaffolding, so post below in the comments!

How You Can Benefit from Adjusting Your Sleep Habits

Sleep seems like an obvious piece of our lives, yet so many of us abuse it.

I often get asked questions like, "How are you so productive?" or "Where do you find the time to get everything done?" While there are many answers, the main answer is sleep. I get enough sleep every night and I feel well-rested most of the time. People usually dismiss me quickly as if that is too obvious. I think sometimes they would rather hear me say I drink some magical potion instead of talking about sleep.

I consider myself "reformed" on my sleep behaviors.

I like talking about the power of sleep so much because I have been on both sides of the sleep continuum. I used to say things like, "I can sleep when I die," or "Maybe I don't need as much sleep as everyone else." I would stay up around the clock during college, trying to get more done and to be more successful. But it didn't really work for me. I started to forget large chunks of memories and I wasn't retaining new information. I was gaining weight and feeling stressed out all the time. I didn't know why I felt so tired all the time...which sounds like an obvious statement, but we so undervalue sleep in our society, we actually wonder why we're exhausted when we haven't slept well for months or even years. I changed my behaviors in my mid-twenties and really embraced my sleep "revolution" after graduate school.

Side note - I have never had a medical condition related to sleep. If you struggle with narcolepsy or chronic insomnia, please talk to your doctor. I am not providing medical advice here, just my own examples of what has worked, backed up by research in the field.

Rules I follow about sleep:

• My bed time is 10pm and I wake up at 6am. Every day. Exceptions are rare.

• I start to get ready to fall asleep at 9pm. This includes regular routines such as brushing my teeth, not looking at screens (phones or computers), and generally relaxing.

• Limited caffeine after 12pm. A cup of coffee at 4pm would probably keep me up all night at this point. I stick to coffee and caffeine in the morning.

It took me several months to establish these rules for myself.

Getting one night of really good sleep is not revolutionary. But 300 nights in a row? That changed my life. I do not need my alarm clock in the morning - my body just wakes up at 6am. My 20-year-old self would have been completely baffled that this was possible for me. Persistence and dedication to my rules have really paid off for me. I have a lot more energy, which results in having the energy to exercise, which helped me lose weight and make better food decisions...the benefits all stack on top of each other. For me, I know it started with changing my sleep habits.

Small adjustments are the key to successful sleep habits.

If you are someone who is currently struggling with sleep, trying to follow my rules isn't going to work for you. Those rules took me time. You have your own pattern that you need to find. So I recommend small adjustments at first.

Examples of small adjustments:

• Track your sleep behaviors. Maybe you currently say, "I try to go bed by 12am." But some nights that drifts into 2am and other nights it is 11pm. Do you really know when you're going to sleep? Track it. Fitbits or a simple log next to your bed are helpful for tracking.

• Add an extra half hour to your regular sleep time. Sometimes I hear my students try to make really big goals like, "I usually go to bed at 2am, but I'm going to go to bed at 11pm now!" Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's going to be really hard to stick to on a regular basis. But what if you say, "I'm going to go to bed at 1:30am for three days in a row." Start small.

• Download an app that decreases the blue light coming from your screens. I like F.lux, but there are many options out there. Use it for a few weeks to see if it helps.

• Limit your screen time before bedtime. Keeping your cell phone under your pillow should probably be the first thing to go. Set it aside. I wrote about not having a smartphone at all in a different blog post - it helps my sleep habits.

These are just some small examples. I can't emphasize how important sleep is to me enough. I shout it from the rooftops almost any chance I get! If you want to learn more about the science and research behind sleep, I highly recommend this post by James Clear. The National Sleep Foundation also has several articles about sleep. Understanding how sleep works, making small adjustments, and building on those good habits have been my secret to successful sleep.

What about you? Are you currently struggling with sleep? Or have you found some helpful tips? Share them below in the comments!

The Unexpected Benefits From Giving Up My Smartphone

About eighteen months ago I did the "unthinkable" and gave up my smartphone.

I had been using a smartphone for over five years at that point. And I realized a few things. First, I was always connected, online, and available. I have Wi-Fi at work and home. I didn't really need to be spending $50+ on my smartphone. And maybe I'd even feel better and more productive if I gave it up. That seems obvious, right?

Most people react with horror to the idea that I only have a flip phone.

I get a lot of the same reactions when people find out I don't have a smartphone. They think I never had one and refuse to "give in." But I did give in, for almost five years. Or they think that I must be deprived. Don't worry - I still find a way to watch ridiculous videos on YouTube. I'm still almost always connected, just not 24/7. And I get to control when I am connected. Some people decide that it is nice for me to do this, but THEY could never give up THEIR smartphone. Well, you could. If you wanted to.

Without a smartphone, I can spot someone who is addicted from a mile away.

Most people I meet are addicted to their smartphones. It's something you notice when you don't have one. They get distracted during conversations. They pull it out when they are bored. I'm left standing there, enjoying nature...or trying to be present in the grocery line instead of distracted. I don't wonder where "the time has gone." Or "what just happened" at an event. If you have a smartphone, and don't think you're addicted - I'm here to you that you probably are. Smartphones help feed the "attention residue" problem Dr. Cal Newport writes about. It's hard to get back on track even after "just checking" your smartphone for a second. Or hearing it buzz in your backpack, as many of my students do in the classroom.

I have been building up my ability to "unplug."

Since I've given up my smartphone, I've been able to go for longer and longer times of unplugging. No email, internet, or related distractions (people could call me in case of a big emergency). Sometimes I take just a day. The world does not end. No one needs to talk to me online that desperately (much to my surprise sometimes). I've even gone unplugged for an entire week. And I already wrote about my silent retreat weekend. I'm not sure I could have gone on that trip if I had a smartphone. It's really great to be able to walk away from technology for awhile, as you can imagine. Most people would probably start shaking after an hour. You have to build yourself up to long stretches.

I have found replacements for the parts I really miss.

• I do really miss being able to video chat with my sisters. But I make up for it by intentionally calling them more often. And of course, actually going to visit.

• Texting has just turned into back and forth emails. For people I want to text, of course. If we want to stay connected, we'll find a way.

• I thought I would miss my running app, that tracked every step and told me when to run and when to walk (when I was first starting). But now I just run. Not every run has to be timed or perfect.

• Traveling can sometimes be problematic. I want Google Maps for directions or I want the Yelp app to evaluate a restaurant for me. More often than not, I'm with someone who has a smartphone, so it is fine. But even when I'm alone, I find I figure out the road myself. Printed Google Maps directions left off five steps? I can figure it out!

• I still have a Kindle Fire at home. I use it when I don't want to open up my laptop. But often I find myself saying, "No more screen time tonight." I've had enough. It makes me pick up that book I want to read. Or the craft I want to work on. Or just spending more time petting my dogs. And that feels great.

I don't wonder where the time has gone.

I know where my time is going. I am always trying to be more present. Less distracted. Actually focused on my tasks. Not having a smartphone helps me with those goals. And yes, I still marvel, "that was TEN YEARS ago?" from time to time. But I'm not shocked or startled by it. I'm spending my time the way I want to. I know what year it is and what goals I have for the rest of the year. Yes, Christmas will always be here before we know it. Be present in the mean time.

And maybe eventually I'll return to smartphone land.

Once you have that extra $50 in your pocket, plus phone costs, it is hard to imagine going back. But I can't Uber without a smartphone. I can't Instagram. Most text messages from companies now are links. Eventually, I'll probably have to rejoin the world of the smartphone. And there will be many great things about it. But for now, I'm doing just fine without it. And the best part is I know I can live without it.

Update: I returned to smartphone land after 18 months without one. This blog post continues to be popular with readers, every single day. This wasn’t the only change I made to better my life. Read some of my other tips and tricks here.

How to Really Focus on Your Work

Have you ever had a ton of stuff to do on your task list, but can't seem to get any of it actually done?

It's a common feeling. I feel it myself from time to time. I have these big projects I want to spend more time on, but distractions and other smaller projects keep getting in the way. Or maybe you're a student and you have a big test coming up, but you keep procrastinating instead of studying for it.

Sometimes we need to really, truly focus on our work.

We start to realize that we need no distractions. Maybe you have tried some of these techniques before:

• Going to a coffee shop to work instead of your office or home.

• Hiding your cell phone for a stretch of time.

• Disconnecting your WiFi or enabling an app like Freedom to deter online activity.

• Asking your colleagues or roommates to "leave you alone" for a stretch of time while you work.

• Having a work or study session with a friend to keep you accountable.

All of these techniques can be really helpful. But why? 

Cal Newport calls it the skill of "deep work." When we allow ourselves to focus and spend time really engaging in deep work, we get more done. We're more productive and creative. We feel accomplishment from our work sessions, instead of wondering where all of our time went. I have had several recent session of deep work and I am amazed at what I can accomplish during them.

It makes perfect sense to focus on our tasks, but our world has become so distracting. 

It can take awhile to work yourself up to big sessions of deep work. I recommend trying the Pomodoro Technique to get yourself started. Spend 25 minutes completely undistracted on your task. Whatever you need to do to get rid of those distractions (see the list above). You can build up your time in increments. Soon you'll be spending 90 minutes engaged in deep work.

So what has helped you focus on deep work before? What can you commit to right now for focusing? 

Tell us below in the comments so we can share ideas!

How to Effectively Deal with your Back to College Stress

Maybe everything was sunshine and rainbows when you were thinking about going back to college in early August. You were most worried about your new wardrobe or which colors of pens to purchase.

But then reality set in. Only a few weeks into the semester and your stress is already building.

Yep, I get it. I may be on the "other side" as a college professor, but being on this side of things helps me see your perspective. So many papers to write and so many deadlines. Your professors expect a lot out of you, you want to spend time on your social life...not to mention juggling work and thinking about your future career. It's a lot to deal with all at once! Especially if you had a nice break this summer.

The good news is you are not alone and there are many strategies that can help.

Many other college students feel the same stress - I can promise you that. Maybe they don't look like it in class, but many of your peers are dealing with the exact same feelings. Do you hang out with the people who feed into your stress, just constantly talking about it? Or do you DO something about your stress? Well you must be ready to take action since you're reading this blog post! Surround yourself with people who are ready to take action and actually do something about their stress.

Map out your entire semester by weekly tasks and activities.

This sounds like a lot of work, but just a few minutes mapping out your semester can help you see the bigger picture. You can draw something simple or make a fancy Excel file. Either way, visualize the semester and the weeks in front of you. Do you have three exams in one week? Or a big project due before November? Map it out so you can see where the most "stressful" times will occur. 

Now can you dial back on some of your other activities during the most stressful weeks? If week eight looks like it will be jam-packed with exams,  papers, and projects, then can you find a way to work less at your job that week? Or make sure you have no ambitions to binge watch something on Netflix? Knowing that a big week is coming up helps you plan ahead. You can also warn others around you about your most stressful week. Tell your long distance friend that they might not hear from you until week nine or ten. Mapping is a great tool that helps you break down projects and the semester into manageable pieces. Think of that classic saying - you have to eat the elephant one bite at a time...and you'll be taking your semester one day or week at a time.

Schedule "worry sessions" for yourself.

A lot of times our stress is caused by the worry we have. You worry about your future career. You worry about what you said in class. Or how you reacted to a friend. Or what your sibling is up to back home. The list of things you might be worrying about is endless. But thinking about all of that worry all the time wears you down. And leads you to say, "I'm stressed out." Some of the worry is manageable through action steps, like we talked about above. But other times the worry just doesn't seem to go anywhere.

So what if you scheduled a "worry session" each day for yourself? You could say, "Between 8:00-8:30pm I am going to just sit and worry." The idea is that as worries start to pop up in your day, you say, "I'll save these for later," instead of stewing about them throughout your day. Try it out. See if it helps with the rest of your day. Now you might want to follow it up with a session of mindfulness meditation or relaxation. But "saving" your worries for later may help you recognize that your day does not have to be consumed by them.

* And if you deal with any anxiety disorders, please follow your counselor's or therapist's recommendations for your care. Of course!

Spend ten minutes writing about why you value your education.

I know, more writing in your life is just what you need! But hear me out. Writing out your personal values has a lot of research behind it. So let's tailor it to your education. Why are you working on your degree? Why are you in college at all? List out the reasons and hang on to the list. Revisiting the list from time to time can help remind you about your core values related to education. You'll get through this stress and this semester. Especially because you value it.

So those are some quick tips for you to effectively deal with back to college stress.

What else do you use on a regular basis to help deal with your stress? Share below in the comments!