Why You Need to Stop Trying to Lose Weight

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Many of my clients tell me they want to lose weight. In fact, it’s fairly common language today to say that your goal is to “lose weight”. 

We’re even told by doctors we should lose weight! But most of the time it doesn’t even work. 

Why?

Today I want to talk to you about some of the problems associated with the way we think about weight. Specifically, we’ll look at the research behind Weight-Inclusive vs. Weight-Normative approaches to health.

Admittedly, I’m not a medical doctor, psychologist or nutritionist. I am a certified life coach and weight coach through The Life Coach School and I earned my Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Studies. I understand the research, have seen it applied with my clients, and I want to share it with you in an accessible way.

As the conversation about health changes, health care professionals are trying to focus more on what works--and we know that simply shedding pounds isn’t enough. Things are shifting away from “weight-loss” and moving more toward “weight-inclusivity”. Toward what is important for health and well-being.

Makes sense, right? 

Let’s go over the weight-normative approach that society has been touting for far too long. I’m summarizing the research articles (see the below for references) to give you an overview: 

1. Our body mass index (BMI) is an outdated tool. A high BMI doesn’t mean we will develop diseases or poor health. Unlike smoking, which we know causes lung cancer because it is backed by empirical research, BMI and poor health have no established causality.

2. Body weight isn’t voluntary. Many factors are at play: genetics, access to healthy food, physical activity and other resources.

3. When people try to lose weight and can’t, learned helplessness can develop. Because they don’t lose weight on the first try, they may give up completely on their health.

4. No weight-loss intervention has worked long-term for the majority of participants. People who have maintained weight loss are the exception, not the rule. I’m an outlier myself as I’ve maintained my weight loss of 20-28 lbs for over a decade. But that’s unusual and most people gain back the weight they lose (sometimes more).

5. Weight cycling is when the weight goes up and down the scale. Weight cycling IS connected to poor health. This yo-yoing is connected to inflammation, cancer, and possibly even premature death. It also negatively influences psychological well-being because we simply don’t feel good about ourselves when we weight cycle.

6. Trying to maintain weight loss puts people at risk for eating disorders. All kinds of unhealthy behaviors can emerge from rigid dieting.

7. The weight-normative approach encourages us all to be thin and constantly striving for that. It encourages stigma against people of different sizes. These stigmas tend to show up across various settings in our lives, including health care professionals. Overweight people are viewed as lazy while thinner people are judged for being able to eat what they want. It’s a vicious cycle with a massive amount of bias. In fact, it is actually this weight stigma that is connected to poor health - not the pounds themselves. 

Wow, so did you know all of that? 

I certainly didn’t realize that this is where the research had taken us in 2020. It’s so easy to fall into the pattern of counting calories and thinking that the way we grew up was correct. We’ve learned a lot, however, and it’s time to re-train our brains. 

Regularly, I see how the weight-normative approach affects my coaching clients on a daily basis. Many of them are consumed with thoughts about tracking food as they think obsessively about losing weight. 

If only this mental energy could be freed up so they would have the time and space to think about other, more important things! To create the work they want to share with the world. Instead, they are focused on the guilt they feel from last night’s dessert. And it’s heart-breaking. 

In the weight-normative approach, my clients beat themselves up for not reaching their goals. They constantly feel shame for not doing the work they “should be doing.” And they over-complicate their lives, thinking there’s one magical answer out there.

All in all, the weight-normative approach that many of us have become accustomed to is a hazardous burden that is harmful to us in the long run. 

Photo by AllGo - An App For Plus Size People on Unsplash

Now, let me introduce you to the weight-inclusive approach.

Are you ready for some good news?

This approach focuses on health--on the positive instead of the negative. Health has many components and can be measured in a variety of ways. Attention is placed on daily actions rather than a targeted end-goal. The vision is for long-term change. 

These clinically significant improvements are associated with weight-inclusive approaches:

• Lower blood pressure

• Increased physical activity

• Decreased binge eating

• Increased self-esteem

• Decreased depression

• No adverse outcomes to this approach (unlike the weight normative approach)

• Higher body appreciation

• Lower habitual appearance monitoring

The weight-inclusive approach also calls for more empirical research about what works and what doesn’t. This approach recognizes it is important to increase access to healthy options.

Models for the Weight-Inclusive Approach:

• Health at Every Size

• Physical Activity at Every Size

• The Body Project

Rather than focusing on the negative, weight-inclusive language uses positive vocabulary, such as “body awareness”, “intuitive eating”, and “health”. 

One of my coaching clients is focused on her health--and that’s the language we use. Not “losing weight”. She recognized the need to drop the “shoulds” around losing weight and to start defining health for herself. Right now, that includes sleep and taking vitamins--not tracking her food or reading more books about weight loss.

Now that you understand a bit more, focusing on the weight inclusive approach is accessible for you. Check out my free training on how to stop overeating today.

References Used to Write this Post:

Thanks to Paula Brochu for directing me to these published articles.

Bacon & Aphramor, 2011 - https://nutritionj.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1475-2891-10-9

Logel, Stinson, & Brochu, 2015 - https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/spc3.12223

Tylka et al., 2014 - https://www.hindawi.com/journals/jobe/2014/983495/

Hunger, Smith, & Tomiyama, 2020 - https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/sipr.12062

How To Stop Overeating At The Office [A Quick Guide To Resist The Urge]

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From birthdays to a plethora of cafeteria lunch options, it’s no wonder that it’s hard to resist the urge to overeat at the office.

Are you struggling to keep sugar intake at a minimum? Does your office make things even harder? And did you know that even those with amazing office environments feel that it's hard to maintain a healthy routine while at work? 

Have a look at some tips and tricks that will help you out and even inspire others towards a healthy office lifestyle.

Office Food Tips

Now it may seem that the odds are not in your favor, but you can achieve your weight goals—and relatively easily. I know that it is easier to head to the cafeteria with the students and other professors, but you want to live the best life out there, so let’s talk strategies.

Pack a lunch the night before

Preparing lunch and snacks for the whole day is one of the best ways to eat properly while at work. Packing your meal at home allows you to plan your lunches, making sure they fit into your daily parameters.

This works for snacks too, so if you enjoy cake, rather than resisting it, swipe it for a healthier version, and give up the refined sugar for natural sweeteners. Prepare batches so you have a weekly amount to munch on with less effort. I meal prep on Sundays so that I can grab my lunches out of the fridge every morning and go.

Although it might not seem about health, home-cooked meals will save you a considerable amount of money. And we can all use the extra money in our pockets.

Photo by Helena Sollie on Unsplash

Mastering the skill to say “No”

Office peer pressure can be consuming, even when it is unintended, because it is difficult to tell your coworkers that you don’t want to eat with them or that you would rather refuse the cake they brought from home.

However, you can find ways to politely explain that you’re trying to live a healthier life and therefore, are refusing their appetizing goodies and snacks. But this doesn’t imply that you have to become isolated from your work peers.

Instead of sharing fast food and cafeteria food with them, take your own. You can still hang out with them during lunch but enjoy the lunch you’ve prepped at home.

If you notice yourself continuously eating right after lunch, choose to go for a quick walk, even if that walk is simply around campus. Removing yourself from your desk will allow you to objectively measure your hunger level.

And by being fully aware of how you feel, you can adapt your habits accordingly. If you’re still conflicted, invest in a gadget to use at your desk to unwind, stretch or make yourself a cup of tea or coffee instead. Getting involved in a project that will have you engaged for a long period of time can support shifting your focus away from food and onto something better.

Stay Hydrated

Drinking water is vital to healthy living in general. But, did you know that drinking water can help fight those mid-afternoon snacking, flush toxins, and improve your clarity during the day? Water is underestimated and is one of the easiest and most hidden ways to bring healthy living to the workplace.

Once you start drinking proper amounts of water you will observe that you’re less inclined to choose junk food and sugary drinks. You will also probably see that it’s easy for you to control your weight and stay focused all day. I keep a water bottle at my desk that I love. It makes it so much easier to sip throughout the day.

And while office eating is a big part of getting and staying healthy, you can incorporate other healthy habits into your work life as well.

Office Exercise Tips

Exercise at the office!

If you are one of the happy few who enjoys a working place with a gym, you are one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have to understand the struggle to plan a workout session before or after work. However, even if you don't have an office gym at your disposal, you can still plan some quality motion while at the office.

Because academics have jobs that are pretty sedentary, we’re unlikely to get much exercise without any effort. But just like with the necessity to make changes to your office diet, a small alteration in your office routine will help increase movement and you'll start enjoying healthier living.

Exercise will also increase blood flow to your brain, making you more active, and enhancing your productivity. All of these advantages are an addition to burning extra calories and improving muscle tone.

So how will you do it?

To include some movement into your workday at the university, begin by turning your coffee break into a short walk. You can even invite your colleagues for some good conversation and inspire healthy work relationships.  

Choose the stairs over the elevator. Or, if you want to boost your confidence and adrenaline, you could even stop a few blocks before your workstation and walk the rest of the way.

You can also try out deskercise - exercising at your desk. Bring an exercise ball into the office and alternate between sitting on it, and sitting on your chair. Sitting on an exercise ball - the correct size for your height and desk - can improve posture. Try doing a few exercises in your breaks, and you’ll notice how you actually boost your strength, too. I love my standing desk for getting up from my chair.

Pre-plan gym days

Is there someone who opts for gym sessions after a long day at the office? Unless exercise is your hobby, probably not. And you are far from being alone in this situation.

If your intention is to add an extra gym day or two to your schedule, begin by pre-planning the right days for you to be able to attend the gym. If weekends are better suited for you, then plan to hit the gym at least once or twice Friday to Sunday. Commit to one work evening, and be consistent. Or, if you know that Wednesday evenings are the best for you to shine in the gym, be willing and choose a way to hold yourself accountable. 

I love my 5:30 AM CrossFit classes. It’s a great system for me. You have to find the system that works best for you.

Think about the future

You’ll probably always regret that afternoon snack - so try to prevent it. At 3 PM, when your brain tells you that you NEED the snack. Listen to the urge, but don’t give in. Pay attention to why your body wants the snack. I go over how to do this in my free stop overeating training video.

Make sure that your office lifestyle is adjusted to the healthy lifestyle you are trying to live outside the office.

The result? You’ll feel more active on a  daily basis, healthier, more coordinated and productive. 

Let me help you focus on your weight goals and discover how to be ready for the next challenges you'll face when it comes to weight loss and how to succeed. 

How To Stop The Urge To Eat Junk Food [6 Steps To Listen To Your Body]

Everyone has days when they feel off or way too busy, and the last thing on their minds is a healthy meal plan - especially around the holidays.  Not to mention the parties and social gatherings you need to attend that obviously include a buffet of delicious foods for you to indulge in.

So it's understandable that in certain situations it can become difficult not to overeat. You enjoy a healthy meal at home, thinking you’re doing great, and then you go out and are surrounded by junk food. Soon, you get hungry, and almost unconsciously you’re picking up dessert off the platter, and healthy food is forgotten.

Or maybe you really choose the “right” foods, but they’re just so delicious that you can’t have just one portion. We’ve all been there.

Have a look at six strategies that have changed the lives of many, helping them to live a healthy life, enjoy their meals more, and lower their appetite.

1. CONTROL YOUR BLOOD SUGAR LEVELS BY ADDING VINEGAR AND CINNAMON TO YOUR MEALS

Thinking to add some new flavors to your food and non-caloric drinks? Well, the good news is that there are many spices and flavors that can turn your food into both tastier and healthier. 

For instance, vinegar has recently been shown to lower your glycemic index, which means that you'll be able to metabolize the food more slowly. So, try and add acidic flavor to salad dressings, sauces, and roasted veggies.

For sweet-smelling and enjoyable warmth, add a pinch of cinnamon to everything from your daily coffee and morning smoothies to hearty chili. Just like vinegar, cinnamon slows the rate of your food transit from your stomach to your intestine so this will keep you full longer, and helps you prevent that post-meal crash.

2. LEARN THE ART OF EATING WHEN YOU’RE NOT HUNGRY

Often, when you get really hungry, you are inclined to overeat. In every episode of overeating, you will feel full, but then your insulin level spikes, making you feel tired, then really hungry again so you end up overeating again.

Trying to resist hunger is not a great idea, instead, try to nip it in the bud. Consider eating when you’re either not hungry or only slightly hungry, in order to eat less and allowing more time for your meals. When you are eating less during the day, you’ll have more energy which is certainly a nice bonus.

3. CHOOSE TO DRINK WATER, NOT LIQUIFIED CALORIES

In addition to feeling constantly tired and having your brain in a fog, mild dehydration can cause the sensation that’s usually mistaken for hunger. On the other hand, liquid calories like juices and sodas don’t feed your hunger, and their fast digestion causes insulin spikes. So try and give up the sweetened drinks and go for sparkling or still water.  To add some taste, you can also flavor it with lemon slices, strawberries or cucumber slices if you want, but don’t pack your drinks with calories.

Set a daily goal and aim to drink at least three-quarters of a gallon of water a day, using a reusable bottle. Also, make sure to drink a glass of water for about 20 minutes before every meal to reduce your appetite.

4. ENJOY EACH MEAL EATING SLOWLY

In the process of eating each meal, there’s a noticeable delay before you feel that you are full. This delay usually takes between 10–30 minutes. Due to this delay, we are inclined to ingest more food than we really need. And the faster we eat, the more food we are likely to consume at one sitting.

The solution? Try chewing each bite at least 10 times before swallowing. By following this simple rule you will end up adopting slow eating, thus allowing your brain to catch up with your stomach. On the plus side, you’ll also enjoy each meal more when you take your time to savor it.

5. LEARN THE HABIT OF HAVING A SMALL, FLAVORLESS SNACK BETWEEN MEALS

This secret was discovered by the late Seth Roberts. He used to consume a shot of olive oil or a glass of water with a tiny bit of sugar, this being an exception to the general rule on sweetened beverages between meals. Others may prefer a handful of unsalted almonds. Whatever your choice, try doing this once a day and you may see your appetite dramatically reduced. And this approach is especially important if your goal is weight loss.

While this may be one of the weirdest things you would ever try, it can also do wonders for you. The reason why this approach works is that it apparently adjusts the levels of ghrelin, the hunger hormone, by weakening flavor-calorie links. But in order for this to truly work, the snack must be really bland, and you must consume nothing else but water for at least an hour before and after the snack.

6. TRY THE “FRONT DOOR SNACK” METHOD

This will become one of your favorite hacks. Knowing upfront that your willpower is weakened when you’re hungry, and you can find more tempting junk food outside your home, you could choose to simply enjoy a snack of healthy food right before leaving home so you would feel less tempted out there. 

Make a habit of keeping a healthy snack (jerky, almonds, or vegetable chips) stored up at home and simply take a handful before you leave home. This will help you to “force out” the unhealthy food in your diet, and make it much easier for you to give up the unhealthy food.

WORST SCENARIO, BEST OUTCOME

What do you do after you’ve realized that you've indulged in just a little more than you would have expected? What is there to do or avoid doing right after overeating?

Far too many people fall into the same vicious cycle of overeating, restricting their diet, and punishing themselves after such an episode. Some of the worst things you can do after something like a weekend of overindulging is to blame yourself. 

And definitely don't fall into the trap of trying to compensate by skipping your next meals. Another thing you want to avoid is to force yourself to do tons of cardio as a way to 'balance' your episode of overeating.⠀

The best thing you could do is pay attention to your mind and the stories it is telling you. Become the watcher of your thoughts. The thoughts that tell you that “you’re not good enough, you’ll never accomplish this, and you’re a failure.” When you become the watcher of those thoughts, you get distance. You see that you don’t have to believe that voice in your head. Talking back to the voice and comforting it is the real battle.

I help my clients change their thoughts around eating. I go over the basics in my free stop overeating training (you can sign up with the form below). Check it out and see if you can start managing your urges to eat unhealthy food. I’ve done the work myself, so I understand.

Don't allow for one episode of overeating to hijack your meal plan and turn it into a whole week of overeating. You’ve got this!

How to kick an unhealthy eating habit to the curb

Are you overeating and regretting it afterwards? Eating too many snacks after dinner? Skipping breakfast because you're out of time in the morning? Do you constantly Google- Do I eat too much?

You're not alone. There are many unhealthy eating habits and patterns that we get into over time. They usually don't start overnight, but they can be hard to shake.

The first thing to recognize is that shaming and blaming yourself isn't going to get rid of that habit.

How do you feel when you think these thoughts?

• I should be able to stop eating after dinner.

• I should be able to feed myself breakfast in the morning before I leave for work.

• I should stop eating these unhealthy snacks.

Feeling guilty? Or some other negative emotion?

Feeling guilty doesn't make us want to take the actions we want to take. It usually makes us want to run away from the problem or hide it.

Too often my coaching clients think they can "should" their way out of a habit or into a new one. It doesn't work.

What does work is generating inspiration and determination.

Those feelings come from different thoughts, like:

• I know I can change this eating habit.

• I can do anything I set my mind to.

• I can figure this process out, step by step.

• Many other people have done this before me.

• I'm looking forward to figuring out a healthy eating habit.

The key is to find the thoughts that work best for you. They have to ring true and generate positive feelings for you.

Then you'll be able to take the actions you want to take.

You'll look back at your food tracking diaries to see what patterns are emerging.

Maybe you notice that every work day at 3:00 PM you wander over to the vending machine. Seeing that pattern allows you make a shift.

Then you can say, "Instead of going to the vending machine, I'm going to pack a healthy snack the night before." Try it. See if it works for you. If it doesn't, readjust. Small tweaks can make all the difference. They add up very quickly.

You might also notice a pattern of eating more at night. A lot of people trying to lose weight can stick to their breakfast and lunch plans, but struggle in the evenings. Recognizing that's a normal human pattern is important. It's called ego depletion.

As the day goes on, our decision making abilities get fatigued. It isn't something to beat yourself up about. It's something to recognize and adapt to (see how to conquer self-control).

You'll also be able to question the thoughts you believe to be true.

If you say something like, "I need dessert after dinner," you can question that. Is it true that you need dessert? Or has it become such a habit, that you aren't even sure if you need to do it? Try a night without it. See what happens. How do you feel afterwards?

Another common thought is, "Eating this cookie will help relieve my stress." We think eating makes us feel better. Eating as a reaction to a feeling isn't a strategy that works for us long-term. It's a way to buffer away our true feelings.

If you're feeling stressed, the key is to allow the feeling of stress. It won't last very long when you actually allow the feeling. You can even start to shift with statements like, "I'm feeling stressed, which does not mean I need a cookie." Try it, see if it works for you. Write down what you notice.

As you do start to change your eating habits, build in rewards.

If you've figured out a habit you want to change and make a plan to change it, what reward will you get? We all thrive on a reward system. If you avoid the vending machine for an entire week, is there something else you want to spend that money on? Is there an experience you can gift yourself (e.g., pedicure)? Create a system for yourself to succeed and something to look forward to in the future.

And don't try to change all the habits at once.

Many of us dive head first into 5-10 new habits all at once. We also have a knack for doing it right when everything else is stressful. The semester is ending, there's a work deadline looming. So we take on "healthy eating habits" like it isn't going to be too much at once. Habit building takes time. Give yourself grace and compassion in the process. Write yourself a permission slip to work on one healthy eating habit at a time.

Extra inspiration:

• Remind yourself of your reasons for losing weight

• Recommit to your weight loss goals

• Follow the CDC recommendations to reflect, replace, and reinforce your eating habits

Want to work on your eating habits through life coaching?

Leave your details below to sign up for my free stop overeating program!