Why You Need to Stop Trying to Lose Weight

Photo by Siora Photography on Unsplash

Many of my clients tell me they want to lose weight. In fact, it’s fairly common language today to say that your goal is to “lose weight”. 

We’re even told by doctors we should lose weight! But most of the time it doesn’t even work. 

Why?

Today I want to talk to you about some of the problems associated with the way we think about weight. Specifically, we’ll look at the research behind Weight-Inclusive vs. Weight-Normative approaches to health.

Admittedly, I’m not a medical doctor, psychologist or nutritionist. I am a certified life coach and weight coach through The Life Coach School and I earned my Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Studies. I understand the research, have seen it applied with my clients, and I want to share it with you in an accessible way.

As the conversation about health changes, health care professionals are trying to focus more on what works--and we know that simply shedding pounds isn’t enough. Things are shifting away from “weight-loss” and moving more toward “weight-inclusivity”. Toward what is important for health and well-being.

Makes sense, right? 

Let’s go over the weight-normative approach that society has been touting for far too long. I’m summarizing the research articles (see the below for references) to give you an overview: 

1. Our body mass index (BMI) is an outdated tool. A high BMI doesn’t mean we will develop diseases or poor health. Unlike smoking, which we know causes lung cancer because it is backed by empirical research, BMI and poor health have no established causality.

2. Body weight isn’t voluntary. Many factors are at play: genetics, access to healthy food, physical activity and other resources.

3. When people try to lose weight and can’t, learned helplessness can develop. Because they don’t lose weight on the first try, they may give up completely on their health.

4. No weight-loss intervention has worked long-term for the majority of participants. People who have maintained weight loss are the exception, not the rule. I’m an outlier myself as I’ve maintained my weight loss of 20-28 lbs for over a decade. But that’s unusual and most people gain back the weight they lose (sometimes more).

5. Weight cycling is when the weight goes up and down the scale. Weight cycling IS connected to poor health. This yo-yoing is connected to inflammation, cancer, and possibly even premature death. It also negatively influences psychological well-being because we simply don’t feel good about ourselves when we weight cycle.

6. Trying to maintain weight loss puts people at risk for eating disorders. All kinds of unhealthy behaviors can emerge from rigid dieting.

7. The weight-normative approach encourages us all to be thin and constantly striving for that. It encourages stigma against people of different sizes. These stigmas tend to show up across various settings in our lives, including health care professionals. Overweight people are viewed as lazy while thinner people are judged for being able to eat what they want. It’s a vicious cycle with a massive amount of bias. In fact, it is actually this weight stigma that is connected to poor health - not the pounds themselves. 

Wow, so did you know all of that? 

I certainly didn’t realize that this is where the research had taken us in 2020. It’s so easy to fall into the pattern of counting calories and thinking that the way we grew up was correct. We’ve learned a lot, however, and it’s time to re-train our brains. 

Regularly, I see how the weight-normative approach affects my coaching clients on a daily basis. Many of them are consumed with thoughts about tracking food as they think obsessively about losing weight. 

If only this mental energy could be freed up so they would have the time and space to think about other, more important things! To create the work they want to share with the world. Instead, they are focused on the guilt they feel from last night’s dessert. And it’s heart-breaking. 

In the weight-normative approach, my clients beat themselves up for not reaching their goals. They constantly feel shame for not doing the work they “should be doing.” And they over-complicate their lives, thinking there’s one magical answer out there.

All in all, the weight-normative approach that many of us have become accustomed to is a hazardous burden that is harmful to us in the long run. 

Photo by AllGo - An App For Plus Size People on Unsplash

Now, let me introduce you to the weight-inclusive approach.

Are you ready for some good news?

This approach focuses on health--on the positive instead of the negative. Health has many components and can be measured in a variety of ways. Attention is placed on daily actions rather than a targeted end-goal. The vision is for long-term change. 

These clinically significant improvements are associated with weight-inclusive approaches:

• Lower blood pressure

• Increased physical activity

• Decreased binge eating

• Increased self-esteem

• Decreased depression

• No adverse outcomes to this approach (unlike the weight normative approach)

• Higher body appreciation

• Lower habitual appearance monitoring

The weight-inclusive approach also calls for more empirical research about what works and what doesn’t. This approach recognizes it is important to increase access to healthy options.

Models for the Weight-Inclusive Approach:

• Health at Every Size

• Physical Activity at Every Size

• The Body Project

Rather than focusing on the negative, weight-inclusive language uses positive vocabulary, such as “body awareness”, “intuitive eating”, and “health”. 

One of my coaching clients is focused on her health--and that’s the language we use. Not “losing weight”. She recognized the need to drop the “shoulds” around losing weight and to start defining health for herself. Right now, that includes sleep and taking vitamins--not tracking her food or reading more books about weight loss.

Now that you understand a bit more, focusing on the weight inclusive approach is accessible for you. Check out my free training on how to stop overeating today.

References Used to Write this Post:

Thanks to Paula Brochu for directing me to these published articles.

Bacon & Aphramor, 2011 - https://nutritionj.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1475-2891-10-9

Logel, Stinson, & Brochu, 2015 - https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/spc3.12223

Tylka et al., 2014 - https://www.hindawi.com/journals/jobe/2014/983495/

Hunger, Smith, & Tomiyama, 2020 - https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/sipr.12062

How To Stop The Urge To Eat Junk Food [6 Steps To Listen To Your Body]

Everyone has days when they feel off or way too busy, and the last thing on their minds is a healthy meal plan - especially around the holidays.  Not to mention the parties and social gatherings you need to attend that obviously include a buffet of delicious foods for you to indulge in.

So it's understandable that in certain situations it can become difficult not to overeat. You enjoy a healthy meal at home, thinking you’re doing great, and then you go out and are surrounded by junk food. Soon, you get hungry, and almost unconsciously you’re picking up dessert off the platter, and healthy food is forgotten.

Or maybe you really choose the “right” foods, but they’re just so delicious that you can’t have just one portion. We’ve all been there.

Have a look at six strategies that have changed the lives of many, helping them to live a healthy life, enjoy their meals more, and lower their appetite.

1. CONTROL YOUR BLOOD SUGAR LEVELS BY ADDING VINEGAR AND CINNAMON TO YOUR MEALS

Thinking to add some new flavors to your food and non-caloric drinks? Well, the good news is that there are many spices and flavors that can turn your food into both tastier and healthier. 

For instance, vinegar has recently been shown to lower your glycemic index, which means that you'll be able to metabolize the food more slowly. So, try and add acidic flavor to salad dressings, sauces, and roasted veggies.

For sweet-smelling and enjoyable warmth, add a pinch of cinnamon to everything from your daily coffee and morning smoothies to hearty chili. Just like vinegar, cinnamon slows the rate of your food transit from your stomach to your intestine so this will keep you full longer, and helps you prevent that post-meal crash.

2. LEARN THE ART OF EATING WHEN YOU’RE NOT HUNGRY

Often, when you get really hungry, you are inclined to overeat. In every episode of overeating, you will feel full, but then your insulin level spikes, making you feel tired, then really hungry again so you end up overeating again.

Trying to resist hunger is not a great idea, instead, try to nip it in the bud. Consider eating when you’re either not hungry or only slightly hungry, in order to eat less and allowing more time for your meals. When you are eating less during the day, you’ll have more energy which is certainly a nice bonus.

3. CHOOSE TO DRINK WATER, NOT LIQUIFIED CALORIES

In addition to feeling constantly tired and having your brain in a fog, mild dehydration can cause the sensation that’s usually mistaken for hunger. On the other hand, liquid calories like juices and sodas don’t feed your hunger, and their fast digestion causes insulin spikes. So try and give up the sweetened drinks and go for sparkling or still water.  To add some taste, you can also flavor it with lemon slices, strawberries or cucumber slices if you want, but don’t pack your drinks with calories.

Set a daily goal and aim to drink at least three-quarters of a gallon of water a day, using a reusable bottle. Also, make sure to drink a glass of water for about 20 minutes before every meal to reduce your appetite.

4. ENJOY EACH MEAL EATING SLOWLY

In the process of eating each meal, there’s a noticeable delay before you feel that you are full. This delay usually takes between 10–30 minutes. Due to this delay, we are inclined to ingest more food than we really need. And the faster we eat, the more food we are likely to consume at one sitting.

The solution? Try chewing each bite at least 10 times before swallowing. By following this simple rule you will end up adopting slow eating, thus allowing your brain to catch up with your stomach. On the plus side, you’ll also enjoy each meal more when you take your time to savor it.

5. LEARN THE HABIT OF HAVING A SMALL, FLAVORLESS SNACK BETWEEN MEALS

This secret was discovered by the late Seth Roberts. He used to consume a shot of olive oil or a glass of water with a tiny bit of sugar, this being an exception to the general rule on sweetened beverages between meals. Others may prefer a handful of unsalted almonds. Whatever your choice, try doing this once a day and you may see your appetite dramatically reduced. And this approach is especially important if your goal is weight loss.

While this may be one of the weirdest things you would ever try, it can also do wonders for you. The reason why this approach works is that it apparently adjusts the levels of ghrelin, the hunger hormone, by weakening flavor-calorie links. But in order for this to truly work, the snack must be really bland, and you must consume nothing else but water for at least an hour before and after the snack.

6. TRY THE “FRONT DOOR SNACK” METHOD

This will become one of your favorite hacks. Knowing upfront that your willpower is weakened when you’re hungry, and you can find more tempting junk food outside your home, you could choose to simply enjoy a snack of healthy food right before leaving home so you would feel less tempted out there. 

Make a habit of keeping a healthy snack (jerky, almonds, or vegetable chips) stored up at home and simply take a handful before you leave home. This will help you to “force out” the unhealthy food in your diet, and make it much easier for you to give up the unhealthy food.

WORST SCENARIO, BEST OUTCOME

What do you do after you’ve realized that you've indulged in just a little more than you would have expected? What is there to do or avoid doing right after overeating?

Far too many people fall into the same vicious cycle of overeating, restricting their diet, and punishing themselves after such an episode. Some of the worst things you can do after something like a weekend of overindulging is to blame yourself. 

And definitely don't fall into the trap of trying to compensate by skipping your next meals. Another thing you want to avoid is to force yourself to do tons of cardio as a way to 'balance' your episode of overeating.⠀

The best thing you could do is pay attention to your mind and the stories it is telling you. Become the watcher of your thoughts. The thoughts that tell you that “you’re not good enough, you’ll never accomplish this, and you’re a failure.” When you become the watcher of those thoughts, you get distance. You see that you don’t have to believe that voice in your head. Talking back to the voice and comforting it is the real battle.

I help my clients change their thoughts around eating. I go over the basics in my free stop overeating training (you can sign up with the form below). Check it out and see if you can start managing your urges to eat unhealthy food. I’ve done the work myself, so I understand.

Don't allow for one episode of overeating to hijack your meal plan and turn it into a whole week of overeating. You’ve got this!

How to Stay Healthy with the Holidays Quickly Approaching

It's easy to give up on the rest of the year right now. The semester is busy, final projects are due, and everyone seems to be exhausted.

• "Oh we only have a few months to go, might as well give in."

• "The holidays will be here before we know it."

• "It's gotten cold and all I want to do is hibernate."

• "I'll start a new diet in the new year."

Are you saying any of those thoughts to yourself right now?

You're not alone. It's common to do. But those thoughts can change.

Unintentional Model

Circumstance - The holiday season is approaching on the calendar.

Thought - Time is slipping away and I might as well give in.

Feeling - Dissatisfied

Actions - Eating extra cookies, avoiding getting on the scale, avoiding exercise, overdrinking

Result - Overindulging and giving in

The result of overindulging feeds right back into the thought of "Time is slipping away and I might as well continue to give in." It continues on until it's the new year and you're still feeling dissatisfied.

I used to be in this unintentional model too, especially with the stress of the academic semester. I thought I couldn't help it. I was giving in with everyone else. I could just keep repeating the same cycle.

But nine years ago, around this time, I reached Lifetime Status in Weight Watchers (WW). That means I was starting the journey of maintaining my weight (within 4 lbs of my obtained goal). It would have been easy to eat the holiday cookies and zone out. I could have patted myself on the back and said I'd get back to work in the new year. But I was on a mission to maintain my weight.

So I worked on my thoughts and created a different model.

Intentional Model

Circumstance - The holiday season is approaching on the calendar.

Thought - I am still going to maintain my weight and stick with my plan.

Feeling - Motivated

Actions - Looking up ways to eat healthy at parties, sticking to just one cookie, staying active in my workout plan.

Results - Maintaining my weight and sticking with my plan.

See how the very same circumstances existed in both models?

It was the thoughts that changed. Changing the thoughts then led to different feelings, different actions, and results that fed back into the thoughts. If you’re new to models, they were created by Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School.

The hard part about the end of the school year isn't that it simply exists.

We've told ourselves a story that it must be difficult and overwhelming. We encourage each other with this negative story. But it's just a story. We don't have to believe it.

You must know that's true because you're reading this post.

You're looking for ways to stay healthy this holiday season. Remember, it isn't just the action that leads to staying healthy. It's the thoughts you get to choose, that lead to feelings, and then the actions. If you don't believe something will work for you, you probably won't do it.

Positive Affirmations for this Holiday Season:

- I am a healthy person.

- I make healthy decisions.

- I feel clean and light when I stick to my plan.

- I enjoy finding healthy alternatives at holiday parties.

- I am choosing great options for myself.

- I want to feel good in both December and January.

- I can enjoy myself without eating everything at the party.

- I am enjoying the process of staying healthy.

- I enjoy taking care of my body.

- Every month out of the year counts, including the holidays.

Other Ways You Can Stay Healthy this Holiday Season:

• Spend time around other people who are choosing positive thoughts about the holiday season.

• Ask for others to join you in making healthy decisions.

• Remind yourself of the bigger picture. Why do you want to stay healthy in general?

Resources for Healthy Eating:

• Dr. Katrina Ubell's Free Resources

• CDC's 5 Healthy Eating Tips for the Holidays

• Real Simple's 9 Healthy Holiday-Eating Strategies