Where to start when getting unstuck

When you are trying to get yourself unstuck, it can be hard to know where to start. Feeling stuck can be very overwhelming, but a great place to start is examining what you absorbed growing up. Then you can start to make changes moving forward. 

In your journey you can sit down and assess several things:

• What generation were you born into?

• What ‘should haves’ have you adopted over the years?

• Where are you developmentally in life?

• What is different in your life now than previously?

Recognizing where you are compared to where you were is a big step in the right direction.

Many high-achievers remember having very clear expectations of what they were going to do with their lives. But, once they meet those goals, they often find themselves unhappy. This is a sign that it’s time for them to hop off the hamster wheel and take back control! Sound familiar? Let’s talk about what’s next.

Once you have gotten a sense of what expectations you have adopted for yourself you can start to piece together the identities you have taken on throughout your professional career as well. Many of the ideals that you adopted as your ‘should haves’ got you where you are today, so how do you separate those from who you are today, and where you want to go?

You can start by creating a timeline of your development.

I walk you through these steps in my book. You’ll move through different stages of adulthood that you have experienced and reflect on your milestones such as going to college, how many times you’ve moved, and any significant events.

Once you have your history mapped out, you’ll move on to reflecting. Think about your future self reflecting on this timeline, what would you like to have done differently? What would your future self tell you to stop doing or change? Reflect without judgment and be compassionate. 

Now that you know your history and your identity foundation, you can start to create clear goals for yourself and begin thinking about yourself outside of the ‘should haves’ that you have taken on over the years!