How Do You Know What To Pursue? Lilies versus Leeches

Do you ever feel like you don't know which projects or passions to follow?

Recently I was watching a great video by Marie Forleo where she featured Dr. Ned Hallowell on her show. They talked about how sometimes we get so busy with so many projects and passions that it can be difficult to sort them all out.

So consider whether the project is a lily or a leech.

According to Dr. Hallowell, a lily is a person or project that is worth it. Something you are really passionate about and excited to jump into. Maybe someone asks you to play in the band on Friday night. You might enthusiastically say yes because it is a lily. Something that you feel is worth it. Sure, it might be a lot of work, but at the end of the gig, you'll say it was completely worth it.

On the other hand, there are leeches, or people and projects that are not worth it. Think about what a leech is - something that sucks the blood out of you. Perhaps an irritating friend asks you for a favor they could do themselves. You regretfully say yes and then wonder why you're doing the favor instead of doing something you love. Leeches take up our time and too many of them distract us from lilies. And not everyone has the same set of lilies and leeches. In fact, one person's leech could be another person's lily!

So choosing lilies over leeches is the way to go when thinking about a new project.

But what if there are so many lilies to choose from?

Many of us struggle with the possibility of too many lilies. Sure, you could play in that band Friday night, or hang out with friends, or help your little sister with her project, or take a new baking course, or...or...or.  Choosing too many lilies means too many flowers in the garden though. Too many flowers crowd each other out and get suffocated. Saying yes to everything means not being able to dedicate enough time to one project, letting it blossom and grow. So choose wisely and prioritize those lilies.

Action Step - Make a list of your lilies and leeches. Which can be eliminated?

Take the action step with me!  What are your lilies and leeches? Can you remove any leeches, which makes more room for lilies?  And can you reduce your number of lilies, so you can focus your energy on the people or projects that matter most?  Post below in the comments so we can share and strategize together!

Caitlin Faas

Developmental psychologist who loves growing up.

http://www.drcaitlinfaas.com/
Previous
Previous

Why It's Difficult to be Around People who are on a Clear Path

Next
Next

You're Not Average - How to Stop Trying So Hard to Be Average