Avoiding a Day Off Because of What Happens on the Other End?

Do these thoughts come into your head when you start thinking about taking a break or vacation?

• I’m just going to be overwhelmed with work when I get back.

• When I return, I’m going to be struggling to keep up.

• If I don’t take the break or vacation, I can’t get overwhelmed because I’m not falling behind.

If so, we’re going to talk about this today. A lot of my professor clients are part of the “Overworking Club,” as I call it. And I know, because I spent a lot of time in that club. Now that I know on the other end how to deal with it, I am helping others. I've got three tips for you about how to solve this issue in your life and to take the days off and the vacation that you want. 

List out why you want to take a break

Simple as that. On a piece of paper, list out why you want to take a break. By writing it on paper, we are making it very concrete for your brain. Tell me what you would do with five hours in a row in your week for yourself. Not for work, not email, not even family responsibilities. For whatever you want to do.

What would it be? What would you do? And how would you feel during that time?

That is what is going to give you energy. That is what is going to re-energize you.

Whatever it is you want to do, write it down.

Define what the break actually means

It is so easy to replace work with work.

For example, you take a day off from work and being away from your computer, and then you transfer that energy into housework, like folding the laundry.

The break we are talking about here isn’t a new to-do list at home. So when we define what the break actually is, we’re telling our brain that what we’re supposed to do is *insert your ideal break or vacation here.* And then we’re not going to feel guilty on the other end of it. Which leads us to the third step…

Corral your brain on the other end of the break

This is the part that drives you crazy. Your brain will say, after a break, you know, we really should have been in our email. Or we could have totally gotten more work done.

But instead of believing those thoughts, you’re going to remind your brain why you were taking your break and what you were supposed to do (basically, not work).

And when you remind your brain that you feel better after the break and more energized, then your brain realizes that yes, the break was actually good for you. You have more energy, you took time for yourself, and you don’t feel all of the overwhelm and anxiety during the break.

These three tips will change how you approach taking breaks and help you to wrap your mind around the mindset issues that you have with taking one. 

I would love to know what you're going to do with your break and how you're going to spend it and how you're going to feel on the other end. Send me a message and tell me the details because it's going to be amazing and you deserve it!

Stop Believing You're Not Good Enough To Be A Professor

Tell me if this is you sometimes:

• I really don’t think I’m good enough to be a professor.

• I don’t really deserve this job.

• It was kind of a fluke that I got that grant.

• No one should read my book.

• *insert any other thought you have pertaining to why you might not be good enough*

I hear this from my clients all the time. As a certified life and weight coach for professors, I help professors reclaim five hours of their week, every week for themselves. And one of the ways you're not saving time right now is by telling yourself these stories about your work. Because you start believing these stories, that you’re not good enough. 

And you might even try to gather evidence to support these beliefs. 

Like, “I don’t really deserve this job; they just felt bad for me.”

“I’m not really good enough to be a professor; my students are just being nice to me.”

“No one should read my book; they published it because there were no other options.”

All of these reasons start to build and build and they become your reality.

But what I want you to do to combat this is simple.

I want you to write down the story you are telling yourself.

Write down what it is that you believe, and then write down WHY it is you believe that. 

Because then you might start to see that what you’re telling yourself to believe is actually imaginary and not true.

This is the work that I do with my clients. They bring me this long list of reasons why they think they’re not good enough, and I show them why it might not be true. I show all the reasons they are good enough to be a professor, why people do want to read their book, why they do deserve the grant, etc.

When someone comes along and gives you perspective on the reasons you are good enough, it changes your thinking. You think, well if this person believes this, then maybe I can believe it too. If they say I can handle this, maybe I can handle it. If they say I am doing great work, maybe I am and should be proud of what I am doing.

And you might not think that this actually is affecting you time-wise, but what happens when you believe these negative and false beliefs? When that judging voice pops up in your head saying you’re not good enough, or no one wants to read your work, or no one likes you? You probably get down on yourself and don’t do the work that you are setting out to do.

But when you recognize it and realize it is just not true, then you’re able to do the work you need to do. You can choose your thoughts differently around it and change the version of what you are telling yourself.

The next time you find yourself having these negative thoughts, take a moment and reassess what it is you are thinking and if it is true. You will find by reframing your thoughts you are able to have more confidence in your abilities while also saving time in the process.

Don’t Let Social Media Anxiety Hold You Back with Jennifer van Alstyne

Photo by Prateek Katyal on Unsplash

Are you a social media lurker? Most people on social media are lurkers, though it doesn’t always feel like that because the people we see in our home feeds aren’t. The people we see most often tend to be sharing not just once in a while, but often.

There are many reasons people, especially professors, stay more private on social media.

Here are some I’ve come across:

• I don’t think people care about what I have to say.

• What will my students think if they follow me?

• If I say the wrong thing, will I get reported?

• I just like to scroll, but I don’t really engage.

• I don’t know what to say.

• I’m nervous about my supervisor seeing what I post.

• Will my post go viral and get me in trouble?

• What if I don’t want to post about my work?

• I have a general anxiety/fear over social media.

Whether you’re a social media lurker or anxious about putting yourself out there, I hope my story helps you. I’m Jennifer van Alstyne, a communications strategist for academics, researchers, and organizations. I help people share their work in online spaces, like social media.

Fear kept me away from social media

While I’m active on social media now, it might surprise you to learn I was so scared of social media, I deleted all my accounts. When I returned, years later, I kept my accounts very private: just for family and personal friends.

There are a few ways people use to control their privacy

• Staying off social media altogether

• Keeping your accounts private

• Using an anonymous account

• Having a traditional account, but not posting yourself except for the occasional share/retweet

• Use customized Privacy Settings in each social media platform

I’ve used all of these at one point or another.

While I did have a fear of being judged on social media, and kind of general anxiety about friends who had huge followings and tons of likes, that isn’t why I left social media.

I deleted my social media accounts after leaving a physically abusive relationship when I was 18. The idea of being seen by the person I feared most felt paralyzing. At the time, I was scared to sleep. I jumped every time the phone rang. Eventually, I moved on campus where I felt safer.

As I began to heal, I started to recognize how small I’d let my world get. I missed the friendships and larger network I’d stopped communicating with. Staying off social media altogether was no longer right for me. So I started a new Facebook account and sent out friend requests one at a time. Baby steps.

I kept being surprised when people connected. I looked deeper into my past, reaching out to childhood friends. Having so many people connect in a short timeframe made me feel good about myself because they were real people I knew. I started connecting with my professors, visiting writers, or people I met at events. When I presented at my 1st conference in undergrad, I connected with my fellow panelists.

Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash

Social media networking

Later I would learn what that was called: I was networking on social media, one person at a time. Do you groan when you hear the word networking?

As Malisa Kurtz, PhD says on the Beyond the Professoriate blog, “I didn’t realize at the time that networking is just relationship-building—getting to know people I liked, following up with them, and also supporting them when I could.” Dr. Kurtz said networking is about

• Relationship-building

• Getting to know people

• Following-up with them

• Supporting them when possible

And while she wasn’t talking about using social media for networking specifically, these things are all possible there.

Social media is great for relationship-building because it allows you and another person to connect. You can get in touch with that person, and engage with what they share. It’s a great way to get to know them in a more passive way than sometimes ‘networking’ feels.

Following-up may look like a comment or reply. Maybe, it’s a direct message. Social media allows us to support people when it’s possible because we’re more likely to see when we can help. That might look like a Like, or “Congratulations!” It can also be

• Asking for advice

• Help to connect them with someone you know

• Sharing a resource

• Friendship

Networking on social media is really about finding an audience who cares. That’s why moving past your social media anxiety is so important.

Maybe your social media anxiety is more about work. Don’t let fear of your university or students hold you back from being present. Be aware of what you’re saying and that it can be shared. But don’t let that keep you from speaking at all.

I’ve come up with these tips to help you move forward.

• Think about how you spend your time on social media and why

• Take it one step at a time while checking your comfort level

• Join conversations

• Practice bragging the right way

1. Think about how you spend your time on social media and why

Why do you lurk on social media? Maybe it’s one of the reasons I listed at the top of this article. Maybe you have a story like mine, and there’s a specific reason you’ve wanted to stay private on social media.

Before you jump in, consider how and why you use social media the way you do now.

2. Take it one step at a time while checking your comfort level

Don’t try to do it all at once and become super active on social media right away. Take things one step at a time, and check-in with yourself to gauge your comfort level.

I went from being off social media to taking my current accounts out of Private mode. I posted some original content there (mostly personal photos or news). Then, I ventured out onto other social media platforms like Twitter. Now, I’m doing live video on YouTube, like my upcoming chat with Dr. Caitlin Faas about Social Media and Procrastination.

I’ve definitely broken out of my comfort zone on social media. It’s okay to try something new, even if you’re a bit uncertain.

3. Join conversations

The best way to start engaging on social media is to join conversations. It’s another effective way to stop scrolling on social media.

By replying to posts that you like or are interested in, you’re practicing meaningful engagement. Leave a comment on a post you like. It might spark a larger conversation. It’s up to you how much you want to engage, or not.

4. Practice bragging the right way

Practice writing a good news social media post, and sharing it with a personal audience like your family and friends. I know it seems easy, but imposter syndrome tends to strike academics hard when sharing good news no matter how accomplished you are.

When you brag, don’t apologize. And, be specific. Help people understand what your good news is, and why it’s important to you. While social comparison can leave us anxious about sharing good news, practicing it just once tends to make people feel good from the response.

Academic vs. Public Writing on Social Media

“I should be writing” is a common sentiment of academics on the #AcWri hashtag on Twitter. And that sentiment, the idea of academic vs. public writing, holds many professors back from social media. They’re not sure if it’s supposed to be academic or personal. How public does public writing have to be?

Social media is like having a microphone. You can turn it on when you want to reach people. You also have a lot of control over the settings. Some social media platforms help you reach a lot of people at once, like Twitter. Whereas others help you reach the people you’ve already connected with like Facebook and LinkedIn.

Being present on social media allows you to share your academic work and life when you want to. It allows you to connect with a larger audience to share your academic writing with all your audiences

• Academic

• Personal

• Public

Good luck on your social media journey, and remember it’s okay if things change over time.

To take the first steps to manage your online presence as an academic, join my free course The Internet for Academics.

Bio

Jennifer van Alstyne is a communications strategist for faculty and researchers. At The Academic Designer LLC, Jennifer helps people and organizations share their work with the world in online spaces. Her blog/podcast, The Social Academic shares advice articles and interviews twice a month. She is a Peruvian-American poet and independent scholar with a focus on representations of nature in poetry. Connect with Jennifer on Twitter @HigherEdPR.

How I Used Powerpoint to Squash My Fear of Public Speaking (and Tips to Help You Squash Your Fears, Too!)

Guest Post By Echo Rivera, PhD 

Echorivera.com / stellarslides.com / Twitter / YouTube / LinkedIn

I got no sleep the night before. I couldn’t eat breakfast. I had a lingering feeling of wanting to throw up. I was sweating. I was shaking. I hated everything and questioned whether a bachelor's degree was really worth all this trouble. 

No, this wasn’t me before taking a final. This was me before giving a 10 minute class presentation to 25 of my fellow undergrad students who weren’t even paying attention to me.

Can you relate? Do you have, or have you ever had, major anxiety over public speaking? 

We all have different paths that led us to this point. For some, this fear has always been there. For others, it’s because of a negative experience that we can’t quite seem to shake because we feel so much shame about it (hi, that’s me). Either way, once we end up with these overwhelming negative emotions about public speaking, it can sometimes feel like it’s impossible to overcome it. 

Now here’s the hard part: once you get to this point, if you don’t actively work on addressing those emotions, you will be stuck in a perpetual loop of anxiety and fear over public speaking. 

The biggest mistake you can make at this point is hoping that you’ll overcome your fears and anxieties over time. A lot of people believe they can overcome their fear or anxiety about public speaking simply by doing more presentations. This rarely works. More likely than not, procrastination anxiety will take over and create perpetual negative loops that will trap you in this mindset. 

Procrastination anxiety will make you procrastinate on your presentation (duh, I know). When you procrastinate on your presentation for too long (which many people who fear public speaking do), then you leave yourself with only enough time to create a #DeathByPowerpoint presentation. Because of that, while giving your presentation you’ll see an audience that is disengaged, confused, or not enjoying your talk. This will further validate your negative emotions about the entire experience, which will increase your procrastination anxiety for next time. If you also end up with negative feedback about your slides or public speaking skills, these emotions will be even further reinforced and even harder to break with each cycle you go through. 

So, without actively breaking the cycle of negative emotions I mentioned above, each presentation will only reinforce that loop. If you want to break it -- if you want to overcome your public speaking anxiety -- then you have to be proactive about it.

Here is how I recommend you begin working on this issue. It’s a combination of what I did that worked for me (and generally works for others), as well as new lessons I learned along the way. 

Warning -- these tips are things like “do a power pose” or “be yourself.” I drew a comic about the public speaking “tips” that I find bothersome, because they don’t address the root problems of this issue/

1. End your presentation procrastination (and address your procrastination anxiety)

The first bad habit to break is your procrastination and is a must. No one can create an amazing presentation from scratch in just a couple days, so you have to start here. This video about procrastination anxiety may be particularly helpful. You may also need to work through the shame you might be feeling as a result of previous negative experiences and recognize self-sabotaging thoughts you may be having. 

Once you start to deal with those emotions, it’s time to get serious about starting earlier and earlier when you have an upcoming presentation. I shocked many of my viewers by revealing my own workflow and timeline for working on presentations. But this workflow and timeline is a direct result of how I overcome my own fears of public speaking, and will be particularly helpful if you also have fears/anxieties about giving presentations. 

2. Create a script and practice it 

I also shocked a lot of academics by revealing that I recommend everyone creates a script for their presentations. Most people are convinced that the worst presenters--the ones who sound like robots--are those who use a script. Not true. A script is your most valuable resource for creating an effective and engaging presentation. 

Even people who love public speaking should create a script, because people who love public speaking often go on tangents or are disorganized (because they’re “winging it”), which often makes them hard to follow. 

But people who have public speaking anxieties? A script (and practicing it!) is the #1 most effective strategy that helped me overcome my negative emotions about speaking. I cannot emphasize this enough--if I didn’t get into the habit of scripting my talks, I don’t think I would have ever overcome my fears.

I was excessive about it at first. I literally memorized every single word (remember though: this was for short class presentations, not 60-min talks). I practiced it until I nailed my dramatic pauses, had varying intonations, and my hand gestures were on point. This took a ridiculous amount of time and was completely unsustainable. So by the time I went to grad school, I started tweaking this process and now have it finely tuned so it’s easy to fit into my schedule and is practical for 60 minute or longer presentations. 

3. Create Well-designed, Visually Engaging Slides

Okay, so you’ve started working on your presentation early and you have a great script. Now what? 

The surprising answer is that it’s time to pivot to your slide design skills. 

Beyond my excessive scripting and practicing habits, the other way I overcame my fear of public speaking is by creating engaging and memorable presentation slides. Although I recommend PowerPoint for slide presentations because it has so many great features, you can create slides with Keynote or Google Slides too. 

If you’re like most academics I’ve worked with, you’ve probably been trying to improve your slide design for a while, but it takes way too long or never seems to make the impact you want. That’s because there are tons of myths out there about what being an effective presenter even means and myths about how to design slides effective for an academic audience. Plus we all have picked up some bad presentation habits along the way. You’ll need to unlearn those myths and address those bad habits to design great slides, and I have a FREE online course about these myths and bad habits. It’s called #StellarSlidesin5 and you can start today by signing up here. 

It’s kind of funny how I figured this out. Part of the reason I was so terrified of public speaking was that the idea of people looking at me made me nervous. My solution was to create slides that were so fun, unique, and visual that no one would look at me--they would look at the slides instead. 

And, it mostly worked! Most people watched my slides instead of me. Success! Except...then something happened that I never saw coming. 

4. Remember that Change Doesn’t Happen in One Presentation; Allow Positive Feedback to Build Your Confidence Over Time! 

The combination of having a perfectly rehearsed script plus creative slides resulted in the final element that helped me fully overcome my fear: positive feedback. My fellow undergrads would come up to me and tell me things like, “WOW! You’re such a good presenter!” and “Your presentation was awesome!” 

At first, I was embarrassed because I was convinced they were messing with me. I thought I did so bad that they felt sorry for me and were just trying to make me feel better. I dismissed the high grades and positive comments from my professors as being something that “everyone probably got because it’s probably just an easy assignment anyway.” 

I went on like that--dismissing any/all positive feedback--until I made it into graduate school. That’s, like, 4 years of dismissing positive feedback. And even in grad school, I was weary of positive feedback, but started to become open to it. I didn’t fully acknowledge that I created effective and engaging presentations until after I earned my master’s degree. 

I’m sharing this for two reasons: 

1. It will take time for you to build your confidence in public speaking. If you don’t suddenly feel better about public speaking, don’t give up. Assume that you’re in it for the long haul and trust the process. 

2. Believe people when they tell you your presentation was great! Don’t be like me. Don’t dismiss it. 

After you’ve worked on #1-3 and you start getting positive feedback from your audience (because you WILL), then take it to heart. Let it feed into your confidence, but also remember that it may take some time for this to happen. Once you start getting positive feedback -- or even just notice a more engaged audience -- let it serve as a deterrent for all those negative emotions about public speaking that you’ve accumulated over the years. Let it help end your procrastination anxiety. 

And who knows: The (currently) unimaginable might happen: You may actually start to enjoy creating and delivering presentations. Yup. I know. It seems impossible, but several people who have taken my presentation design course have experienced this transformation! And I now do public speaking for a living! 

5. (BONUS) Learn improv skills 

When I mentioned my fear of public speaking to others the only recommendation they had was to sign up for Toastmasters. For me, that was literally the stuff of nightmares and I was not interested at all. I imagine that if I had followed that advice, my path towards overcoming my fear of public speaking would not have taken so long. So, although I can’t speak to a personal experience with improv skill development, I know it’s a valuable skill to have and it’s worked for others. If it doesn’t terrify you like it did me (or your braver than I am), then I highly recommend you try it!

You Can Do This! 

Hopefully this post was helpful and provided some new ideas for overcoming your fear of public speaking. For what it’s worth, you definitely aren’t alone in having these fears and I know that you can overcome it! 

With joy,Echo

P.s. If you’d like to create better presentations, get started with my free course #StellarSlidesin5. 

Bio: Dr. Echo Rivera helps academics, researchers, consultants and evaluators communicate more effectively and creatively. She has a PhD in Community Psychology, and after about 14 years of working in the social science research and program evaluation fields, Echo became a freelance communications consultant. She is on a mission to end #DeathByPowerpoint in our course lectures, conference presentations, and other educational settings. What she does goes beyond just graphic design. She works specifically with people who want to present their data in ways that increase the likelihood the audience will pay attention to, understand, remember, and use the information.