Why You Need to Stop Trying to Lose Weight

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Many of my clients tell me they want to lose weight. In fact, it’s fairly common language today to say that your goal is to “lose weight”. 

We’re even told by doctors we should lose weight! But most of the time it doesn’t even work. 

Why?

Today I want to talk to you about some of the problems associated with the way we think about weight. Specifically, we’ll look at the research behind Weight-Inclusive vs. Weight-Normative approaches to health.

Admittedly, I’m not a medical doctor, psychologist or nutritionist. I am a certified life coach and weight coach through The Life Coach School and I earned my Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Studies. I understand the research, have seen it applied with my clients, and I want to share it with you in an accessible way.

As the conversation about health changes, health care professionals are trying to focus more on what works--and we know that simply shedding pounds isn’t enough. Things are shifting away from “weight-loss” and moving more toward “weight-inclusivity”. Toward what is important for health and well-being.

Makes sense, right? 

Let’s go over the weight-normative approach that society has been touting for far too long. I’m summarizing the research articles (see the below for references) to give you an overview: 

1. Our body mass index (BMI) is an outdated tool. A high BMI doesn’t mean we will develop diseases or poor health. Unlike smoking, which we know causes lung cancer because it is backed by empirical research, BMI and poor health have no established causality.

2. Body weight isn’t voluntary. Many factors are at play: genetics, access to healthy food, physical activity and other resources.

3. When people try to lose weight and can’t, learned helplessness can develop. Because they don’t lose weight on the first try, they may give up completely on their health.

4. No weight-loss intervention has worked long-term for the majority of participants. People who have maintained weight loss are the exception, not the rule. I’m an outlier myself as I’ve maintained my weight loss of 20-28 lbs for over a decade. But that’s unusual and most people gain back the weight they lose (sometimes more).

5. Weight cycling is when the weight goes up and down the scale. Weight cycling IS connected to poor health. This yo-yoing is connected to inflammation, cancer, and possibly even premature death. It also negatively influences psychological well-being because we simply don’t feel good about ourselves when we weight cycle.

6. Trying to maintain weight loss puts people at risk for eating disorders. All kinds of unhealthy behaviors can emerge from rigid dieting.

7. The weight-normative approach encourages us all to be thin and constantly striving for that. It encourages stigma against people of different sizes. These stigmas tend to show up across various settings in our lives, including health care professionals. Overweight people are viewed as lazy while thinner people are judged for being able to eat what they want. It’s a vicious cycle with a massive amount of bias. In fact, it is actually this weight stigma that is connected to poor health - not the pounds themselves. 

Wow, so did you know all of that? 

I certainly didn’t realize that this is where the research had taken us in 2020. It’s so easy to fall into the pattern of counting calories and thinking that the way we grew up was correct. We’ve learned a lot, however, and it’s time to re-train our brains. 

Regularly, I see how the weight-normative approach affects my coaching clients on a daily basis. Many of them are consumed with thoughts about tracking food as they think obsessively about losing weight. 

If only this mental energy could be freed up so they would have the time and space to think about other, more important things! To create the work they want to share with the world. Instead, they are focused on the guilt they feel from last night’s dessert. And it’s heart-breaking. 

In the weight-normative approach, my clients beat themselves up for not reaching their goals. They constantly feel shame for not doing the work they “should be doing.” And they over-complicate their lives, thinking there’s one magical answer out there.

All in all, the weight-normative approach that many of us have become accustomed to is a hazardous burden that is harmful to us in the long run. 

Photo by AllGo - An App For Plus Size People on Unsplash

Now, let me introduce you to the weight-inclusive approach.

Are you ready for some good news?

This approach focuses on health--on the positive instead of the negative. Health has many components and can be measured in a variety of ways. Attention is placed on daily actions rather than a targeted end-goal. The vision is for long-term change. 

These clinically significant improvements are associated with weight-inclusive approaches:

• Lower blood pressure

• Increased physical activity

• Decreased binge eating

• Increased self-esteem

• Decreased depression

• No adverse outcomes to this approach (unlike the weight normative approach)

• Higher body appreciation

• Lower habitual appearance monitoring

The weight-inclusive approach also calls for more empirical research about what works and what doesn’t. This approach recognizes it is important to increase access to healthy options.

Models for the Weight-Inclusive Approach:

• Health at Every Size

• Physical Activity at Every Size

• The Body Project

Rather than focusing on the negative, weight-inclusive language uses positive vocabulary, such as “body awareness”, “intuitive eating”, and “health”. 

One of my coaching clients is focused on her health--and that’s the language we use. Not “losing weight”. She recognized the need to drop the “shoulds” around losing weight and to start defining health for herself. Right now, that includes sleep and taking vitamins--not tracking her food or reading more books about weight loss.

Now that you understand a bit more, focusing on the weight inclusive approach is accessible for you. Check out my free training on how to stop overeating today.

References Used to Write this Post:

Thanks to Paula Brochu for directing me to these published articles.

Bacon & Aphramor, 2011 - https://nutritionj.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1475-2891-10-9

Logel, Stinson, & Brochu, 2015 - https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/spc3.12223

Tylka et al., 2014 - https://www.hindawi.com/journals/jobe/2014/983495/

Hunger, Smith, & Tomiyama, 2020 - https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/sipr.12062

Reasons to Follow Your Meal Plan During The Day [How To Avoid Cheat Meals At Night]

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

You can make your life easier by planning what you're eating ahead of time.

While meal planning can be considered another thing to add to your long “to-do list,” this is one task that should be a priority. 

Don’t be scared to plan meals for an entire week. 

Make your protocol, or meal plan, as flexible as you want because it’s for you. Take the negativity towards meal plans and turn it into adaptability. A meal plan doesn’t mean only eating salads for lunch every day. Meet yourself where you are in your eating.

Few people like eating the same thing every single day, therefore planning is important in order to help you save time, money, and make healthy choices. 

Don’t give up just because you’re out of ideas. Decide you can figure this out.

Here are 10 reasons why you should begin planning your meals a week in advance:

1. It will improve your nutrition

By planning ahead, your goal is to have nutritionally balanced meals during the week. In the process of planning it's important to make sure that each of your office lunches has a balance.

Also, by planning your daily meals, you'll be able to control your personal nutrition needs. So for instance, if you want to go for a lower sodium diet or to try to eat whole grains and veggies, you can plan ahead, too. 

2. It will help you make healthier choices

Each time you have to come up with something to eat last minute, you'll end up going to the cafeteria. That makes it easier to exceed your daily intake. Also, keep in mind that shopping when hungry will only make you end up with  junk food into your cart. 

3. It will encourage you to choose high-quality foods

Homemade lunches are almost always rich in nutrients and filled with fewer calories, salt, and fat than usual takeout or semi-prep options at your grocery store. Opting to cook your own recipes and use healthier ingredients for a whole week will allow you to make better food choices, such as opting for local meats and organic produce. 

4. You’ll save money in the long-run

Deciding upon a meal plan keeps your forgotten ingredients in the fridge from going bad. You can create your plans using whatever you have in your cupboards or in the freezer.

You can also begin by writing your grocery lists based on your meal plans. Thus, you’ll go to the grocery store with a set goal rather than on a whim. This habit will help you avoid coming out of the store with a bunch of various unhealthy food items, most of which you might not even eat. 

Additionally, a well-organized meal plan will save you money by keeping you from ordering pricey last-minute or cheap low-quality take out food.

5. It will save you valuable time

Set from the start, grocery lists will help you not to wander around the grocery store aimlessly, and weekly meal plans will save you from thinking about what to eat every day.

Being an academic keeps you quite busy during the workweek, so make sure you allocate some time during the weekend to prepare most of your meals. Consider oats and frozen berries with greek yogurt in mason jars as breakfasts for on-the-go. And, already prepared quinoa or pasta salads with green veggies and beans can become an office lunch for multiple days. 

Also, consider cooking one or two larger dinners during the weekend in order for you to have something homecooked for when you arrive home tired and don’t have the energy to cook. Portion and split proper servings for you or your family for quick dinners. Soups, chili, meatballs or marinated chicken breasts are great choices for freezing. You can simply defrost and reheat while you add a quick salad or veggie slices - and you’ll end up having a delicious homemade meal almost instantly. 

6. It will decrease daily stress

The daily “what will I eat for lunch or make for dinner” thought that occupies our minds adds to our stress but can be easily prevented by simply creating a clear meal plan. When in doubt, reuse old meal plans and grocery lists to help you organize things faster and reduce prep time. Within a two-week seasonal meal plan, there will surely be enough variety for your family.

7. Deciding upon menu planning helps you avoid unnecessary waste

When you’ve set your meal plan for dinner, any leftover food can be eaten the next day at work for lunch. It’s a pity to get something from the grocery store on impulse and have to throw it out just days later. Planning ahead is the secret to buying and preparing only what you can eat.

8. Menu planning helps you prepare better meals

When you gather dinner ideas at the beginning of the week or on the weekends, you have plenty of time to be creative and come up with delicious foods. Also, you have enough time to organize a complete menu that includes side dishes, salads, and desserts. Your precise menu plan will help you concentrate on improving cooking skills.

9. Meal planning encourages variety

Menu planning prevents you from serving the same meals again and again. You can research for meal ideas online, turn to your loved ones for family recipes, or try to diversify one of your favorite dishes with new ingredients.

10. A meal plan helps you to think in advance 

When you sit down and really think about the week’s meals, you can organize your time and household in advance and remember your favorite foods as well as the things you don’t like.

Planning ahead can turn your kitchen in a more organized place, and your healthy, home-cooked food will be available both at work and at home.

Photo by Freshh Connection on Unsplash

Conclusion

Try to plan in advance, to organize your meals for several days at a time, including side dishes. Make research part of your meal planning as it will help you come up with new ideas. Also, try to always stick to your list when you go shopping at the grocery store. 

The whole point of this is to not start from zero every day and that's where my guidance comes in handy - I want to help you to follow your protocol. You deserve to overcome your self-sabotages so you can get back to your meaningful work.

How to find the right food tracking method for your life

We all know there are many ways to track your food.

It can feel overwhelming though because of our thoughts about it:

• There are too many options to choose from.

• I don't know where to start.

• I tried tracking once and it was too much.

• I'm not sure tracking my food intake actually helps me.

• I don't know why I should bother tracking my food.

• I should find the best way to track how much I eat somehow.

Those thoughts don't lead to productive action.

They leave us feeling stuck and without the result we want.

If our desired result is to lose 50 pounds and eat health foods, what actions do we need to take to get there?

One of the first actions is to track our food.

We need to feel inspired and motivated to make that actually happen.

That means we need to think helpful thoughts like:

• This post can help guide me in the right direction.

• I want to lose 10 pounds and eat healthier.

• I can take steps to lose weight and eat healthier.

• I know this isn't complicated.

• I want to do the work.

• I'm going to find the right food tracking method for me.

See how those thoughts lead to a positive feeling with true action?

The best news is that you get to choose your thoughts.

You have to find thoughts that motivate and inspire you.

Take a second to write down the thoughts that guided you to open this post. What comes up for you?

The secret to tracking your food isn't in the method itself.

It's actually doing the work of tracking.

You can track your food on paper if it works for you.

You can track your food on your phone if it works for you.

Looking for some helpful top food tracking apps to keep track of the food you eat?

• Lifesum

• Lark

• My Fitness Pal

Let’s be clear - an app or a piece of paper won't actually do the work for you.

You have to do the work and want to do that work.

Once you have a positive cycle of thoughts leading to results, you'll gain momentum.

Here's an intentional example -

Circumstance - Downloaded My Fitness Pal on phone.

Thought - This app is going to be really helpful for tracking my food and activity.

Feeling - Motivated

Actions - Tracking the food, getting mini rewards with the app

Results - The app is really helpful for tracking.

It's easy to have an unintentional model too -

Circumstance - Downloaded My Fitness Pal on phone.

Thought - I don't know how to use this app.

Feeling - Frustrated

Actions - Not tracking food, ignoring the app

Results - Not using the app to work towards ultimate goal of losing weight and eating healthy foods.

See how two people could both download the app, but get completely different results?

It's all in their thoughts. Not the tracking method itself.

Thinking thoughts that food tracking can be helpful is crucial.

I love this article about the 7 biggest benefits of a food diary by Runtastic. Those are the kinds of reasons that lead me to think, "Yeah! I want to track my food! I can do this!"

Don't view tracking your food as something you have to do the rest of your life.

You can commit to a week of tracking at first. See what you learn. See if you have any "aha" moments.

Talk about your food diary with a life coach. See what insights you uncover.

Check in with your reasons for losing weight and how to commit to losing that weight.

How to commit yourself to your weight loss goals

Photo courtesy of Gesina Kunkel https://happyveganfit.de/

You know you want to lose weight and you have your list of "real" reasons that resonate with you. Now it's time to commit. But that feels scary. How do you actually stick to these reasons?

Commitment to losing weight takes planning and using the prefrontal cortex in our brain.

Our prefrontal cortex is the part of our brain in charge of decision making. It's the most advanced part of our brain and the part that takes the most time to develop. Researchers think full development of this part takes until we're about 25 years old.

Remember all those great decisions you made when you were fifteen?

Yeah, me too.

When I was 15 years old, I thought eating a sleeve of Ritz crackers everyday for lunch was a great idea. It saved my lunch money for better purchases - like Diet Coke and cookies. Not a healthy choice, looking back. But at least now I know my prefrontal cortex was still growing.

As adults, we can harness the power of our prefrontal cortex.

We can plan and make decisions in advance. We can say, "Tomorrow, this is what I will eat."

That's what commitment is all about. Making a protocol at least 24 hours in advance and sticking with it.

You know you're using your prefrontal cortex when you make a plan 24 hours in advance. You know you're using the more primitive parts of your brain when you're making a plan 5 minutes in advance. That's not a plan, that's responding to an urge.

How can you tell the difference between your prefrontal cortex and primitive brain?

The primitive brain yells a lot. It's like a toddler, trying to be in charge of all your decisions. It tries to override your prefrontal cortex most of the time.

It says things like, "Hey, let's eat this cookie in a few minutes. It's a great idea."

But what do we do with toddlers? We tell them no.

We have to tell our primitive brains the same thing when it wants that cookie. We have to say, "I hear you. I know you want a cookie. But it's not part of our protocol. It's not on the plan for eating today."

It can become harder as the day goes on not to give into the primitive brain. It tries to wear us down and we get ego depleted. We've all been there. We say, "FINE! I'm tired! Let's eat the cookie!"

And the primitive brain rejoices. It say, "Great, I know exactly what to do next time to get what I want. I'll throw a fit and then I'll get what I want."

Just like a toddler, remember?

The goal in sticking with our commitments isn't to "shut the primitive brain up" or ignore it.

We speak calmly and quietly to it. We say, "It's not in the plan. Not today."

We allow our urges to exist, we allow the voice to scream.

But we don't give in. We let our prefrontal cortex stay in charge, the adult in the room.

We stick to our protocol that we created. We remind ourselves of our bigger commitment and reasons why.

And when we're ready, we take notes and watch the primitive brain talking. We notice when it wants to talk the most. We stay curious about that voice and when it gets upset.

We remove temptations and help it stay calm and collected.

Just like a toddler. We give it rest and restoration time.

We don't try to manipulate it by screaming or crying back. We allow it to be. We recognize it. And then we move on.

Your commitment to losing weight is about managing your thoughts and allowing urges. It isn't about a new fangled technology or special workout clothes. It's about sticking to what you said you were going to do. Following through. And getting in the pattern.

If you're doubting this process, there are thoughts to manage!

You are amazing and you can do this.

Let's talk about it! In the meantime, use the form below to get access to my tips for reclaiming your time!

What are your reasons for losing weight?

Losing weight is the most common New Year's Resolution in the United States. We know we have an obesity epidemic in our country. Many of us have an overabundance of food, especially delicious desserts. And to top it off, we're coming off the holiday season. We couldn't turn around the last few weeks without someone offering us a cookie.

With the new year, many of us set goals to lose weight or to try a new diet.

Year after year, we set the same goal. And many of us abandon these goals by the time February rolls around. It's cold and dark for many of us in these months. All the inspiration seems to have evaporated. Part of why that happens is our thought process behind losing weight.

We think we should lose weight for the following reasons:

• Our doctor told us to lose weight

• All those fitspo women on Instagram are thin

• Our mom told us we're looking heavy

• We think we'll be happier when we're thinner

• We used to weigh that much in our twenties

The list goes on. Shoulds are everywhere. But shoulds are rarely motivation to actually do the work and lose the weight. They just hang around, making us feel guilty and down on ourselves.

What if this year, you wanted to lose weight for the right reasons?

What if you kept those reasons in the forefront, instead of all the "should" reasons?

Defining a "right reason" is an individual process. Inside, you know what works best for you. It's really easy to listen to all of the outside noise instead of your inner voice.

The good news is that inner voices have a lot in common. They speak a common truth for all of us. That's how we end up with common "right" reasons to accomplish our goals, like losing weight.

So ask yourself and spend some time journaling or talking it through with a life coach.

Why do you want to lose weight?

1. Make an unfiltered list. Get it all down.

2. When you think you're out of reasons, write five more.

3. Separate out the reasons into shoulds and reasons that feel like truth.

How do you tell the difference between shoulds and true reasons?

Should reasons feel heavy and down.

Example of a "should" reason to lose weight:

Circumstance - Goal to lose 20 pounds.

Thought - My doctor said I should do this, but I don't know if I can.

Feeling - Anxious

Action - Reading all of the weight loss plan books, but not really doing anything about it. Not really taking action, just worrying.

Result - Not losing any weight

See how that unintentional model holds us back from our goals? It started with a "should" reason rather than a real reason.

Reasons that feel like truth inspire and motivate you.

You feel connected and excited about the right reasons. Maybe you're smiling when you think about the right reasons.

Your right reasons will connect you to your end goal. You'll have thoughts that work in your favor. Those thoughts will generate positive feelings. Positive feelings generate forward moving action, which then lead to results.

For example, here’s an intentional model with a "right" reason thought:

Circumstance - Goal to lose weight.

Thought - I want to do this for my future health.

Feeling - Motivated

Action - Sticking to a protocol

Result - Losing weight, helping future health.

Other examples of positive thoughts to lose weight (if they resonate with you):

• I am becoming a better version of myself everyday.

• I want to be a role model for my children.

• I am enjoying the journey of weight loss.

• I like treating my body with respect.

• I know I like eating healthy food in the long-term.

Take your reasons and put them somewhere you can see them every single day.

Maybe that's on your phone as a reminder. Or a piece of paper near your bed. A note on your bathroom mirror. A list in your car. Wherever you spend time every day.

These are the reasons that will keep you going. Not because I said so. Not because Jillian Michaels or your favorite fitspo person on Instagram said so. Because you said so. Because these reasons are your truth.

Need extra help generating your reasons for losing weight? Let’s talk.