Why I Joined The Life Coach School Certification with Brooke Castillo

I’ve completed a lot of training in my lifetime. This is proven by the fact that I earned a Ph.D. in 2013! But even since earning a doctoral degree, you may be surprised to hear that The Life Coach School Certification process is the certificate I’m most proud of. It’s the first one that I earned simply because I wanted to. I didn’t do it for external validation or praise. I did it for me.

Let me take you back to the beginning of the story. In 2016, I was going through a career crisis. I was finishing up my third year as an assistant professor in my dream job, but it had been a difficult year for me. I was struggling with teaching. Our university president had just resigned. And a project I was emotionally invested in came to a screeching halt. 

I was devastated. I found myself searching for what was next. 

Getting Started with Life Coaching

So I dipped my toes into coaching that summer and into the fall. I found Brooke Castillo’s podcast in a random search and started listening. I proceeded to complete a foundational course in an ICF accredited program and then got to work coaching. My first paid coaching client started in January 2017. 

I was thrilled to be doing something that I felt connected to. I started coaching more clients, but then I started to run into a wall. While some of my clients were taking actions and getting results, some of them weren’t and I didn’t know why. I wanted to help them.

As I continued listening to Brooke’s podcast, I absorbed more of her wisdom. (Honestly, I was very suspicious of the fake nails and eyelashes. That’s not how we typically roll in academia! I wanted to see authentic evidence.) As reticent as I was, the more I read the books she recommended, the more I realized she really knew what she was talking about.

In the summer of 2018, I began wondering about my business. I questioned whether I should keep moving forward with it. If I should continue spending my free time coaching. But then it happened, as if by magic: Brooke revealed her first online certification cohort.

Something inside of me screamed YES. You have to do this! You must make this happen. I had heard the siren call when she first opened up Self-Coaching Scholars and ignored it. Now was my time and I wouldn’t let the opportunity pass me by. 

But I was PETRIFIED of spending that kind of money. I had spent less money on my car than this program cost. I had never paid for tuition in school as I was always on scholarship or fully funded in graduate school. (I took out loans for living expenses, for sure.) But this? This was a huge deal. I was on a mission to get out of debt and this felt like moving in the opposite direction.

The Life Coach School Certification

Even so, I took the leap and signed up. That’s also when I had my first experience with quality coaching for myself. I hired someone to help me work on my money beliefs (fortuitously, she’s now my accountant). A Life Coach School certified coach helped me to process through my thoughts and fears as we geared up for the program starting in October 2018. I had so many thoughts to manage but, through that coaching, I overcame my constant worrying.

And then I became unstoppable! 

Learning all of the tools and techniques from Brooke, I knew exactly how to help my clients get results. Now I have the model and I can understand what keeps a person from taking action. It’s because of the feelings that drive them. Circumstances are neutral. But it’s thoughts that create feelings. And the good news? I get to choose my thoughts.

I couldn’t have anticipated the monumental results I got simply from showing up for myself. Just from being coached, I was able to: 

• Become a time ninja as I balanced coaching and being a professor.

• Figure out with my husband how to reconnect after years of him traveling and me “being busy.”

• Become a confident mom when we adopted out of foster care.

• Reconnect with my own mother after years of not talking.

• Earn back all of the money I invested in certification (and more) within 6 months.

• Give myself permission to trust myself and make decisions for myself instead of asking everyone else around me what I should do.

• Stop outrunning myself.

• Deal with my emotions (boredom, worry, overwhelmedness, etc).

• Realize I wasn’t supposed to be happy all of the time. (100% happiness is a myth.)

And then I created an amazing result. Brooke asked me to be on the podcast.

Brooke Castillo’s Life Coach Podcast 

Her podcast is regularly in the top 250 list of all podcasts. This was huge. If you had asked me in 2016, when I started listening to her, “Do you know you’ll be on a future episode?” I would have looked at you quizzically. In 2018, I might have said, “Yeah, maybe in 2025?” 

But here I am, on one of Brooke’s episodes in 2020, sharing my enthusiasm with the world!

Related to that experience, I was also flown out to Dallas for a photo/video shoot to talk about my experience in Coach Certification. It all happened in the same week and I only had about two weeks to prepare. You know your true priorities when an event like this happens - I could have easily said my schedule was full or I was too busy. But I dropped everything!

In order from top left to bottom right - Andrea Scalici, Lauren Cash, Elizabeth Salazar, Lisa Hatlestad, Lindsay Dotzlaf, Janet Archer, myself, and Carrie Marshall

I was privileged to spend the day in Dallas surrounded by other incredible women. The conversations in between videos (and in such a fancy house!) were mind-blowing. I saw the evidence of what it’s like to put yourself in the room with smart people. These women were mirrors for myself and what I had also accomplished. 

As I soaked everything in, I heard earth-shattering statements just casually mentioned on the car ride or at dinner. We all helped each other to shine brighter. That trip gave me so much energy to move forward. 

Although Dallas was magical, I did need to come back home. But after being surrounded by these encouraging women, I am more trusting of myself now. I used this experience to anchor myself, to remember how far I’ve come and where I’m headed.

Is Life Coaching for You?

I want the same kind of energy and motivation for you to accomplish your dreams. I want you to “trust your knowing”, as Glennon Doyle puts it. When an opportunity taps you on the shoulder and you feel pulled to it - you go for it. That’s what certification was about for me. Listening to and acting on something I truly wanted to do, just for myself. 

You probably have things like this too. Are you pushing them away or leaning into them? Even if it’s scary. It’s time to take the leap! 

Why We Self-Sabotage as Academics

Photo by Monika Kozub on Unsplash

We’re a successful group of people, we academics are. We have climbed school and career ladders that other people only dream about but rarely accomplish. We know how to gather our gold stars and make things happen within our universities and higher education institutions.

Yet, many of us struggle with aspects of our lives outside of academia. We overeat. We overdrink. We procrastinate on a big project we really want. We struggle with finances. Or in our relationships with other people. We walk around with the myth that “we can’t have it all,” and we very often tend to get in our own way. 

Dr. Gay Hendricks provides vocabulary around these ideas in his book, The Big Leap. In his book, Dr. Hendricks describes what he refers to as the “upper limit problem” which is often experienced by us in academia. 

Wondering what this looks like? Well, this often happens when we publish something amazing or when we win the grant money, but then we can’t seem to relish it. Instead, we snap ourselves back to reality and find a way to sabotage our success. We downplay it with others and move on to the next goal.

But we don’t have to do that! Instead, we can discover our giftings and live out of the places where we excel most. 

Four Zones of the Big Leap

Dr. Hendricks writes about the four zones we find ourselves in:

Zone of Incompetence

• The things we’re just not good at.

There are lots of skills we don’t have and aren’t interested in developing. For instance, I have no desire to learn how to fix things in my car so I typically have no problem leaving that up to my husband. A few weeks ago I thought, “I can change my own headlight. I’ll watch a YouTube video.” I watched for a few minutes and realized it was more complicated than I thought. Instead of continuing to spend time figuring it out, I let it go. It’s in my zone of incompetence and I’m okay with that! 

Zone of Competence

• Things we’re okay at.

I’m a competent cook. I did spend time building cooking skills in my teenage years (thank you, 4-H!). I enjoyed it then. But now, it’s not something I want to pursue. I can make a good dinner, yes. But who is even better at it? My husband. Cooking is in a different zone for him than for me. So if we put that on his plate (pun intended), we’re both winning.

Zone of Excellence

• Things we’re good at and have developed skills in.

In my own Zone of Excellence, I have many characteristics, such as enthusiasm, discipline, connecting people, warmth/kindness, optimism, joy, intelligence, reflection, and analytic skills. It’s comfortable for me to be here. I can tap into these strengths in a variety of ways.

Zone of Genius

• Where we really shine and excel when we’re in the flow.

Finding your zone of genius is like thinking about Russian nesting dolls. Where are you when you’re in the flow? That’s the first layer. 

For me, my Zone of Genius begins in a classroom or a coachings session. But then, I consider that coaching is all about helping others learn. Digging deeper into that, I realize that I’m at my best when I am learning and others are learning too. As the layers are peeled off, something more detailed emerges from inside and I discover more specifically where my Genius Zone lies.

Strengths and Superpowers

Dr. Katie Linder has a comparable concept with different language. She calls them “strengths” (Zone of Excellence), and “superpowers” (Zone of Genius). Strengths are great but the Zone of Genius is where greatness is fully amplified. It’s where you naturally do well. It’s the place where you operate so automatically that it can very quickly trigger the imposter syndrome. We wonder why others are praising us for something we’re so good at! 

How do we find our Zone of Genius? Well, it’s not always easy and it takes a bit of work. In the search for our superpowers, we ask ourselves questions like:

• What do I love doing? 

• What have I always enjoyed doing, even when I was a kid?

• What would I do if I didn’t have any barriers?

• How do I like to spend my free time?

• What fits me so naturally that I almost feel like I’m cheating?

Fighting Hidden Barriers

Hidden barriers are ways we get in our own way of living in our Zone of Genius. We doubt ourselves and pull back. We start to shine and throw up lots of obstacles. We think it shouldn’t be this easy, so we make it difficult on ourselves. We do this when we’ve experienced lots of Zone of Genius moments.

As with the number of zones, we find four roadblocks that keep us from functioning in our sweet spot: 

Hidden Barrier #1 - Fundamentally Flawed/Fear of Failure

In this barrier, we convince ourselves that we are not worthy of enjoying our genius so we play it safe and sit on the sidelines. We fear that we won’t succeed so we don’t even try. 

Hidden Barrier #2 - Disloyalty and Abandonment 

Here we believe the message that others will turn away from us if we dwell in our Zone of Genius. We assume that others in our community will feel threatened or otherwise upset and we will ultimately end up all alone. 

Hidden Barrier #3 - More Success Brings Burdens

With this barrier we tend to downplay the lives of celebrities to make ourselves feel better about our lack of success. We might have ideas such as: “I’d be/have an even bigger burden than I am/do right now if I became successful.”

Personally, I often think thoughts like this: “Well, at least no one is looking in my windows or wanting to take my trash. If I were famous like Dr. Brene Brown, I’d have to deal with those things. And who wants that?” It’s a point of self-sabotage meant to make me feel better about my less-than-ness. 

Hidden Barrier #4 - The Fear of Outshining

We send ourselves messages like these: “I don’t want to get in other people’s way. I want them to have success too, so I’ll play it small in order to let them shine.”

It’s so easy to become complacent and allow barriers to keep us from our genius. In fact, I see it all the time with my clients who don’t really want to live in their zone of genius. They are afraid and they continue an inner monologue that justifies their fears. Ultimately, they want to play small and hide.

We can choose to get out of our own way by only saying yes to things that are in our Zone of Genius.

Consider making this commitment as Dr. Hendricks suggests: “I am 100% committed to living in my Zone of Genius.”

And that means saying no to a lot of great opportunities so that you can say yes to the perfect opportunity! Why busy yourself with doing only those things you are competent at so that you aren’t available when the true, genius opportunities show their faces? 

Photo by Edu Lauton on Unsplash

Living It Out 

Now that I’ve introduced the zone of genius concept to you, it’s time for application. Personally, I needed a life coach to hold the space for me to explore these ideas. I could certainly carve out the time to sit down and make myself think about it. But I need prompts and someone to guide my thought process. So I use a coach. Having someone else to hold the space for you to discover your superpowers makes all the difference! 

Examples of Success 

Doing this type of work brings such clarity to daily decisions. Because I know when I’m in my Zone of Genius, I know exactly what to say no to. Sometimes I have to turn down what seem to be amazing opportunities because I know it’s not in my Zone of Genius.

For instance, I could analyze statistics all day, every day. It’s in my Zone of Excellence! It’s fun for me! But is it in my Zone of Genius, where I love being? Not anymore. So I say no to it. Even when it seems so attractive.  

Another way to think about it is on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being something you would love to do. If it’s a 7, it’s probably in your Zone of Excellence, but not your Genius Zone. We have to be wise about saying no to 7 opportunities, even though they are better than 3-5 opportunities!  

Right now, coaching is in my Zone of Genius. And I would be honored to be your coach to help you figure out the difference between your Zones of Excellence and Genius. Read my take on why academics should or shouldn’t hire a life coach.

You can stop settling for your Zone of Excellence. Take the leap and let me help you to also live in your Zone of Genius!

How To Stop Overeating Due To Semester Stress [Tips To Unwind Without Giving In]

Photo by Zach Miles on Unsplash

Stress eating or rather emotional eating can alter your weight goals – the secret is to search for new ways to relieve semester stress without overeating.

So much truth lies behind the common phrase "stress eating." Daily or occasional stress, the unwanted hormones it releases, and the harmful effects of high-fat, sugary "comfort foods" drive people toward overeating.

Why do academics stress eat during the semester?

Women in academia make no exception from stress-coping actions. Stress during the semester also seems to affect food preferences. While during summer, the usual diet consists of fruits and vegetables, from September until the spring, the preference is towards carbohydrates. Also,  according to studies, physical or emotional distress (something academics generally need to deal with at a high level), increases the intake of high-fat foods as well as foods high in sugar, and sometimes both. 

However, we are aware that overeating at the office isn't the only stress-related action that can add unwanted pounds. Stress causes academics to lose sleep, exercise less, and over drink, all of which can lead to excess weight.

Why Is It So Important To Understand Emotional Eating?

Before starting to fight against your overeating habits and learning how to unwind without giving in, you need to comprehend what lies behind your comfort food coping mechanisms.

Many women experience emotional eating at one time or another during a stressful week. It could appear as eating a harmless bag of chips when bored or indulging in a chocolate bar after a difficult day at work.

Be aware of the stress eating factors 

Some of the stress eating factors are intricate and can involve some of the following situations:👇

• Childhood development

In some cases, emotional eating is a learned behavior from the early years of life. What happens is that in many cases during childhood, parents provide their children with sweet treats to help them cope with a difficult day or situation, or as a reward for something they did well.

And then, as this type of behavior turns into a habit, it is no wonder that a child who gets a cookie (to help them better cope with the difficult situation) after getting a bad grade on a test, for instance, can turn into an adult who reaches for a whole box of cookies after a rough day at work.

What this example shows is that the origin of emotional eating goes way back sometimes, in which case breaking the habit can feel extremely challenging.

• The struggle of coping with emotions

It is pretty common for women to struggle with uncomfortable feelings and emotions. This triggers an instinctual behavior or a need to fix or even annihilate these negative feelings as fast as possible - which can, in turn, contribute to unhealthy attitudes.

And keep in mind that emotional eating is not only connected to negative feelings. One can eat a handful of candy at a fun Christmas party, or eat excessively at a fancy New Year’s Eve dinner. So, it's important to be aware of overeating due to thoughts about the location of the food - such as dinner parties, the holiday season, etc.

• The physical effect of stress

According to studies there are also physical reasons why stress and powerful emotions can influence a person to overeat. Here are some of the most important ones you need to pay close attention to:

• High cortisol levels: In the initial phase, stress causes the appetite to decrease in order for your body to deal with the difficult situation. If the stress level does not decrease, another hormone, cortisol, is released. Cortisol is also responsible for increased appetite and can lead you to overeat.

• Cravings: A second phase is initiated as high cortisol levels from stress that can increase specific cravings for foods rich in sugar or fat. Stress is linked with high levels of hunger hormones as well, which may also add up to cravings for unhealthy foods.

Photo by Fabian Møller on Unsplash

How to relieve stress without overeating

The first action you need to take to free yourself from emotional eating is to know first hand the triggers and circumstances that apply in your life.

Try keeping a food diary or weekly journal to help to identify situations when you are more inclined to eat because of emotional instead of physical hunger.

Tracking your behavior is another way you can catch some insight into your eating habits.

The behavior you could keep track of may include the following: 👇

• Patterns of hunger levels, measuring them on a 1–10 scale

• What you are going through and if it is something difficult and unpleasant

• What  you are feeling, whether bored, angry or happy

Another option could be to choose professional help in order to get the guidance you need in your journey. It can also be helpful to talk to a life coach to discuss other ways to break the cycle of emotional eating and improve your way of living your life.

A weight coach may also be able to help you with discovering additional information on creating positive eating habits and a better relationship with food.

Next, you may want to consider brainstorming ideas for means to counterbalance the triggers you will identify during your self-inquiry.

Other suggestions that can help counter stress 👇

Meditation

Many studies demonstrate that meditation diminishes stress, even though a big part of the research was focused on high blood pressure and heart disease related to stress. Meditation can influence you to become more aware of you food choices. With constant practice, you will be able to hold back the impulse to instantly grab comfort food and start to inhibit this impulse.

If you are overeating because of your daily stress, you could try mindful yoga at home, meditating in your office, or taking a walk along campus to help yourself deal with your emotions.

Exercise 

While your cortisol levels may change depending on the intensity and length of your exercise, in general, physical exercise can counteract some of the adverse effects of stress. Some activities, like yoga and tai chi, blend components of both exercise and meditation.

If you tend to eat when bored, you may want to choose a new book that seems stimulating to start reading, or pick a new hobby, maybe one that includes the outdoors, that could provide a challenge.

Social support 

Surrounding yourself with friends, family, and other sources of social support may have a buffering effect on the levels of stress that you experience on a daily basis. 

Studies suggest that people working in a stressful environment, like hospital emergency departments, seem to have better mental health if they are provided with adequate social support. But even if you do not live or work in circumstances where the stakes are as high you still need support from time to time from your friends, close family, and/or professionals.

• If you start to eat excessively when you are sad, you may want to call a good friend, take your dog for a run, or plan a quick getaway to cope with your negative feelings.

However, when stress eating occurs on a daily basis at your job or it becomes the predominant course of action to handle your emotions when you face a stressful situation, then your life, physical health, overall happiness, and weight can be negatively influenced. 
Let me help you work through stress with the right approach in order for you to feel great today and every day.

How to Succeed on the Academic Job Market This Year

Are you on the academic job market this season? You're searching for tips and tricks to succeed on the market, that's how you landed on this page.

And you want some reassurance that you're not the only one on this journey. You've come to the right place.

I am a full-time, waiting to hear on tenure, assistant professor of psychology. My institution is a small, liberal arts Catholic university. I transitioned immediately from my doctoral program to teaching here full-time. Even six years ago, it seemed like a miracle that I did not have to complete a postdoc first. Many of my colleagues starting at the same time did complete postdocs. Or they were transitioning from visiting professor positions. I have served on hiring committees within my institution in the past few years.

That's my background, but let's talk about you. You're wondering how you can succeed on the academic job market.

First, I recommend reading resources about how to write the documents.

There's the cover letter. The teaching statement or teaching philosophy. The research philosophy or research statement. Sometimes institutions also request written statements about their mission or values. Understanding the nuts and bolts of writing each document is crucial for success.

But the hard part isn't the physical writing. You've been writing for decades at this point. You know how to put sentences together.

The hard part is dealing with all the emotions that get tied up in writing. I remember agonizing over my own documents. My writing was fine. The agony came from all the thoughts about the documents:

• "I'm not good enough."

• "Why would anyone want to hire me?"

• "No one is going to want to hire me."

• "I should have published more."

• "What if they judge me for phrasing it this way?"

• "I am a horrible writer after all."

• "I should have gone after more grants or funding."

• "Who came up with the word pedagogy anyways? Let me Google that and fall down a rabbit hole of searching."

Those thoughts would cycle around in loops in my head. The key to breaking through the thought patterns was to catch myself in the pattern. And then reach out for help to trusted resources.

Friends who are also on the job market can be a great source of comfort. Graduate advisors and mentors can give helpful support. Therapists and counselors can help you process your thoughts and beliefs.

As an academic coach, I help my clients on the job market on several fronts:

• First, we make sure they have built in the time on their schedule to actually write the document.

• Then, we strategize about how to stick to the schedule instead of ignoring it.

• We talk about barriers that might get in the way and how to overcome them. Procrastination isn't isolated to our students!

• We talk about the things that are not obvious to outsiders. For example, a job posting may seem broad and open to any qualified candidate. But a little research can lead to understanding what the department actually wants.

• I read over documents to help edit and make suggestions.

• I cheer them on as their determination and resolve starts to waver. It's a journey and they need support at time points along the way.

Best of luck on your job search! I’m here to help. In the meantime, check out my tips for reclaiming your time.

List your tips and tricks below in the comments so others can learn from your experiences!